Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. That’s right, guys and ghouls. We’re going there.
There’s no time like Valentine’s Day to get perverse and that’s just the kind of films we have to offer up today in this extra special Horrors of Love column. So if you’re looking for touchy feely, check out some other post. This time around, we’re going off the deep end into dark perversions no sensible person would dare leap into. Now, with some of these, I sat through them just so you don’t have to. Others were surprisingly cool.
It is safe to assume that a lot of the shit below is not safe for work, so don’t come crying to me if Trudy from Accounting fills her granny panties when she looks over your cubicle wall. You’ve been warned…
So sit back, grab a barf bag, and get ready to scream, “Aww, man, that shit’s just wrong!” because that’s what we have up ahead as AICN HORROR celebrates LOVE horror-stylee!
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
MAD LOVE (1935)
NEKROMANTIK (1987)
TROMEO & JULIET (1996)
THE SICK & TWISTED HORROR OF JOANNA ANGEL (2005)
GRIMM LOVE (2006)
Advance Review: A LITTLE BIT ZOMBIE (2012)
And finally…EVIL HEAD!

MAD LOVE (1935)
Directed by Karl FreundWritten by Maurice Renard (novel), Florence Crewe-Jones (translation and adaptation: novel "The Hands of Orlac"), Guy Endore (adaptation), P.J. Wolfson, John L. Balderston, Leon Wolfson, Edgar Allan Woolf, Gladys Von Ettinghausen, Leon Gordon (screenplay)
Starring Peter Lorre, Frances Drake, Colin Clive, Ted Healy, Sara Haden, Edward Brophy, Henry Kolker, Keye Luke, May Beatty
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
So let’s start somewhat tamely.



The cast is top notch, with Colin Clive offering up a subdued performance, and May Beatty has fun with the role of Gogol’s housekeeper who never is seen without her parrot on her shoulder and liquor slurring her speech. You can’t really go wrong with MAD LOVE: Memorable performances, an amazing villain, and creep oozing from every scene. It shows the more twisted side of love, which is what this column today is all about.

NEKROMANTIK (1987)
Directed by Jorg ButtgereitWritten by Jorg Buttgereit & Franz Rodenkirchen
Starring Bernd Daktari Lorenz, Beatrice Manowski, & Harald Lundt
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
When I was in college in the late nineties, we had a night where my roommates and I would try to get the most fucked up films possible. When NEKROMANTIK came up on cue, we realized we had reached the pinnacle of perversion. This is one of those films that is not for everyone. It could be seen as art. Then again, it could be seen as shit. Much like the way THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE is received today, I’d be interested to see what would have happened had Jorg Buttergereit released this film today. The fervor would have probably been comparable.

Thematically, this film could be seen as a realization of the inadequacies of a male in a relationship, fearing that the woman can get along with him. A more nihilist approach could be read into the themes of necrophilia throughout the film as well. Though stomach-churning, the film is not guilty of being one-dimensional. That said, NEKROMANTIK does ring as pretty pretentious, as a gratuitous amount of time is spent on trying to gross out the viewer with slo mo lovemaking scenes as the couple play with the decomposed body parts and the real life killing of a rabbit on film. Though I’m sure Buttergereit wanted to drive the point home that he is being artsy-fartsy by juxtaposing a classical piano score alongside these acts of depravity, the sheer fascination the director seems to have with his cast rolling around in the slime defeats the purpose.

A sequel to NEKROMANTIK was directed, again by Buttergereit, coincidentally called NEKROMANTIK 2: RETURN OF THE LOVING DEAD. Most likely, this will be covered in next year’s Twisted Love Horrors AICN HORROR column.
NSFW!

