THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH review
Published at: Nov. 20, 1999, 2:43 a.m. CST by headgeek
I’m probably going to take some shit for this, but
frankly... I didn’t really care that much for THE
WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH.
This is going to be a review with some spoilers and
plot points because... well I need to discuss them to
get right into why I didn’t care too much for the film.
First off... The opening action sequence is just
fantastic. It’s longer than usual, but it’s really
something. It does everything that a Bond action
sequence is supposed to. It goes a billion miles an
hour faster than it’s supposed to. The gimmick stuff
is cool as hell. The ridiculous, no human could do
that, stuff rocks. It’s propulsive. Kills lots of people,
wrecks lots of property, sexist remarks and it gets
your blood pumping.
It’s a shame that it never gets any better.
This is the ‘SAVING PRIVATE RYAN-Syndrome’
as a friend of mine calls it. For me, it’s
‘Rocketeer-Syndrome’. Whatever you call it, it’s that
case where the single most thrilling action bit is your
first one. In SPR, it’s that dang amazing Normandy
invasion. In Rocketeer, it’s that first time we see our
hero strapping into the rocketpack to save his biplane
clown buddy.
Remember, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK? Of
course you do, who do I think I’m writing to?
Sheesh. Well, that opening scene held the possible
danger of being... THE BEST THING IN THE
MOVIE. But... Due to the brilliance of all involved
in that movie, each action scene increased... pushed
the throttle in a little further, till you have that
brilliant ‘trucks scene’. And for the ending... well...
It’s the Wrath Of Friggin GOD!!!
Alright.... ok, I hear ya.... That’s the Indiana Jones
formula.... not BOND.
Wrong.
GOLDFINGER.... Really great opening... continual
build ups.... Gigantic FORT KNOX ending.
THUNDERBALL... Great opening.... Continual
Build Ups.... Gigantic Underwater Battle!
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE... Bond friggin DIES in
the opening... It gets more dangerous.... and then we
have a gigantic battle in the center of a dead Volcano
with Rockets blasting off etc...
I could go on and on.... and on...
But let’s take a look at the modern BOND film.
Apparently, Bond never stays in contact with
ANYONE! Gone are all his emergency beacons in
the heel of his shoes. He never forms strategic
alliances with anyone. Now he’s just horny and
points guns and shoots and adds little quips.
Don’t get me wrong... THE WORLD IS NOT
ENOUGH is an ok action film, but for me.... In my
opinion it’s a piss poor Bond movie.
Brosnan is trying way too hard to make Bond
emotional.... He stands there shaking like a school
boy flustered by the brat. Why did Bond wait 2
seconds to just not blow Robert Carlyle away? His
mission was to protect Elektra and find Renard, and
finish the job that his prior 00-agent didn’t finish.
Renard could have the SECRETS OF THE
UNIVERSE, but Bond is supposed to kill him...
period. Those guys in the background... those are bad
guy Red Shirts.... Bond knows that. You cut off
Renard’s head, they lose their nerve.... or..... you just
fucking kill them.
Alright, convenient plot point... Movie would have
been too short at that point to kill Renard. Perhaps
his shoulder was merely spasming. Whatever...
Bond hesitating to kill a broad he banged? I’m sorry,
soon as he knew what she was up to, she’s dead
weight in his mind. Bond is ruthless. This isn’t Doc
Savage... he’s not going to perform a lobotomy on her
to ‘fix’ her. This is JAMES BOND, LICENSE TO
KILL.
Alright... Then... let’s look at Renard... He’s great. I
love his character, his back story... what he’s capable
of, his angst about living with out sensations... It’s a
great character. They didn’t turn him into a cartoon
super-villain. Michael Apted did a great job with
Robert Carlyle, who let’s face it... is just one of the
coolest actors on the planet today... BUT... He’s just
not in it enough. It would be like giving Goldfinger,
Oddjob’s screentime.
Both Sophie Marceau and Denise Richards friggin
suck the big one in this movie. Sophie’s “I’m so
fuckable and adorable no man could kill me, I’m the
most fabulous object in the universe and on top of
that I’ll cut my right earlobe off, just so I have a
zen-esque flaw to my perfect beauty” character just
made me want to retch.
Sean Connery’s Bond would have fucked her, and
killed her the second he felt she turned.... and he
never would have trusted her.
George Lazenby’s Bond would have fucked her, and
killed her by ripping out her throat while in the chair.
Roger Moore’s Bond would have fucked her, noticed
that the parachute dudes were never firing at her, then
pushed her off the cliff.... while saying something
like, “Bottoms up”
Timothy Dalton’s Bond would have slapped her silly,
fucked her and would have left her crying for more.
