The Evil Genius Needs Your Help! (or How Holmes Kicked Moriarty In The Nards And Only You Can Help Him NOW!)
Published at: Feb. 2, 2000, 7:05 a.m. CST by staff
Due to catostrophic experiments gone wrong! The Cannibalizing of parts to create Henchmen Mongo a mate. And other terrible acts of misguided genius. The old man. The dear professor. The scourge of sewers. That's right... I'm talking about MORIARTY.
I'm sure there have been many questions regarding the evil genius' whereabouts... what happened to his RUMBLINGS... Where's that damn 90's thing he promised? Yadda yadda yadda... Well, the fact is... It's locked inside a pit of hell known as a 66mhz PacBell with a 400 meg hard drive that is 8 years old. The computer is on it's last legs. In fact it's legs were amputated long ago.
If you live in the Los Angeles area... if you have a spare computer, parts, know how and brilliance. Then Moriarty needs your help. Holmes has him cornered. You can't send the man EMAIL. The computer doesn't work.
He has instructed me to give out the land line for his Labs as a distress beacon to bring in the cavalry. The phone number for Moriarty and Moriarty Labs is...1-323-851-6038. If you don't call... then... you may have already heard... the last of Moriarty...
