I am – Hercules!!
A gorgeous 29-year-old actress named Whit Anderson ("Yes Man") has been hired to pen a new big-screen version of “Buffy The Vampire Slayer.”
She counts herself among the legion of fans who loved the TV series, which premiered on The WB when she was 16.
61-year-old Charles Roven, who was 48 when the TV series premiered and is producing the new big-screen “Buffy,” offers via press release:
“While this is not your high-school Buffy, she’ll be just as witty, tough and sexy as we all remember her to be.”
If somebody told me Roven does not who Willow Rosenberg is, I believe I could contain my shock.
The new movie will be a reboot and is not expected to acknowledge the existence of Giles, Willow, Xander, Spike, Angel, Oz, Cordelia, Anya or any of the other characters created for the TV series.
No director is yet attached.
“Buffy” creator/mastermind Joss Whedon, busy now scripting the very expensive “Avengers” movie he’ll direct, will have nothing to do with the new "Buffy."
The hiring of Anderson, who appears to have penned no prior produced screenplays for film or television, suggests this is a cash-grab designed to exploit in the “Twilight” era a highly recognizable teen-falls-for-vampire franchise. No one’s reaching out to expensive writers like Aaron Sorkin or Diablo Cody or even Jason Katims or Josh Schwartz.
(On this teen-falls-for-vampire point, I feel compelled to point out I don't remember Buffy willingly kissing a vampire in the 1992 movie -- as she did many times in the TV series -- but I think we can count on plenty of undead saliva getting swapped in any post-"Twilght" "Buffy.")
Warner Bros. licensed the rights from “creators” Fran and Kaz Kuzui, and from Sandollar Productions (the company overseen by Sandy Gallin and Dolly Parton that produced the 1992 movie), according to the press release.
Regarding this “creators” business. The Kuzuis secured rights to “Buffy” when they produced the mediocre 1992 Kristy Swanson-Luke Perry movie. Though Whedon created the character of Buffy Summers and wrote the Swanson screenplay, it was Fran Kuzui who did such a poor job directing the ’92 version.
The Kuzuis licensed the Buffy Summers character to Fox and Whedon for the far superior TV series, and received executive producers’ credits for their trouble, but had no active roles in the creation of the series.
“Buffy” fans have been craving a movie for more than a decade. Given youngsters’ insatiable lust for young-adult vampire stories of any stripe, I suspect something called “Buffy” will find its way to the big screen. It may even be good. But without Whedon working the script, it won’t be Buffy.
Asked for his reaction, Whedon dashed off an email to E!'s Kristin Dos Santos:
Kristin, I'm glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film. This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.
Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?
I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.
Leave me to my pain! Sincerely, Joss Whedon.
Press release (issued Nov. 22; the date is likely a typo):
FOR IMMEDIATE TELEASE
WARNER BROS. PICTURES SHOWS ITS FANGS WITH A “BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER” REBOOT
LOS ANGELES, NOVEMBER 11, 2010 – Atlas Entertainment announced today it is rebooting the beloved franchise, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with Warner Bros. Pictures. Atlas’ Charles Roven and Steve Alexander will produce the feature film alongside Doug Davison and Roy Lee of Vertigo Entertainment (The Ring, How to Train Your Dragon, The Departed). Whit Anderson is writing the script.
Warner Bros. Pictures optioned the rights from creators Fran and Kaz Kuzui, and from Sandollar Productions (Sandy Gallin and Dolly Parton), for Atlas and Vertigo to produce. Buffy the Vampire Slayer first appeared as a film in 1992, subsequently becoming a cult hit and spawning the wildly popular television series starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz, among many others.
“Whit approached us with an exciting idea about how to update Buffy,” said Roven. “There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character’s return to the big screen. We’re thrilled to team up with Doug and Roy on a re-imagining of Buffy and the world she inhabits. Details of the film are being kept under wraps, but I can say while this is not your high school Buffy, she’ll be just as witty, tough, and sexy as we all remember her to be.”
Whit Anderson is represented by CAA, Wirehouse Entertainment and Julian Zajfen at Ziffren, Brittenham, Branca, Fischer, Gilbert-Lurie & Stifflemen
Find the Los Angeles Times’ story on Whit Anderson here.
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