SCREAM 3

Hey folks, Harry here with my review of SCREAM 3 which I went and saw at a late showing here in Austin tonight. It should be noted that if never appear again.... or simply become bait and tackle for sharks off the coast of Jurassic Park... Well then, I enjoyed my last movie... Which would be SCREAM 3.

I think there were a combination of things that made this movie a lot of fun for me tonight, and I have to make this quick cause otherwise I'll miss my plane and that would suck. First was the fact that I had come to believe wholeheartedly after watching that retching festering pile of hogshit known as SCREAM 2 that this series was only good to put the blue in the toilet bowl.

With those sorts of expectations... followed by mixed reviews and advanced word... I went into this expecting to YAWN like I was in a Rennie Harlin movie. However, That was far far far from the case.

Second, they kill a shit load of people in the film. In the post-Columbine nightmarish reality that we live in, I was convinced that we were going to get... lots of wounds, but very little DEATH and finality for characters. WRONG!

Third, the funny in this movie is funny. Now... my favorite part of the whole film is Jenny McCarthy attempting to play a bad actress that believes that she's reading a bad script, but she's trying to make the bad script sound good, but her bad acting only makes it worse and the entire time there is a third layer of Jenny that is giggling at herself while she's doing it, and it just had me keeling over... Ok. Well maybe I saw it different than you, but that is how I saw it. NO... It's not because of her boobs! No way, I'm much more hung up on Parker Posey!

Fourth... PARKER POSEY!!! Parker Posey should be required casting in order to get your financing on all films in Hollywood. She is like some sort of trancendent being that floats about the earth making me giggle. In every scene that she is in... She's screwing with the viewer. Bugging her eyes, biting her bottom lip, twitching and acting neurotic and at the same time she's just adorable, and the scene where she... hops into the... hehehehehehe... I love her. She's just a blessing.

Fifth.... Dewey. HE ROCKS! While Courtney Cox is like my least favorite actress in the whole wide world after Neve Campbell and Denise Richards and Sophie Marceau and Natasha Henstridge and... well a couple of others... But she is perfect opposite David Arquette. David's complete and utter lack of confidence or connective brain tissue, but lightning fast reflexes of a neutered cheetah, just make me howl. HOWEVER! Whoever decided to get rid of Dewey's Theme in the score should be tied to the back of 55 BIG WHEELS and as 55 hyperactive twit children drag and twist and mash his/her body against the pea-gravel ground, they... you get the idea. I WANT DEWEY MUSIC!!!

Sixth... Even though Randy died in SCREAM 2.... they didn't SEARCH FOR SPOCK out and completely and forever ruin the SCREAM trilogy by having him pop up somehow in the real world... and as everyone who has seen the commercials know... their way of bringing Randy into play in this film actually was a quite classy move.

Things that keep this movie from being GREAT....

Neve Campbell is in it, and everytime she appears on screen it's like a gigantic screen of static snow with a droning hum sound takes over. SHE IS SOOOO BORING!!! God, just feed her to ostriches or something. Neve should've died in the first film, then in someone's dream sequence she'd die again in the second film, and then in the third one she would die before the DIMENSION logo went off screen. She adds ZERO coolness. Zero talent. And Zero charisma to this film.

The whole how it comes together thing at the end felt like (and I'm talking about the revealing of who/whom the Ghostface/faces are scene) some sort of really really bad episode of DAYS OF OUR LIVES or something.

Patrick Dempsey... there is a reason he hasn't been in films much recently. You can see it in all his scenes. ANd by the way... what happened to his infinitely cooler partner that I really really liked a whole ton of a lot more than him and who should have been there to back up Dewey because those two should have their own series of SCOOBY DOO like adventures in various Haunted Houses.

However, things this movie has over the first SCREAM in spades? Well due to the gods above there is no MATT LILLARD and FREDDIE 'blank stare' PRINZE JR!!!! YIPEE!!!

I like how to feel the GIGANTIC VOID left by Randy they had to create 4 or so characters to take his place...

This movie won't win any trophies or lauditory wreaths of oak leaves... but it was a fun way to spend an evening.

BTW... with the notable exception of the Fantastic trailer for HIGH FIDELITY, what the hell was up with all them shitty trailers. READY TO RUMBLE? Moriarty... the boy is on crack. REINDEER GAMES... Ben Affleck's head shaking around high pitched sped up voice thing is getting to be very annoying, but any movie with Danny Trejo in the trailer can't be wholly awful... can it? Whatever that high school, let's score some puntang that is aged 15 to 16 years while telling you every key scene in the whole stupid lamebrain friggin movie was... I hated it... though the chicks were cute. The dudes were dudes. and the film felt DUDish.

I'm off to the islands in under an hour now, but just wanted to share my SCREAMs with you...