Hey folks, Harry here with a fascinating spy. Calling herself 'my lickerish whore' And then assuring me that she'll be 'mEEting' me at this year's SXSW... And then to add tit to tat, she starts off this relationship with a review of a TROMA film... What I can only think of as being part of the required viewing for the perfect woman to be perfect... Well... I'm interested in developing... ahem... this spy and probing for further curious interests and such-n-such. Hmmm... I like licorice, and I like Lickerish even more....here's that wacky gal... oh yeah... I have never met Lloyd Kaufman, and I don't wear hats, and I would return his call if he called.
Hiya Harri! Oh, surely you know I adore the site...and i'm so looking forward to mEEting you at SXSW..well then, here I go with that little bit....
I had a most exciting evening at the Inwood theatre Friday in Dallas. My car was actually side swiped on the way..as there was a pre-show torrent of rain...zero visibility on the highway..I had to stop and exchange info in hurricane force showers..while the guy who hit me couldn't keep his eyes off my soaking breast..he wanted to go for a cup of coffe to recover..and gave me his home phone in case there was any thing I needed to clear up..but I had a movie to make...Upon arriving, I was completely distracted from any irritation as the featured film was Lloyd Kaufman's sensational new Troma picture...Terror Firmer! Lloyd was present along with a cheap Toxie , Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. and a couple of local Tromettes. He signed books and conversed with the fans before the show..someone asked him if he had ever met Harry Knowles, to which he thought for a second, then said "yes, at conventions...I remember speaking to him quite often,he always had a goofy hat on... though since he became a big shot, he never returns my calls" he was funny and approachable.. I was able to score a few promotional comics based on the film which are just as explicit as the movie...and I kid you not, this is the zaniest, most chaoticly enjoyable and kinetic film ever to come from Troma.
Terror Firmer has a touch of all that you expect from Kaufman.. and more... exploding skulls, blood, guts and gray matter drenched, vomit soaked nude whores.. brilliantly gaudy, rainbow sets, prissy fags, bastard bullies, hellacious fuck sluts with true and false tits...not to mention, the most convoluted and hilarious plot since Tromeo and Juliet!! Lloyd Kaufman plays a !blind! director...trying to shoot a film about a sexually confused serial killer..only the killings are actually happening on the set..The entire cast is surprisingly talented ...in all seriousness, the acting here is better than you'll find in the majority of more commercial films this year. The opening scene has a thin femme fatale ripping a bum's leg off, beating him to death with it, and de-fetusing a pregnant woman..fantastic!...There's so much atrocious killing...truly a feast for the eyes... a wet dream of a come uppance for an arrogant frat-type sound man...plus a spectacular sequence with a chubby, red headed actor and a car..I could go on and on..as this is only a tiny portion of the fun...there's more nudity and debauchery than a Janes Addiction after party...one of the first sex scenes in a men's restroom is pure pornography...Zalman King is Disney compared to this...
As a woman...I was absolutely enthralled and stimulated...the only real problem I had was that most of the better looking guys had smaller parts...hmm, come to think of it, that's not so unusual...But honestly, I cannot recall seeing as audaciously satisfying a film since Jose Mojica Marins' At Midnite I'll Steal Your Soul...Terror Firmer is an irreverent masterpiece of sorts...ecstatic fun...Lenny from Motorhead makes an appearance as do Matt Stone and Trey Parker..the movie is long but worth it...as Terror Firmer is Not Rated, the scope of theatres to show it and length of run will surely be small...if it's in your area, i strongly suggest you not miss out..
After the film, Lloyd Kaufman answered questions, most of which do not bear mentioning...the budget was less than $400,000, which is cool as the movie was shot on 35mm and looks great..his next film will be a zombie flick....someone asked Lloyd if he planned on being cryogenically frozen, or wanted to take advantage of technology when it became possible to preserve life...to which he gave a strong,(paraphrase) 'no, as you get older, you lose a certain edge, besides, i think suicide is way underrated' a superb sense of humour.. he went on to wax passionate on the injustice of the mega conglomerates and their deadlock on art...Mr.Kaufman is without a doubt a charming and dedicated independent filmmaker.. For Troma to have persisted for 25+ years is a wonder in itself, as not all of their product is worth an hour and a half...if you enjoyed any of Kaufman's earlier work, or are simply looking for a good time...Terror Firmer most decidedly is just that. Oh, and the trailer before hand was for Fight Club!! which was great to see... Alas, it is early, and i'm off to begin production on something with my egghead brother...im glad for you decided to post this review...i hope i can send more, we'll see.
Until our next rendez-vous..This is your lickerish whore bidding a fond farewell to all ...
