And here's the Wooden Surfer's look at the films of SXSW this year..

Over the past 6 days I've seen 16 programs at SXSW. Last year I worked as a volunteer at SXSW, but worked so hard that I missed all the movies. This year I bit the bullet and decided to immerse myself for 9 days in the world of SXSW. I have been reading your sight your two years now and feel it is time to contribute to the cause. So here you go my reviews of all 16 in chronological order

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU

This film probably would never have made it to SXSW if it hadn't been made in Austin. It's amateur in almost every way. It's a typical sort of romance comedy with a "crazy" guy and a romantic girl who are total opposites, but bound to be together by the end. The script shows flashes of Seinfeldian brilliance, but they're few and far between. The camera is boring, the lighting is boring, and the editing was only interesting when they played the theme song "What I Like About You."

It had all the markings of an amateur plot. It was half-witty sarcasm, half outrageous slapstick. I've nothing against slapstick, but only movies that are solely dedicated to slapstick actually work. You can't mix slapstick in, it just doesn't work. Especially if the enitre ending is based on slapstick. Oh, and they threw in a guy character for laughs basically.

GRASS

GRASS probably will be my biggest rant, because it's the film that disappointed me most. Looking back on it, I've now seen 5 documentaries and this one ranks fourth. I read your review Harry, and although I deeply respect your opinion, I disagree.

All start with Woody Harrelson. Now he was probably doing a service by drawing star attention to the film, but he doesn't have a great narrator's voice. His low Southern mumble doesn't sound good. I think that GRASS did need an unconventional narrator but Harrelson is the wrong idea. I imagine someone like Woody Allen doing it because he's the sort of nerdy whiner who would just make the whole thing fit into place. He's no for experimenting and being a loose guy. Work with that. Also, you have a narrator USE HIM. That's the whole point. There were 20 minute stretches were Woody never said a thing.

Now the heart of the issue. The subject matter itself. I think the legalization of marijuana is a fascinating subject, and yes in the past America did a lot of retrospectively stupid things. But to have that point bludgeoned over one's head for 80 minutes is aggravating. Now, I'm no conservative. I don't do drugs but that's not politics it's a choice. I'm pro choice, anti-gun, pro-socialism, and pro legalization of marijuana. But I'm certainly aware that the situation is complicated. Marijuana isn't just harmless fun and all of these people were crazy dickheads to try and stop it. There's more to it than that. The only time in which GRASS ever represented the other's sides realistic views was in a brief clip of DRAGNET in which they explained that marijuana can have judgment effects similar to being drunk. At that moment for the first time in fucking 55 minutes the audience didn't laugh! That's because it's true! Smoking marijuana brings about responsibilities similar to drinking.

This brings me to the audience. Everyone was driving me insane. Every fucking clip, every fucking graphic they laughed. Sure the first outrageous Refer Madness clip was funny the first minute, but for 80 minutes. For a second, I thought someone must have been handing out marijuana at the door and I was the only one to miss it.

The bottom line is this: Too one-sided. The sarcasm was way over the top. You have to be more subtle than that. It came on too strong. Also, they need to cover the 80's and 90's better. Those periods were so short I though I must fallen asleep at some point. Oh, and the ending was tacked on.

TO SAVE THE LAND AND THE PEOPLE

This was the worst documentary, but I'll be brief. It's the story of the people who are defending the Appalachian mountains from developers. The subject matter isn't terribly interesting, there's no narrator, and I had a lot of trouble figuring out when things were happening. The interviews were obviously amateur and the whole thing almost made me fall asleep at 3:00 in the afternoon. Oh and it screened with a terrible short called BORDERLANDS.

Shorts Program 1

I'm not going to go into great detail but all just mention each film. STALKER GUILT SYNDROME and ASIAN PRIDE PORN are the funniest two. ONE SOLDIER and EEN KLOTEAG were all right. TO MY VALENTINE and SPEED OF LIGHT didn't make a lot of sense. INSIDE THE EYE OF SCORPIO RISING was boring.

Shorts Program 3

Same deal as above. TITTLER, HATE, APOCALYPSE COW, and CAT DIARIES were all hilarious. OREGON was really cool. A NURSERY TALE was the best all around short I've seen so far. I STILL MISS ONE was a little incoherent but it came back well towards the end. SUPER FANS sucked ass. No one laughed. Not a single soul. This is the best of the shorts programs I think.

GEORGE WALLACE: SETTIN' WOODS ON FIRE

When I walked out of this movie, I was ready to proclaim it the greatest documentary ever, but I changed my mind after seeing BEYOND THE MAT. It's still an outstanding accomplishment. A total in-depth look at the life of George Wallace. Wonderful clips, fascination interviews and some of the most interesting knowledge I've never known. If you think you know anything about George Wallace, guess again. The reason this only got second though was that, in the end, I didn't George Wallace, the man himself. i wasn't sure what sort of person he was. Had he repented for political gain or was it honest sorrow? It's also a little too by the book it reminds me very much of A&E documentaries. Still powerful, though.