Where the hell did Bond develop this, sap? He ain’t
no tree! This isn’t Diana Rigg, this is some
self-important high society twit with a severe lack of
fire and adventure... the two elements that Bond is
most attracted to.
Ok... Now Denise ‘Rocket Scientist’ Richards.
First off I’m not going to make fun of her being a
Nuclear Physicist. My problem is this.... SHE IS A
TERRIBLE ACTRESS! The great Bond women of
all time were not BIMBO VACANT EYED WET
DREAMS. They were sex kittens as deadly as Bond.
Bond doesn’t need some chick to defuse a Nuclear
Bomb... He’s done this BEFORE! He’s trained for
this type of thing... and if he isn’t he sure as hell will
simply whip out his knife... be in a state of panic
whilst trying to figure out which wire to cut, and it
will... inevitably be when the counter (there’s always
a counter) reaches 0:07. Or... if it says 0:06, Bond
could always say, “Damn... Missed it,” and smile.
Another thing that really pisses me off about the
modern Bond movie is the total lack of indigenous
cultures. I miss the Bond that would get captured by
the rebels, only to realize that the rebels in this region
are actually the good guys... He’d train with them...
screw a couple of their babes... then launch the
gigantic attack at the end.
Now I know, this sounds like I’m crying for the old
formula... BUT FOLKS.... That formula hasn’t been
done right since Connery left. Right now... for the
last TWENTY YEARS... the Bond franchise has
been suffering from STAR TREK SYNDROME.
A scaling back of the action scenes... Tired
self-caricature... and actors that seem to be bored
with the work they are doing. Pierce looked a bit
bored in this Bond.
Remember in LAST CRUSADE, when Indy and the
hot Nazi babe are in the sewers... there’s the drawing
of the Ark on the wall, the little bit of dialogue there
to confirm that... yes.... This character is the same
character from the previous movies?
Well.... Other than Q, there seems to be no memory
to the franchise. Remember that scene in, I believe
it’s ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE,
where Lazenby is looking at past momentos of the
previous films and there is a touch of the themes from
each?
The Brosnan Bond has no memory, no history...
When he’s asked if he’s ever lost someone he loves...
You can tell he doesn’t remember Diana Rigg. Ok...
he’s hiding his emotions from her... let him hug her,
but let’s see his eyes and hear an echo of ‘We’ve got
alllllll.... the tiiiiiime.... in the worrrrllllld’ in the
soundtrack. Just a touch... Not a sledgehammer of it.
Just a bit.
Also, when Bond goes to all these different areas
now... there never seems to be any undercover spies
already there for him to hook up with.
When Bond realizes that the 4 other pipelines are
going to be blown up... He should split up with the
blow-up spunk toy, sending her off to contact “THE
FOLLOWING NAMES AND NUMBERS”
One: This gets rid of Denise Richards, who even in a
wet t-shirt... they manage to de-nipple-fy her.... is
just lame.
Two: Heightens the tension of whether or not the
cavalry will ever come. They will, but only at the last
possible moment.
Three: It allows Bond to not have to play wet-nurse
to a mannequin.
Also... hasn’t Bond been to Istanbul before? Bond
knows a lot of people. Couldn’t he just hook up with
some folks... Get some insulation.
Having the end fight take place in a tiny cramped
space, with nearly no extras... no impossible odds...
As for BOND having the sub dive instead of surface
when what he wanted to have happen was to be
surfacing... Excuse me... but isn’t Bond a NAVAL
type of guy? Huh?
This is an ‘OK’ Bond movie. One of those... that
works and doesn’t work. Carlyle and M and Cleese
and Q and even Brosnan are all good enough to make
it entertaining in the way the lessor Bonds are always
entertaining.
Hell... I’ll even buy the bastard on DVD when it
comes out. BUT DAMMIT!!!
These movies can be a whole helluvalot cooler than
they are being. Yeah... I know... I’m being overly
sensitive to this, but I friggin am a HUGE BOND
GEEK and both Bond and Brosnan deserve better
scenarios... direction and co-stars.
Get someone like Michelle Pfieffer to put opposite
Bond. Brosnan has stated that he wants to make an R
rated Bond... that he wants to step it up. That he
eventually wants to die on camera as Bond.
However, I get the idea that the Broccoli family and
MGM are playing it safe. Let’s face it, MGM is in a
world of shit in terms of film production. Any studio
that can cut a bad trailer with jarringly bad music for
a film that has the beautiful look that SUPERNOVA
has (I’m not arguing that it’s a good movie, only that
it has some beautiful shots in it against a terrible rock
track) some major issues to deal with.
I wish BOND was with another studio.... with
Brosnan attached. As it is, this movie was not enough
for me.