Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with yet more D23 coverage! How about The Muppets? Yessir, I think that’s a good one to knock out as I climb my way out of this hole of movie news.
There is a moment in the footage that was shown where Kermit enters the condemned Muppet Theater that is played for total seriousness and actually worked so well as a dramatic moment that it broke my heart a little bit. Kermit enters quietly, seeing the disarray the theater is in. It’s virtually destroyed after years of neglect. An old intro by Kermit welcoming Bob Hope to The Muppet Show can be distantly heard, the ghost of a memory as the audience applause fades into nothing but silence. It’s deeper than I was expecting, feeling like a commentary on how the Muppets have been handled recently. They brand is in neglected and needs a group to come along and inject some love and energy back into it.
Using this particular plot device as a way to tell a gettin’-the-band-back-together story seems inspired with this moment nailed.
Of course, being a Muppet movie this is quickly turned into a fun loving humorous montage as Jason Segel and the rest of the gang says all they gotta do is give the theater a good cleaning, some TLC and it’ll be good as new! Cut to Scooter standing alone pushing a broom barely putting a dent in the debris and layers of dust on the ground. The others look on as Kermit says, “This is boring!” Segel says, “Don’t you guys usually do this to music?” and the montage has begun!
Dr. Teeth hits play on a boombox and We Built This City by Starship plays and the clean up montage starts as everybody pitches in. There’s a great moment of Floyd Pepper (the ‘70s rocker Muppet guy, yep you know exactly who I’m talking about even if you didn’t recognize the name) calling Animal over as he pulls a dirty sheet off of Animal’s drum kit. Animal’s eyes open wide and he starts freaking out, like a kid that just got a his Christmas wish. It’s kind of a sweet moment.
Another moment from the montage had the Swedish Chef doing his part by going to his fridge. The second he opens the door he’s assaulted by Henson Co animated rotten food, including meatballs with teeth. They scream at him from the dirty shelves and he returns with a flame thrower and says, “Say hello to my little friend” as only the Swedish Chef could say it and lets them have it.
Kermit spends most of this time trying to book guests by breaking out the old rolodex. He first tries to get in touch with Jimmy Carter and doesn’t do too well. Over the course of the montage, he goes through everybody on the rolodex, scratching names off as he goes, including Molly Ringwald. Everybody else is making progress, but Kermit seems to be having trouble bringing out the celebrities. I wonder if Ringwald will appear in the movie later since they made a big deal of crossing her name out.
Of course by the time the song’s over the stage is back in tip top shape and everybody’s happy.
Including the audience. They ate up the footage and I don’t think that’s just my own personal enjoyment of what was shown coloring my impressions, either. I heard a lot of people afterwards saying that The Muppets won the day.
Certainly some of that feeling came from the really fun introduction by Jason Segel and Kermit the Frog, both were sitting in director’s chairs pushed in on a small platform, the backs of which were against a black curtain, conveniently hiding the puppeteers, I imagine. The crowd went crazy for Kermit. A woman screamed out, “I love you,” and Kermit went into Crazy Kermit voice and shouted he loves her, too, which made the audience go even more crazy as they had a real indication this wasn’t just a stationary Kermit, but one actually able to interact. That made him more alive and real.
Piggy was supposed to be there as well and Segel asked Kermit where she was. “Jason, you worked with her. Did she ever show up on time once?” It was a good thing she wasn’t there, but they realized she wasn’t in any of the clips they were going to show. When Kermit figures this out he goes into scared Kermit mode. “No Piggy? If she ever finds out she will tear this arena apart!”
Of course Ms. Piggy entered at this point, in spectacular fashion, riding in a motorcycle sidecart. The biker was pretty hardcore, too. They had to break the news to Piggy and, predictably, she throws a fit when she figures out she’s not the star of the footage being shown today and starts screaming for Disney head honcho Rich Ross.
The clips rolled after this. I’ve described the montage one already, but the first one was even funnier. Amy Adams, Jason Segel and Segel’s best friend, Walter, who just happens to be a puppet. They’re looking for something in Bel Air and when they come across a pair of iron gates with Kermit’s face on them their search is over.
No doorbell, though, so Walter says, “Throw me over.” Segel bends him up, pulling his legs up over his head, etc… getting him ready to toss. Adams says she thinks it’s an electrified fence and Walter says, “Electric fence? This is Kermit the Frog!” If you’ve seen the trailer, you know what happens next… they toss Walter, he hits the electric fence, fries for a bit and falls, smoking to the ground.
But as he hazily looks up a figure steps up in silhouette, backlit by a bright white light. “Can I help you?” If Kermit’s voice wasn’t familiar enough, his outline sure is. Choral singing can be heard, heavenly church music, as Walter’s eyes widen. Then a church choir bus drives by, everybody inside singing that heavenly music and as they pass it goes away and Walter passes out.
He wakes up inside Kermit’s house, with Adams, Segel and Kermit looking over him. He passes out again.
Kermit entertains the newly awoken Walter and his two human friends by bringing out his servant, and this part cracked me up, whose name is ‘80s Robot and I swear to God it’s an Omnibot. ‘80s Robot wheels in holding a tray with Tab and New Coke on it and when they decline he bumps into a wall over and over again saying “Gag. Me. With a. Spoon” in his robot voice over and over again.
Silly yes, but I was howling with laughter. It was so well executed.
I have officially gone from “I hope they get this right” to “I can’t wait to see the new Muppet movie!” Good job, guys.
So, recap. Amy Adams being cute? Check. Muppets being awesome? Check. Lack of Jason Segel’s penis? Check. Footage showing both heart and laughs? Check. This one’s looking up!
-Eric Vespe
”Quint”
quint@aintitcool.com
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