Hey folks, you know me. Well, as you can see up in the corner, I'm feeling a bit possessed at the moment. Watching the new version of EXORCIST over and over again will do that to ya, but... For you folks in the non-test market regions of planet Earth, ol Flesh Gordon (noted scientist, football star and pornographer) and Claire Standish (the ballsiest chick to ever walk the page, a real go-getter) decided to go brave FINAL DESTINATION. At Showest, the leads were going on and on about how... this film has the COOLEST DEATH SCENES EVER!!! Well, that's saying something. So, Flesh and Claire (who was wearing anti-sex ray lead shielding) decided to go check up on the film, and here is their discussion about said film. Here ya go, there are some spoilers...
Hey folks, Flesh and Claire here with our review of FINAL DESTINATION. We know we aren't exactly writing this in a timely way, but SXSW consumed every conscious moment of our time during the last week and a half, plus for your benefit, we won't go on and on forever about how bad our backs are aching.
Flesh: First of all, I have to say that I wasn't expecting all that much from this film. The ads for FINAL DESTINATION seemed to be promoting the typical "hot and hip young cast in jeopardy" scenario. I ended up being fairly surprised at how tense and anxious I became during the course of the movie. THe film still has me thinking more than twice about ever flying again. The opening vision that Devon Sawa's character, Alex Browning, experiences of his plane exploding is eerily similar to morbid daydreams that I have had while flying.
Claire: Yea, I wouldn't suggest flying any time soon. If you are freaked out at all about all the real plane disasters in the news here recently, definitely avoid this film. On the other hand, if you aren't a fucking wimp, and have some balls, check it out. It will knock your socks off. As you may know, the film was directed by James Wong, of the former X-FILES writing/producing team of Wong and Morgan . It is is no way I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMERish as I thought it would be, but there is a killer, but he doesn't have a hook and he ain't wearing no cheesy fucking mask. The brilliant and utterly horrific terror of this stalker is that it is one we all know, death. Death has a pattern, a design that is not to be messed with. Alex (Sawa) and his friends cheated death, and death is pissed. Boy are they fucked!
Flesh: Claire, do you kiss people with that mouth?
Claire: Flesh, I most certainly do. By the way, my mother taught me those words at an early age. I am forever grateful to the woman.
Flesh: I'm sure that she is so proud, but let's stick to the review shall we? FINAL DESTINATION was a pleasant surprise. Unlike you, I'm not the President of the Devon Sawa Fan CLub, but I have to admit that he carried the movie quite well. The plot is paranoia central. The film asks you to swallow the notion that Death has you on a timetable. If you miss your date with him, he will quickly cash in on your raincheck. Sawa and a few friends make it off of a doomed plane, but they aren't safe for long. What is delicious about the movie is that we know when the death scenes are coming, but we don't know how they will play out. The anticipation is what this movie is all about, both your's and the character's.
Claire: But as much as I enjoyed the film, I gotta bitch a bit about some of the young actors performances. The movie deals with the tragic loss of siblings and classmates on flight 180, but they might as well have stepped on a bug judging from the cast's see-through reactions (except for Kristen Cloke, she rocked). Coming from a high school where I did lose friends, it is extremely painful and something that sticks with you. To be that young and introduced to death so soon is beyond any kid's mental capacity, and it shows in your every movement. Frankly I didn't buy it. Clear Rivers (Ali Later) trudges through her performance with a hidden smirk that just pissed me off. It was as if she was having a really good day before she came to the set and had to do a funeral scene. Everyone is dead. Funny, ha ha. I don't believe this movie was set up to produce an Oscar nomination for performance (no shit), nevertheless it was the brilliant and perfectly timed special effects that had me scared out of my gourd, and that is not easy to come by. The movie never once lost my attention, and it never gave me the chance to get bored. To the point, that is what I appreciate.
Flesh: Write a dissertation why don't you, jeez. FINAL DESTINATION had "good X-Files episode" written all over it. The two federal agents in the film could have been a glorified cameo for Mulder and Scully. Clearly the clairvoyant aspects of the film echo what Wong and Morgan are doing now on T.V.'s THE OTHERS. Kristen Cloke, a frequent Wong/Morgan fixture in such projects as SPACE: ABOVE AND BEYOND and MILLENNIUM, even has a role in the film. She plays the part of the freaked-out school teacher.
Claire: Amen, brother.
Flesh: This film does make you ponder just how many times you could bite it in a day. As I was driving home, numerous hypothetical car crashes popped into my head.
Claire: Get real, that was just me boning the Gordo wagon. Next time get out of the fast lane you freak. Fucking Sunday drivers, I'm never gonna die!! Anyway, one highlight of the film that gave me personal satisfaction is the way the bimbo girlfriend meets her demise. Way too cool. If you are one of those people who thought the best part of MEET JOE BLACK is when Brad Pitt's pretty boy face gets splattered by a Metro bus, you will thoroughly enjoy this flick. Demented fools like me who envision their foes deaths while daydreaming at work will get some wonderfully explicit visuals. No, I am just kidding. Well, not really.
Flesh: Well, what can I say after that. FINAL DESTINATION is a surprisingly fun little romp riddled with teen fatality.
Claire and Flesh signing off.
