Ahhh... it's the resurrection of the ol... "IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE" routine eh? Hmmm... Well, if they had a planet destroying bomb that became sentient that the pilots had to talk back into the bomb bay... well it could be a gorey remake of DARK STAR. That could be fun. Or what was that robot movie, SATURN 5 or something? Or perhaps it's the 'reverse' of OUTLAND. Well, anyways... here we go..
Just for the hell of it, call me Mister Pink.
To start, Jason was never my cup of tea. In the Freddy or Jason debates, I was all for Freddy and his mind-twisting creativity and creepiness.
There was nothing even remotely creepy to me about a guy walking at snail's pace while you run as fast possible, and yet he's always in front of you. However, I've still always enjoyed a good Jason movie: the constant change of weaponry, the inventive and gruesome kills, the wonderfully fragile motivations for people to stop whatever they were doing for the sake of getting it on. Does this film satisfy? Yeah. It's inconsistent, but the parts that are good are just plain badass.
Plot: There's no resurrection scene, which upset me. The movie opens to find him shackled Hannibal Lecter-style in a maximum-security area. Like in the 9th, the police know about Jason (but, thank God, all that spiritual stuff is out). They know he's impossible to kill. They know he can't be stopped. And so they come up with the only solution possible: make him someone else's problem. He is cryogenically frozen and not rediscovered for another 500 years. Before they get to do so, he creates some havoc, and a girl from our time is frozen with him. To sum up the rest, an archeology class does the rediscovering and loads the two popsicles onto their ship on their way back to Earth 2. They thaw, and the rest of the film plays like Alien, with Jason recast as the Alien.
This all sounds very dopey, but it actually works for me. All of the conventions of the other films are done tried and true. Cool deaths, change of weaponry, and plenty of horny college students screwing just because, "hey, I've got a few minutes free. How about you?" Similarly to the Alien deal, the film rips off a whole bunch of other movies, but it all works; it's just a hell of a lot of fun. And there are a few things that happen that I won't spoil because they truly do kick ass. Now, given that I've given the script the best damned rating it could hope for, I have one question: can they pull it off? Some of the best things in this script require a hefty budget, and, y'know, traditionally the Fridays have been bottom of the friggin' barrel. Any way you can find out what the estimated budget is?
That's it, Harry. You seem to be a horror fan, and I hope this e-mail finds you happy.
Mr. Pink
