Hey folks, Harry here, welcoming back our super-viewer, Father Death, back at his first Sundance, since I was there. And I have to say... In my preview of SUNDANCE, I thought that this sounded like one hell of a fun movie, but... man... Father Death really seemed to think it was a real blast. Trust me, this fella has good taste most of the time (previous experience with his reviews, about two years ago) and I gots the feeling he's on again.
Yo Harry -
Father Death has risen from the grave after two years of lethargy.
I went to SFF to see the particular movie with a friend whom I'll call Nightwatcher. When we got there, we found out we screwed up because the movie we want to see bad wouldn't be shown until sometime this week. I gave myself a smack in the head. While we were wandering aimlessly through Park City, I decided that we give THE CONVENT a shot. He agreed to go with me to see it. When we finally got to the destination, Nightwatcher was let down by the sight of a long line of the movie fans at least an hour before the showing. I pleaded with him that he give it a chance. He stuck with me on the spot and wait whether we're in luck to see the movie. By the stroke of luck, we were virtually the last ones to be shuffled in 'cause a guy standing in front of me gave up and lended me the waiting list ticket number 77 in the midway. We sat in the second row of the far right in the small-assed screening where I saw GODS & MONSTERS two years ago. The Will Ferrell look-alike dude (sorry, I don't know who) and the director Mike Mendez came forward to introduce the movie in the black leather trenchcoat fashion. He looks like the ruffled and overweight Neo from THE MATRIX. Our expectation was low from what I read the synopsis of the film.
What do I think of the movie? It's really cool and funny. Mark my word, the movie is destined to become a cult classic and the worthy successor to THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. A true midnight movie mixed with horror, sci-fi, action, comedy...you name it. Definitely a revelation for the rabid fans of black comedy, slasher/zombie flicks and Fangoria.
I'm gonna have to keep the review short -- it would do the movie a disservice if I divulge enough spoilers to ruin the fun. That's the movie's whole intention. It's essentially the cheesy B-movie with some of the elements inspired by the classic horror flicks such as THE EXCORIST, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, HELLRAISER, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, EVIL DEAD 2....too many to count. While it may sound like an inferior rip-off of other horror movies (especially after the success of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and SCREAM), the movie is an absolute blast to watch.
I can't keep the mental notes, so my knowledge of the film is limited. If only I had a press kit. It's about the group of insipid teenagers -- or college students depending on your perception -- breaking in the condemned convent and all hell breaks loose as the vampires and demons are unleashed upon them. The actress who played the main character was very impressive -- I forgot her name. She looks like the next Jennifer Love Hewitt, even though I hate I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER with a passion. She can kick ass without the bobbling cleavages to distract horny male movie patrons. Maybe -- the dumb blonde cheerleader character whose skimpy outfit show what a nice piece of ass she has. Charles Sheen should love it. THE CONVENT have a no-name cast -- except for the black cop with a bad attitude played by none other than Coolio. Coolio has a weird samurai haircut that elicits laughter from the audience, which I think is intentional. There's so much in THE CONVENT it's impossible to tell you in details -- you have to see it to believe it.
The movie have over-the-top gore and incessant violence and black humor to satisfy the fans, plus it's innovative in the whole new way. Watch for the funky fluorescent FX make up and gore effects -- the sight of the spurting and splattering gobs of neon vomit and blood is awesome. And it's definitely the movie to savor for its inventiveness of the midnight genre. There are plenty of incredibly scary scenes that made a few jump their ass off of the seats and tons of stomach-churning gore in the vein of THE FACE OF DEATH and DEAD ALIVE. The scene that most gross out the people is the vampire gothic fellating a man only to chomp off and the gallons of blood spurts all over the place as the victim screams in pain. Even though some parts are hard to endure, I've never had so much fun watching the movie -- it's a great black comedy, especially the uproariously horrific ending which should eclipse the talking dog in SUMMER OF SAM for sheer hilarity. There are also the funny spoof of Rambo, The Terminator, Aliens and others.
After the movie Mike discussed the film and had a little Q&A session. Not much I can remember, except there was a guy (Joe Gunn I guess) whose character had his dick bitten off and turned into a ferocious, blood-thirsty demon was behind us and Nightwatcher quipped, "I'm scared of you now". He laughed. We walked out of the screening and he was behind us and still laughing like a maniac. I shook his hand briefly and we were a little stunned that we have encountered the Ricky Martin clone actor.
THE CONVENT is the unflinchingly violent and satirically funny movie that Nightwatcher and I enjoyed immensely, as did the audience (well...some). It's definitely the NC-17 material. Believe it or not, there were the minors in the audience. I saw a 11 year old girl. The movie is definitely not for everyone -- unless you have acquired taste and can tolerate loads of pervasive violence and gore without feeling sick and retching. Mike Mendez is Peter Jackson of the independent filmmaking. A great cult potential that the spawns of THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW generation will love. From what I saw in the movie, it looks like it's going to take the trip straight to video. I hope not -- this is the best horror comedy movie I have seen since KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE.
Adios,
