Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another AICN HORROR: ZOMBIES & SHARKS column. Not only do we have another pack of horror films for review this week, I’m also celebrating Friday the 13th with a look back at the first sequel in the series.
But before we jump into the reviews, here’s a few news bits you might find interesting…

Jon Holland - "It is hard for me to tell, I’ve heard so many scary sounds, being a fan of old time radio and horror movies. One sound that stands out for me in my own life, was the sound of a 12 year old boy's heart monitor slowing down to almost nothing. His mother and sister were in the room breaking down with each beep."
Keith Meyers - "The scariest, most bone chilling sound I ever heard was when I was volunteering as an EMT one night around Christmas eve. A car wreck. Victim lost control while driving and hit a phone pole sideways so hard he was crushed against the passenger side. Coroner’s assistant was MIA, so we helped extricate his body and place it on the body bag. Every bone in his body was broken. The sound as his body hit the ground…his skin a literal bag of bones…I will never forget."
Bradd Parton - "The scariest sound I ever heard was spoken by a dental assistant after my root canal. When she removed the rubber shielding strapped around my clamped open mouth, a quiet, but VERY disturbing "oh, no..." was her response. One of the tools the dentist used to perform the procedure had gotten very hot, and while it did not burn through the rubber shielding, it did burn my lower lip leaving a large, quarter-sized, painful-after-the-novacaine-wore-off white blister. All is well now, but at the time...scary."
Patrick Smith - "The scariest sound I've ever heard was last year, when I was lying in my bed reading when I heard the movement of something in the walls of my room. On its own this would not be that bad but I was right in the middle of reading HP Lovecraft’s "The Rats in the Wall" and as I neared the end of the story the movement I heard in the walls got more and more frantic to the point where I left my house and crashed on my friends couch."
Truly scary stuff. Congratulations to all of the winners and thanks to all who participated!

Meanwhile, I'll be shoveling snow in Chicago...grumble...
Congrats to Adam and thanks to all who took part in the contest. If you didn't win, you can still buy tickets to the event here!
Just an asshair late for the holidays comes ROID RAGE: THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL from the makers of ROID RAGE. That murderous hemorrhoid is at it again. This time, they’re here to deck the halls with bowels of holly! It’s ho-ho-O-ring! Enjoy the shenanigans…

Beware, this might not be safe for work!
Click here to check out the first episode.
Here we go…
(Click title to go directly to the feature)
FEARNET Catch of the Week: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981)
DORM OF THE DEAD (2009)
A DARKER REALITY (2008)
THE SUMMER OF MASSACRE (2011)
DON’T GO IN THE WOODS (2010)
Advance Review: WAR OF THE DEAD (2011)
And finally…Ryan McDuffie’s FOREST FALLS (short film)

Happy Friday the 13th!
FEARNET’s Catch of the Week:Available free On Demand all month!
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981)
Director: Steve MinerWriter: Ron Kurz & Victor Miller
Starring Amy Steel, John Fury, Adrienne King, Kirsten Baker, Stuart Charno, Walt Gorney, Tom McBride, Marta Kober, Bill Randolph, Lauren-Marie Taylor, Russell Todd, Betsy Palmer and Warrington Gillette as Jason Voorhees
Retro-reviewed by Ambush Bug

Even from the shocking opening moments of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 there’s a lot of metaphor to be read into the story. A small boy plays in a puddle, he’s called in by his mother, and as he walks away, a large boot splashes into the puddle immediately after. The boy has been replaced by the man. Now, the FRIDAY THE 13TH series has always been the butt of a lot of jokes, but while films like the original, THE FINAL CHAPTER, JASON LIVES, and maybe bits of JASON X were crowd pleasers, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 actually seemed to want to resonate with some sophisticated themes.


Also in this film, Jason is not treated as a lumbering retard. Played here by Warrington Gillette, this Jason is sophisticated enough to call his first victim, F13 survivor Alice (played by Adrienne King), to make sure she’s home and even knows to take the kettle off the oven so as not to alert the neighbors of his kill. He sets snare traps for his victims and is a much more meticulous killer than in later films, stalking the campers set to reopen Camp Crystal Lake and hunting them before dispatching them.






It’s the continuity that makes the first few FRIDAY THE 13th’s so special. The latter films forgot all of that. This one began where the first ended; acknowledging the history that was just building. It made you want to seek out the original and watch it back to back. Sure the storyline is almost identical, but the evolution of the killer from Pamela Voorhees to her son in this one felt like parts of a bigger story.

As you can tell, I’ve seen PART 2 quite a few times and never really get sick of revisiting it. It’s got some great kills, some absolutely suspenseful moments, another great score by the master Henry Manfredini, and one hell of an ending with an unmasked Jason taking care of business. This FRIDAY THE 13TH, if you’re looking for one of the better installments in the F13 series, PART 2 is tough to top.