TROMEO & JULIET (1997)
Directed by Lloyd Kaufman & James GunnWritten by Lloyd Kaufman, James Gunn, Jason Green, William Shakespeare
Starring Jane Jensen, Will Keenan, Valentine Miele, William Beckwith, Steve Gibbons, Sean Gunn, Debbie Rochon, & Lemmy from Motorhead as the Narrator
From Troma, of course!!!
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug

For the lovers of literature in the house, I present TROMEO & JULIET--a loose translation of Shakespeare’s classic about star-crossed lovers. The acting? Not so good. The directing? Pretty straightforward and uneventful. The story? Well, it’s Shakespeare, so it has that going for it.

I mean, how can you not love a film narrated by Lemmy from Motorhead? Or be fascinated by the forced lesbian scene and gratuitous T&A? Or laugh your ass off when one character gets his brains knocked out of his head when he falls into a fire hydrant, only to try to shove them back in and fix himself seconds later? TROMEO & JULIET has all of this and more.

Those with a loose interpretation of what is entertainment will definitely find a lot of fun in TROMEO & JULIET. It’s not high art. It’s Troma. And I love every depraved minute of it.

THE SICK & TWISTED HORROR OF JOANNA ANGEL (2008)
THE XXXORCISTDirected and Written by Doug Sakmann
Starring Joanna Angel, Tommy Pistol, Kylee Kross, Spyder Jones, and Andy Straub
RE-PENETRATOR
Directed and Written by Doug Sakmann
Starring Joanna Angel, Tommy Pistol
Find out more about these films here!
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
I have to state this fact outright. This is soft core porn, but as far as the sex goes, it’s nothing you wouldn’t find on Skinemax at midnight on any given day. We’re all grown-ups here. We’ve all seen it. So let’s just acknowledge that yes, this is a review of soft-core gore porn on AICN and move on, shall we?
Not that I’m an aficionado or anything, but I’ve seen my fair share of smut. None this gory, but aside from alternating angles, POV’s and close-ups/pull back shots, you don’t really look for stunning cinematography in these things. I don’t want to chastise the porn industry, but basically, if the picture is clear enough to see the beautiful bodies slapping together, the job is done.

Fortunately, Joanna Angel not only mixes horror with porn, but she also adds a large helping of comedy to the mix, making it all much more digestible. If this were played straight, I’d have a much harder time with it. But as is, though I didn’t find these two short films arousing, they did end up tickling my funny bone.
Angel and her writer/director Doug Sakmann are paying homage to the genre they seem to love dearly by spoofing them and refilming them fitting them to porn standards. A lot of the humor is very broad in the form of making the characters’ names sound more porn-y; Dr. Hubert Breast is the lead in RE-PENETRATOR while Regan McFeel (Angel) and Father Merkin (Tommy Pistol) round out the cast of THE XXXORCIST.

RE-PENETRATOR is much more of just a single scene in which Pistol plays Dr. Hubert Breast reviving a zombie with his green serum, then of course having sex with it. Though gory, this is more of a straight up sex scene than anything else and was light on the humor that redeemed THE XXXORCIST.
Though I’m not sure who exactly this type of film is for, I’m sure there’s an audience for it somewhere. If you like barf & guts, blood & grue with your sex, I’m not here to judge. I think, though, that THE SICK & TWISTED HORROR OF JOANNA ANGEL is right up your demented alley.
Well, it isn’t.

GRIMM LOVE (2006)
aka BUTTERFLY: A GRIMM LOVE STORYDirected by Martin Weisz
Written by T.S. Faull
Starring Keri Russell, Thomas Kretschmann and Thomas Huber
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug
GRIMM LOVE is a dark and dour film that really does push the envelope, but I believe that the characters are presented in such a stark manner that the filmmaker makes it very hard for the viewer to care about them. A part of Fangoria’s Fright Fest series from a few years ago, I admit I checked this one out because it had “love” in the title. Turns out it is a twisted kind of love story about two people who meet each other over the internet and end up finding a connection.

