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Father Geek reporting with a story submitted to AICN by that bad boy film critic/reformed(?)hardass Vern. It seems that our favorite ex-jailbird has sent in his picks for best films of 1999, well at least those he's seen since he got out of the Big House. Normally Father Geek wouldn't print this kind of "FAN" list as a frontpage story (They're usually covered well enough in Talkbacks), but Vern brings a certain expert knowledge, an intimate understanding of the genre and a feeling for the characters to his choices that is not ordinarily(Is that a word?)available to you, our loyal readers. Sooooooooooooo without further adieu, here's what Vern sent me...

Several 1999 films and performers were honored January 8th in the first annual VERN'S motherfuckin OUTLAW AWARDS. The awards were presented by the unique internet film writer Vern, author of the weekly film and culture column VERN TELL'S IT LIKE IT IS.

Vern, who finished serving a sentence for armed robbery "and complications thereof" last August, cautions that his awards do not represent the entirety of 1999 - only "since I got out."

Director David Fincher's controversial thriller FIGHT CLUB took top honors, receiving the Best Picture Since I Got Out of Prison award as well as Outstanding Achievement in Fighting Dirty. The Wachowski Brothers's cyber-mindbender THE MATRIX also took home two Outlaws, for Best Badass, female (Carrie-Anne Moss) and Best Performance by a Non-Badass in a Badass Role (Keanu Reeves).

Other big winners include Steven Soderbergh's THE LIMEY (Best Picture - comedy, musical or Badass) and BLACK MASK (Best Picture - karate).

"This all went very fucking well in my opinion," said Vern. "I hope David Fincher, the limey, all these motherfuckers-- I hope these individuals are very, very fucking proud. To me, that would be the best thing, for them to be proud of it."

Complete list of winners:

Best Picture Since I Got Out of Prison: FIGHT CLUB, directed by David Fincher

Best Picture - comedy, musical or Badass: THE LIMEY

Best Picture - karate: BLACK MASK

Best Badass, female: Carrie-Anne Moss, THE MATRIX Honorable mention: Milla Jovovich, THE MESSENGER

Best Badass, male: Mel Gibson, PAYBACK

Best Performance by a Non-Badass in a Badass Role: Keanu Reeves, THE MATRIX

Best Performance by a Badass in a Non-Badass Role: Bruce Willis, THE SIXTH SENSE

Best Performance by a Supporting Badass: Ray Park, SLEEPY HOLLOW and STAR TREK [sic] Honorable mention: Gregg Henry, PAYBACK

Special Technical Award: Digital Versatile Disc (DVD)

Inspirational Catch by an Old Dude: Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones, ENTRAPMENT Honorable mention: Kevin Spacey and Mena Suvari, AMERICAN BEAUTY

Outstanding Achievement in Fighting Dirty: puking blood in a guy's face, Tyler Durden, FIGHT CLUB Honorable mention: executing a man for not having a lighter on him, Porter, PAYBACK

Outstanding Achievement in Running, foreign language: Lola, LOLA RENNT (RUN LOLA RUN)

Details of each award, a transcript of Vern's introductory comments and stunning new work by renowned visual samplist Walter Leno of Walter Leno Pop Designs can be found on the web at ---

Catch you later...


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