DORM OF THE DEAD (2009)
Directed by Tobias Canto Jr & Tyrel GoodWritten by Michael Joyner, Tobias Canto Jr., Jimmy Anthony Donahue, & John Strong
Starring Aaron Sosa, Ryan DeLuca, Dana DiRado, Brian Oviedo, Ashley Pegg, Michael Miller, Jonathan Michael McClune, Chelsea Bowdren, & John Shartzer
Find out more about this film here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
There are a lot of zombie films out there these days. Seems anyone with a digital camera and a little fake blood can make their own. Proof positive of that is DORM OF THE DEAD. I’m all for indie films. Most of my favorite films of the seventies and eighties would be considered indie by today’s standards and though I can look back on those low budgeteers with a healthy sense of nostalgia, they also had imagination and that creative spark that guaranteed timelessness. Though it would be quite a leap to say that DORM OF THE DEAD will be looked at as a classic some time in the distant future, I have to applaud the filmmakers for giving the film their best.
DORM OF THE DEAD is a student-made film that is now being released on DVD from some youngsters from Tucson, AZ. And in the end, it plays like a student made film--as if the AV Club decided to get together and make a movie over the weekend. This isn’t a polished product. Actors flatly deliver lines. Sound is off and/or spotty most of the time. Directing is pretty flat and stationary most of the time. Even the gore is pretty uninspired.

There is a pretty fun scene where our band of survivors, attempting to make it through a zombie Armageddon, and stumble upon two fraternity zombies holding another zombie over a dead body as if he were doing a keg-stand. Though DORM OF THE DEAD tries to add some depth with a conflict between two brothers, most of the drama falls flat. The makers didn’t seem like they really wanted to tread into innovative territory. They just wanted to have fun making a zombie flick, and it shows.
I would never want to discourage today’s youth from making movies. Though somewhat uninspired and amateur, DORM OF THE DEAD shows that the folks behind the camera have big aspirations. The concept of a zombie keg-stand is fun and made me laugh out loud. But I feel as if the filmmakers might have made a better film with a little distance from college life itself to actually make any impactful commentary about dorm life through the lens of the zombie apocalypse. DORM OF THE DEAD is for those among you who are total zombie completists and appreciators of amateur filmmaking.

A DARKER REALITY (2008)
Directed by Chris KazmierWritten by Sxv'leithan Essex
Starring Daniel Baldwin, Sunny Doench, Alisha Seaton, and James C. Burns
Reviewed by Ambush Bug

I know I’m not the only one to sit through the abomination that was TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION starring a then unknown Matthew McConaughey/Renée Zellweger disaster, but as I watched Daniel Baldwin act crazy in this film as its serial abductor/torturer/rapist/killer, all I could think about was that film. The scene where McConaughey embarrassingly acts insane makes me cringe for him in TCM:TNG.


The ending suggests that Baldwin’s The Ghost may return for some sort of sequel. Here’s hoping that won’t be the case.

THE SUMMER OF MASSACRE (2011)
Directed by Joe CastroWritten by Joe Castro & Schroeder
Starring Brinke Stevens, Lisa Garcia, Lauren Boehm, Tim A. Cooley, Nicole McAuley, Dawn Roche, Chioma Nwosu, Samantha Dunn, Miss Tammy, Daniel Hubscher, Michelle Rico, Anahit Setian, Nicole Dome, Nick Principe, Cleve Hall, Rene Pena, Scott Barrows, Felipe Winslett, JT Seaton, Evan Owen, Ken Hall, Daniel Aldema, John Karyus, & Bahram Khosraviani
Find out more about this film here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
This film boasts the dubious distinction that it has the Guinness Book of World Records’ highest body count ever in film at 155 deaths. And when your film consists of nothing but one psychopath going around offing one person after another, I can see how they achieved this goal. Those looking for a story filled with character, nuance, and emotional depth should look elsewhere. This is a film for gore-hounds and if you like watching people kakked in a myriad of ways, THE SUMMER OF MASSACRE is the film for you.
Fans of the so-bad-it's-awesome effects on the TIM & ERIC AWESOME SHOW GREAT JOB! will delight in the spectacle of computerized gore on display in SUMMER OF MASSACRE. The makers of this film seem to be using the same style, as none of the effects are realistic by any means, but they are damn fun to witness. Blood spurts in an excessive fashion. Faces are turned to pulp. Every hit, slice, scorch, blast, or kick to a person results in a cartoonish guesstimation of anatomy and violence inflicted upon it.

