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Capone says the teen party comedy PROJECT X isn't nearly as wild and crazy as it thinks it is!!!

Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

This will be short. I fucking loathed this movie, and it has nothing to do a "these kids today" morality suddenly taking root in my old soul. No, it has to do with the fact that PROJECT X isn't nearly as wild and crazy as it thinks it is or any of the people in it think it is. It's 90 minutes of underage drinking, followed by bits of nudity, a flame thrower, and constant, unapologetic yelling about how awesome what we're watching is supposed to be.

Let me explain something very simple to Todd Philips (THE HANGOVER director who produced PROJECT X) and the folks he convened to make this shit movie: if you have to constantly remind us how cool your party is, it probably isn't that cool. It's like that person you meet that keeps telling you what a weird sense of humor they have, when in fact they have no sense of humor. If you feel the need to push a sign in someone's face that says "FUN!" maybe you're doing something wrong. The bigger problem with PROJECT X is that it's really boring watching other people have fun. When I go to a movie and watch people ride a kick-ass roller coaster, I couldn't care less because it's not me. So watching a kid jump off the roof of a house into a pool, not so interesting.

It doesn't help that I hated the three main characters (Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper and Jonathan Daniel Brown, who were discovered in a nationwide "talent" search). It's also a found-footage-style movie, which is one of the most believable parts of it, since at this party, there are hundreds of cell phone cameras, flips cams, etc., recording each act of debauchery. But boy does that style of filmmaking get old in this kind of movie, with a non-stop string of cutaway shots of people (you got it) screaming, drinking, injuring themselves doing a drunken stunt... oh the possibilities are endless.

PROJECT X made me restless, bored, and really eager to leave the theater and enjoy life. Instead I had to sit a watch a story of a bunch of outcasts throw a blow-out so they could be popular and get laid. Well these three aren't popular with me, so there's no way I'm giving up the ass to them. Sorry, fellas. Better luck next time. If you have a modicum of self-respect, don't give these guys, Tood Phillips or anybody connected with this movie your ass or money either. I'm already sick of talking about this ass-wart of a movie.

-- Steve Prokopy
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