Folks... Harry here. First off, I must say.... El Cosmico.... and millions of other acid heads and mushroom snorters are the true audience of POKEMON. As you read the below statement... rendered from the subconcious ID of El Cosmico... realize that at this moment. As you read this... He is sitting cross-legged upon a mountain top in Nepal communicating this religious experience to his very anus while floating above the peaks point ready to plunge repeatedly upon said anus upon said peak whilst screaming "PIKACHU!!! PIKACHU!!! PIKACHU!!!" I can not say whether or not he will ever update COAXIAL again.... thank your stars he did so repeatedly yesterday... for now... he has joined the Jim Pokemon Jones Kool-Aid cult... Put your flags at half mast... for Warner Brothers got El Cosmico's MONEY!!! And they ain't giving it back!
That's right, you bastards, I'm gonna review Pokemon. I actually went to see this thing, at the behest of a friend, and JESUS, that was one hell of a movie.I really don't have any idea where to start. This thing is really two movies in one. The first part is a short called "Pikachu's Vacation", and the second, main feature is called something like "Pokemon: The First Movie". I...I....can barely think of the incident without running around in circles, screaming. Where am I? What can I do? I need more tea.
Okay, the second half, the main feature, wasn't really all THAT strange. Okay, maybe it was just weird as FUCK, but at the time, it seemed like a return to the normal world. Pretty much a hard-core episode of Pokemon. Same sort of stuff, same characters...doesn't REALLY make any sense, but what the hell, it wasn't too bad. It had some definite moments of entertainment...I think. The fact is, I don't really remember too much about the second part...the MAIN part of the movie. WHY??? BECAUSE MY MIND WAS TOTALLY FUCKED BY "PIKACHU'S VACATION"!!!!!!!
Seldom does my dread master Xochipilli reveal itself to the masses in such a widespread fashion. There is a very good reason why. SUCH VISIONS OF MADNESS ARE A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE DANGER TO THE UNTRAINED MIND! Did I enjoy "Pikachu's Vacation"? Oh yes. I relished it. I couldn't get enough. I became one with Pikachu. It was one of the most intense life experiences I've had in a good long time...the kind of intensity that you want more and more of, yet at the same time, you are desperate, DESPERATE for it to end. Some of my friends have recommended taking hallucinogens before watching this feature, and there's really no doubt in my mind that the DVD is going to make the top-ten list of a lot of acid and mushroom-heads, but folks, I can say with great authority that you will not require any such assistance to obtain a suitable level of madness. This is quite simply one of the most extreme sensory assaults on the human mind that has EVER been unleashed.
"Pikachu's Vacation" acted on a part of my brain at the very core...below consciousness, on that level of mind-state that creates one's self. It made me feel things and think things that I probably haven't felt since I was a FETUS. I wish this was an exaggeration, but it isn't. It really isn't. There isn't a good way for me to describe the characters or the story of the short film itself, this thing, this beautiful monstrosity, must simply be experienced. Do I recommend it? Yes, but by all means, CLEANSE YOUR SOUL BEFORE YOU ENTER. To do otherwise will invite the demon who makes trophies of men.
Hasta El Pikachu,
El Cosmico