Not to be taken seriously, SUMMER OF MASSACRE would be a great drinking game where a group of friends must do a shot or chug a beer whenever someone dies. Just watch out for alcohol poisoning because this film has a massive and bloody body count. Those not looking for substance with their gore should seek out SUMMER OF MASSACRE; an impressive, grue-strewn gorefest.

DON’T GO IN THE WOODS (2010)
Directed by Vincent D’OnofrioWritten by Vincent D’Onofrio, Sam Bisbee, Joe Vinciguerra
Starring Matt Sbeglia, Cassandra Walker, Soomin Lee, Nick Thorp, Casey Smith, Jorgen Jorgensen, Gywnn Galitzer, Alyssa Jang, Kira Gorelick, Nuriya Almaya, Ali Tobia, Kate O'Malley & Eric Bogosian
Find out more about this film here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug
So do you remember that scene in ANIMAL HOUSE when John Belushi grabs the guitar from the hippie singing to the girls on the stairs and smashes it into bits? Well, if you laughed your ass off at that scene, you will definitely find this film satisfying.
Thing is, I don’t think that’s the point director/writer Vincent D’Onofrio is trying to make with this horror/”musical”. DON’T GO IN THE WOODS attempts to blend horror and song together seamlessly and meaningfully, but ends up unintentionally leaving me in stitches.
An emo band tries to get back to their roots goes into the woods in order to write a new album’s worth of music. The especially moody bandleader gets super pissed when the band takes things less than seriously by bringing drugs, liquor, and cell phones and confiscates them all. Soon after, the band leader has more to whine about when a gaggle of girls show up to swoon and clap along to the music. And then, as luck would have it, a guy with a sledge hammer shows up to kill them all.



D’Onofrio was trying something interesting here and this is a nice looking film. But just as music videos are often bereft of anything but literal, surface level emotion, so is this film. Maybe D’Onofrio would make some great music videos, but he fails to make any of these people we are supposed to care for matter for anything other than upping the body count. One could argue by the way the killer dispatches the cast that D’Onofrio is taking just as much glee in killing these douchebags as the audience, but I think that he wants this film to resonate in the end and be up-ended in a wave of irony at the way things turn out. The final scene where the band leader stops in the middle of being chased by the killer in order to strum the perfect song he’s been working on for the bulk of the film is both hilarious and reeks of pretention. It seems D’Onofrio wants us to be heartbroken to see these just-blossoming flowers plucked just as their glorious music begins to shine through. But honestly, in the end, I couldn’t wait for the hammer to fall on these whiners.

Though the songs weren’t half bad, I’d recommend listening to the soundtrack rather than watching DON’T GO IN THE WOODS. If emo/folksy music is your taste, DON’T GO IN THE WOODS might hold your interest, but the cast makes it hard to root for anyone but the killer.

WAR OF THE DEAD (2011)
AKA STONE’S WARDirected by Marko Mäkilaakso
Written by Barr B. Potter, Marko Mäkilaakso, Starring Andrew Tiernan, Mikko Leppilampi, Samuel Vauramo, Jouko Ahola, Mark Wingett, Andreas Wilson, Antti Reini, Magdalena Górska
Find out more about this film here!
Reviewed by Ambush Bug


Director Marko Mäkilaakso does a good job of incorporating the action with the horror. Though he does seem to like to use slo mo a bit excessively to highlight dramatic events, most of the time he does so effectively. I'd put WAR OF THE DEAD in the same category as the UNDERWORLD series, using all kinds of flashy camerawork in its action-oriented tale.

The ending of this film suggests that this war is definitely not over by a long shot. I liked WAR OF THE DEAD. Though it tries to get heady, it's much more enjoyable as a fun mix of war stories and horror—a subgenre which doesn't dance often. Here the mix is most definitely digestible and delivers enough hard hitting action to satisfy folks liking a bit of punch with their scares.
And finally…here’s a really fun way a filmmaker can challenge themselves. The below short film, FOREST FALLS, was made with a handful of constraints. Filmmaker Ryan McDuffie set up constraints, limitations, and rules for making this short film. The fun part is guessing what they are. If you’re the cheatin’ type, you can find the constraints used here, but check out the short first and see if you can spot them. McDuffie seems to get a lot of mileage with this film despite the constraints. I know everyone always wants to shatter constraints, but sometimes I think the best films are the ones with limitations and sensible ways around them. Check out FOREST FALLS…
See ya, next week, folks!
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, original @$$Hole / wordslinger / reviewer / co-editor of AICN Comics for over nine years. Mark is also a regular writer for FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND and has just released FAMOUS MONSTERS first ever comic book miniseries LUNA (co-written by Martin Fisher with art by Tim Rees) You can pre-order it here! Support a Bug by checking out his comics (click on the covers to purchase)!
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