Well ol' Father Geek gets an E-Mail from The Lonely Lady today, but alas its just another review of a flick. Oh well, at least its a little spicey...
Hey Father Geek! THE LONELY LADY here with the scoop on Madonna's new flick, "THE NEXT BEST THING"
First off, It was a radio screening and I could definately tell the crowd was excited to see Madonna, they were your usual mix of White Trash, lil BritneyBoppers, The Elders, and The closet-homo Gansters! Yes, It was a scary bunch of people but as soon as the lights dimmed and Madonna splashed across the screen, let me tell you, She has never looked more gorgeous!! With the perfect soft focus and golden rays lighting up Madonna's angelic face, I was enthralled!
The question everyone is going to wonder right away is Can The former Slut-Whore Icon act, and the answer is YES! YES! and YES!!!! She was so natural in this film and never did Madonna stiffen up, look or act wooden, she was like butter...all naturalle' baby, her honey locks shined and I was in awe!!! Rupert on the other hand had all the girls in the audience giggling like fag hags in training, He stole the first half of the show with his usual fluffy frantic antics. Very Funny stuff, when he confronts Madonna's ex boyfriend, the audience was in total hysterics...Won't someone put him in a gay James Bond spoof NOW????
Basically The plot plays like Will and Grace meets Kramer Vs.Kramer meets The Object of My Affection, Yes all you geeks out there are gagging going "GROSS" but after wading through Reindeer Games and Hanging Up, this film is actually a treat for the eyes, The stars really shine in this film, everyone from the heavenly mother herself, to Benjamin Bratt who look sooo yummy, I can see why Julia Roberts smile is so damn big!
Madonna plays Abbie who is best friends with Handsome Bitchy Robert played by Rupert Everett! Abbie has just been dumped by the guy who kissed Drew Barrymore, you know the teacher in Never Been Kissed! So Abbie is having one Major Major Moment and it is The Gay Prince, Robert to the rescue...Robert is a gardener and one day he is asked to housesit for two bitchy old queens, so Abbie and Robert pour the martinis, and in a hilarious scene, they trash the place and end up well...creaming each others twinkie! The Next Morning, Robert wakes up to find himself with Madonna, whoops Abbie, in the trashed apt, realizing that uh-oh, His Beer Goggles had just made him sleep with his best friend........which leads her to miss her period and you can only guess what happens next!
Flash Foward, six years later and they are living together but in seperate rooms, Rupert is now the happy father of a sweet boy and Madonna is a yoga instructer! One day Ben walks in and her hormones act up, they start dating, and naturally there is drama and tension in the household. Robert is Gay and believes that Ben is a threat and starts acting like a total bitch but hey, do you think Madonna is going to put up with his Drama???
The rest is typical Dramedy stuff! There are some funny moments when Ben arrives at the house for the first time to take Madonna out on a dinner date and Rupert gets all bitchy and funny!!Then the movie takes a real serious turn when jealousy takes it's toll on the best friends and they become Bitches from HELL!!!! It gets really sad and this is where both actors get to show off there chops in a big way!!! But no worries, no one gets killed in the end and the situation does get resolved in the end but I was surprised by the sudden direction in which John Schlesinger turns the movie to, but bascially the movie shows how one minute you can be best friends with some one and just bitter rivals the next! God knows how many times I have delt with that with my best friend whom I love and hate!
The Movie does do a drastic 180 and the laughter in the beginning all of a sudden just dissappers, kinda like in last years Life is Beautiful! So bascially you will be getting two films in one, a funny comedy and a hardcore drama, a Dramedy, get it? Okay I get it now, honey pretty soon, your local video store will have to come up with a new section...There we will find Minnie Driver...Jennifer Aniston...Natalie Portman and the mother of all, Madonna. She graces the screen unlike the Madonna we have seen with a beauty that definatley captivated me and I really was entertained by the balance she carefully played off of Rupert!
This one is worth a peek and to all you Madonna fans out there! YES, She can act!!!
The Lonely Lady
