END OF DAYS v.2 review

Well folks, this was a fascinating evening at the movies.

I went for the third time to see END OF DAYS, not because it’s the type of movie worth seeing 3 times in quick succession, but rather... I was curious to watch the movie with a full blown audience.

You see, both times I saw the film was in ‘friendly to the movie’ situations. The directors, producers, family and friends of the film all in attendence. As a result you can expect to feel ‘more love’ than usual in the house.

But the main thing is... you are watching the film with only your own impressions and not the communal experience of watching the film with a regular audience.

Now, I still think this is a good Arnold film, but frankly... I’ve got a feeling that it is going to have a major second week plunge.

The film has it’s problems. There’s a couple of lines that Arnold delivers poorly, mainly the, “You’re a choirboy next to me!” one. The visage of satan as created by Stan Winston sucks, albeit this is only on screen for under 25 seconds or so... thankfully. And a bit of a GHOST moment that I could have done without, BUT... that’s about it for me.

The rest of it, I really get one hell of kick out of. And throughout most of it, the audience did too. By the time the film ended, there was a scattering of about a half dozen people clapping, then stopping when the audience didn’t join in. Followed by a very loud “BOO” from one person. And another saying, “THAT’S THE WORST FUCKING MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN!” This person has perhaps seen 10 movies I suppose.

I decided to play quiet mouse boy and listen to what people were saying. The main negatives that I was hearing wasn’t about cinematography or editing or performances or writing or any of that.

It had to do with making the Catholic Church out to be saviors. It had to do with the religious doctrine in the movie. All of the ‘mumbo-jumbo’.

I heard one person say, “When are they going to stop shoving this religious shit down our throats, nobody believes this crap anymore.”

The friends I had sitting on either side of me conceded that it was a good Arnold film, but then asked me how I could swallow that religious shit.

Hmmm....

I looked at them. And then said, “Did you hate RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK because of the heavy religious ending? How about INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM, does the portrayal of faith in Shiva disturb you? How about JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS? Does the depiction of Mt Olympus with Zeus and Hera and Hermes disturb and make the film unwatchable?”

There was a cross look on their face followed by, “But that’s mythology.”

Ahem. Folks... I’m not a deeply religious man. I haven’t been back to church since the service for my mother. Not because I’m angry, not because God ‘screwed me’. Not because I had doubts in faith or anything along those lines. I stopped going because I needed to get my life in order and felt the need to concentrate my energies in the direction I was taking in life.

Do I believe Moses parted the Red Sea? Can’t say, wasn’t there... didn’t see it. That pillar of salt thing... once again... wasn’t around. Walking on water? Wasn’t there... didn’t see it. I also didn’t see Jason fighting the Hydra or Perseus beheading Medusa. Does it mean they didn’t happen? I can’t say.

But someone wrote about it. When it comes to religious matters in film, I gather it in as I do all dramatic filmmaking. It’s all bullshit. Rick did not let Ilsa on the plane with that dude. There was no plane. Scarlet never had another day, at least not on film, that crappy mini-series never existed in my eyes. Even the stuff based on TRUE STORIES documented in HISTORY. If it’s film... I accept the fact that it is not reality.

I don’t believe it was Peter Hyams or Arnold’s or Andrew Marlowe’s intention to convert their audience into a fleet of Catholics. I think they set out to tell a story using elements of the ‘Satan mythology’ to create an action filled story to make some good money and entertain an audience.

So.... I give them that. Ok... for this two hours... Satan exists. He has to boink this girl in the last hour of the last day of 1999 and it has to be East Coast Time apparently due to some Gregorian Monks back at the dawn of these visions. Ok... I can give the filmmakers that much.

Just like, I can give Paul Verhoeven the ability to let Arnold’s eyes bulge out of their sockets on the surface of Mars while an ancient alien air-making technology creates a perfect human oxygen-rich environment that allows his eyes to re-enter his head with apparently no adverse physiological reactions to him.

I can also give James Cameron the room to let Arnold be a robot that somehow has organic living tissue surrounding a metal endo-skeleton thereby allowing it to be transported back through time to kill a waitress who may one day give birth to a punk kid that might grow up to lead a post-apocaliptic revolt that might very well give the human race a chance at living again.

All three of these things are... NOT BELIEVABLE to a sensible person... BUT... for the sake of having a good time in the theater... I allow it.

I never need a filmmaker to explain why Arnold has an accent and nobody in the film ever makes exception of it or makes fun of it... or asks him what the hell he just said. It’s ok... I think... Of course they know what he said, they’ve read the script. They know his lines.

This isn’t Arnold’s best film. It isn’t my favorite Peter Hyams film. But it is, for me at least, a good movie with significantly less problems for me than I had with THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH.

If you hate THE EXORCIST, STIGMATA, THE OMEN, ROSEMARY’S BABY, etc... because you really dislike all that ‘religious bullshit.’ If you feel Arnold Schwarzenegger is the worst actor ever created and a complete waste of your time, then perhaps you ought to see TOY STORY 2 or SLEEPY HOLLOW this Thanksgiving.

But... if you can put that behind you... Accept the basic premise of the film... well then you might very well enjoy yourself.

I find it amazing the vigor with which folks that are anti-religious take films like this. My one friend sitting next to me said, “Yeah, but what really scares me is all the people out there that will take this film and what it says seriously.”

AHEM...

Excuse me, but if you believe anyone is going to take this film SERIOUSLY and believe that this New Year’s Eve there exists an 18 year old virgin in New York that Satan’s got to fuck in order to rule the world, then... take a chill pill dude. I am willing to go out on a limb here and say that there will may be only 2 people in the entire world that will see this movie prior to the year 2000 that might actually believe this as being true, and both are out-patients of some rehab clinic somewhere. There is a disclaimer at the end of the film. It does say that none of this is true.

That means... Satan’s not true. Catholic Church stuff is not true.... and overall this is a work of FICTION. F-I-C-T-I-O-N. Meaning... Not real.

As I’ve said in the past about this film, it’s not as good as CONAN THE BARBARIAN, TERMINATOR 1 & 2, TOTAL RECALL, PREDATOR and TRUE LIES... but it comes in right after those. I prefer it to ERASER, RUNNING MAN, COMMANDO, RAW DEAL, RED HEAT, THE JAYNE MANSFIELD STORY, TWINS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY, JUNIOR, CONAN THE DESTROYER, RED SONJA, etc... Which I guess puts it in between the top and middle thirds of his career.

Some of you might hate this one, and I’m sure to be knocked around by some in TALK BACK pretty fiercely. But... What the hell, who wants to live forever?