Experimental Shorts

Maybe I'm not open minded enough but these sucked RHYTHM A LA TURKA, HALLWAY, HAUNT #451, and THE DRWONING ROOM were either incoherent, pointless, or hollow gimmicks. GRACE was also difficult ot understand, but it made up for it with some really beautiful images. DESCENT was an insane, yet cool montage of visual effects. G was cool. It was just four minutes of falling from 30,000 feet. FALLING was a documentary on the making of G. That was a little too long.

BULLFIGHTER

At the surprise screening at the Paramount, they were showing BULLFIGHTER. Something about the name tickled the back of my mind but I couldn't recall what. Maybe you can shed some light Harry. It was interesting, but I wouldn't have paid money to see it. It threw in pop religion and gun play, but there wasn't enough of it too make a cool film. The action wasn't very original. The characters were heart-warming and despite being a battle between God and the Devil over the second coming of Jesus Christ, it was very anti-climactic. It ended with a very short gun fight. I wouldn't call it bad but I would pay money to see it.

Animated Shorts

Only MUM, SUNLIGHT, and DELERIOUSPINK were bad because they didn't make too much sense. GRAVEYARD JAMBOREE was quite but nothing great. The PIGEON AND THE ONION PIE was cute, funny, and well made. ELEVATOR WORLD and FISHING were both funny and very simple in concept, which I like. WHEN THE DAY BREAKS was great. I just love the animation and the singing animal/people. It was very heartwarming. However the cream of the crop, and still my favorite short film was MISTER SMILE. I saw this film back at the Austin Film Festival and I still love it. It's witty, simple, and I even like the moral at the end.

SLEEPWALK

This is a wonderful character drive romance. Only two main characters and two one scene supporting actors. It was clearly either written for the stage or by a playwright. The whole movie except one scent takes place in our above the female leads apartment. It's all talking. There are no big actions, no breakthroughs, no nothing. Just slow steady character development. Simple filming, good lighting, good editing. A solid piece of work.

JUVIES

JUVIES ranks third out of five of the documentaries. It's okay. The character's and there stories are close, intimate, and haven't gotten that close to crying in a movie since Matt Damon hugged Robin Williams in GOOD WILL HUNTING. However, I could tell that the whole time they were trying to shock me with the whole juvenile system, but I wasn't shocked. I had see all of this stuff before. I already knew the system was a mess.

BEYOND THE MAT

This is the greatest documentary ever. When it opens, drop what you're doing. Jump out of your car, cut your appointments short, skip school, stop fucking you wife in the middle of an orgasm. . . Run to the movie theater. The great thing about this documentary is that the narrator is a real guy. Listening to the man narrate the passages and interviews you can tell that this has been a journey. That this has changed the way he has thought about his life. For wrestling buffs, you have to see this movie. For movie fans, you have to see this movies. For "wrestling is fake" enthusiasts, go see this move. For anyone who is a human being, go see this movie. It will change that way you look at wrestling forever. Why WWF would not want people to see this movie is beyond me? GO. Tell your friends. Tell you enemies. Tell the guys walking down the street and the operator on the phone. Tell everyone.

BUDDY BOY

BEYOND THE MAT was a hard act to follow, but this movie holds its own pretty well. The lead actor is very good while his mother is way over the top. She practically swallows the scenery. He is great. His character develops in the most subtle ways. It's not till the end that realize how much he's changed. The message was too blatant though. For some reason the moral has something to do with God, but other than the monologues there wasn't a very large religious theme. Good, but not the best.

STEAL THIS MOVIE!

Good, but not great. Vincent D'onfario steals the show but the first half is weak. The giant events and movements and demonstrations were filmed in too much of a close personal manner. It hurt the credibility of the film. Gave it a sort of made for TV feel. This works to the movies benefit in the second half though. The intimacy works well when dealing with Abbie's personal life. The supporting characters are OK, but the whole article subplot is loose and almost tacky.

A SIGN FROM GOD

Overall disappointing. The problem was that the production was really simple. They set-up a camera in one spot and just let it sit for the whole scene. It was really boring. The script was half improvised, too, which means that at times the whole thing moved nowhere. I hated the main character, too. He was such a dumbass that I kept waiting for his girlfriend to cuss him out. Oh and the ending is really ambiguous and probably the worst part.

THE OPERATOR

This film is a shame to bash because it has a good premise. A creep gets stalked by a telephone operator. But there were too many complications. The main character is totally unbelievable and I could have cared less if his life was ruined. The operator was a heavy-handed moral girl. Between repo men, his bookie, the women he's screwing, his clients, his boss, his wife, his friend and his cars the whole thing fell apart. The premise is too funny to be a suspense movie. And the acting is too serious to be a comedy. Ultimately it commits suicide.

PRICE OF GLORY

Playing to a surprisingly small crowd, this was pretty good. The boxing felt real though I don't watch boxing. Jimmy Smits was in peak condition, and the story was heartwarming. However, his three sons were bad. They were over dramatic and either annoying or unconvincing. Since the whole movie is about him and his three sons, this kind of bogs it down. Oh, and the stunts were coordinated by Benny the Jet for all you Jackie Chan fans out there.