Maybe a Randy Neuman song might have helped GRIMM LOVE, though, because the mood was so dank throughout that I felt depressed after the credits rolled. Sure it is a disgusting subject, but the film is set in such a downer of a world where no one smiles, the streets are filled with puddles, horses are shot and dogs run away on a regular basis. OK, I’m exaggerating about the horses and dogs, but man, does this film need a Red Bull and some Paxil.
The plot is pretty plodding as Kerri Russell plays Katie, who is doing a research about this well documented case. The film itself is inspired by the real story of the "Cannibal of Rotenburg", Armin Meiwes. Meiwes met a man over the internet and agreed to eat him. After his arrest, a whole subculture of fetishists were brought to life focusing on biting and eating human flesh for sexual pleasure. Dark stuff, I know. And it makes for one of the most unfunny films of the year.

There is no surprise or shock--just events playing out exactly the way things were explained with our emotional connection to this story (Russell’s character) not making sense along the way. Director Martin Weisz gave us the remake of THE HILLS HAVE EYES, which itself was bleak and dire. The theme continues in this film. It plays out much more like a documentary, stating cold facts rather than trying to entertain or offer up identifiable characters. Things get graphic toward the end, but the first hour of this film is filled with so many monotonous lingering shots and depressing situations featuring the leads that it’s hard to maintain interest for that long. The final moments are intense, but by that time, I was just looking forward to the whole thing ending.

A LITTLE BIT ZOMBIE (2012)
Directed by Casey WalkerWritten by Trevor Martin & Christopher Bond
Starring Kristopher Turner, Crystal Lowe, Kristen Hager, Shawn Roberts, Stephen McHattie, Emilie Ullerup, & Robert Maillet
Find out more about this film here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Unlike horror comedies, this is a comedy with horrific elements. That said, the horrific elements aren’t that horrifying either. What it is is funny. Most comedies load up their first forty-five minutes with their best material and then coast on through the last half of the film. I was surprised that this film did the opposite. Though the start is somewhat slow and the comedy is a bit forced in the first moments as each character establishes who they are and why they are there, the latter half of this film really gets rolling as the four youngsters accept the fact that their friend is a zombie and they’re…ok with it.
The film centers on nebbish everyman Steve (Kristopher Turner) and his bridezilla to be, Tina (Crystal Lowe). Both play their parts convincingly, but for the most part, the viewers might find themselves wondering why this good guy is putting up with this annoying, shallow whiner of a fianceé. Luckily, the final forty-five minutes let us in on why Steve loves Tina. I found myself rooting for this couple to survive by the end because through all of her faults, Tina is willing to overlook the fact that her husband is a brain-muncher and still marry him.

One thing really got me in this film, and maybe it’s just a personal thing. I’m not a fan of drool and there’s a lot of it in A LITTLE BIT ZOMBIE. I can watch blood and guts all day and night, but the multiple scenes of Steve drooling every time the word “Brains!” is said made my stomach flip. That said, it is a funny running joke throughout the film--one of many.
The ending, though abrupt, is a winner, going out on a high note and leaving the viewer wanting more. I was surprised at how much I liked A LITTLE BIT ZOMBIE. It’s a low budgeter, but one with a lot of heart and some great comedic moments. Definitely worth seeking out when it gets distributed. Look here on AICN HORROR for news as to when and where that will happen.
And finally… A little research showed that the makers of RE-PENETRATOR and THE XXXORCIST will be bringing us EVIL HEAD some time later this year.
So, you know…
…there’s that to look forward to.
Here’s the trailer.
I’m going to go take a shower now…
See ya, next week, folks!
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, original @$$Hole / wordslinger / reviewer / co-editor of AICN Comics for over nine years. Mark has just announced his new comic book miniseries GRIMM FAIRY TALES PRESENTS THE JUNGLE BOOK from Zenescope Entertainment. He is also a regular writer for FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND and has just released FAMOUS MONSTERS first ever comic book miniseries LUNA (co-written by Martin Fisher with art by Tim Rees) You can order it here! Support a Bug by checking out his comics (click on the covers to purchase)!



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