Holy Mother of God; long time agent/writer Trailer Man has morphed into none other than Feature Presentation Man and has chosen END OF DAYS, one Hell of a kick ass film, as his inaugural report.
Well, FATHER GEEK just saw DOGMA tonight, a very simular motion picture as regards subject matter presented in a totally different light. Tongue-in-cheek humor vs. Hell-fire and brimstone action. Smith's effort was amusing, fun, loads-of-laffs entertainment, buuut I got to tell you, Father Geek prefers his "End of All Existense" flicks as balls-to-the-wall rock'em back to the stoneage no-holds-barred action-adventure-horror-fantasies, not as light comedy. And I tell you, Peter Hyams' movie delivers the thrills in a big big way...Now to the king of our 90 second analysts turned 90 minute critic...
It's time for FEATURE PRESENTATION MAN, and a look at (okay I know you saw this flick a while back, mine was a totally finished print so there).
Hey His Geek-Holiest, I bring you the last rites of the Patron Saint of Merciless Action, Mayhem, and Carnage, none other than our beloved brother, Saint Ahnuld. Bear witness to his self sacrificing devotion to this leper-riddled plot of the Devil himself, walking (generally unnoticed) the streets of New York City searching for the chosen young woman, born twenty years prior under his malignant sleight of hand and raised by desciples of Lucifer, his own minions, after what had to be a prompt removal of baby's parental units. Her name (actress Robin Tunney) is Christine York (GET IT! CHRIST IN NEW YORK one marvels at the subtlety). Oh, and Ahnuld's name is 'Jerichoe'...........and he must stop the Devil from impregnating Christine before 12:00 midnight that marks the new millenium which of course as we all know is 2001 but nevermind.
Okay, I will henceforth cease with the cynicism and trite sentences. Look, admittedly everyone, ( I must say,acting by all major players better than expected) above and below line give it their all in this occult thriller.
Director Peter Hyams delivers a muscular production at breakneck speed aided immeasurably by top notch lensing especially the aerials of NYC and atmospheric contrasts in darkness and light complimented at times to perfection by an ace team of editors who know quick, visceral cuts.
Score is just okay...could have used Eric Serra big time. Possibly a blessing this all-thrusters-on pacing that it effectively crams situations or plot contrivances that leave little time for "Wait a minute!" evaluations of plausibilty while in the theatre. And indeed there are spectacular set pieces, the ending an impressive ground shaking apocalypse climaxing in a visual/effects corker that in the hands of anybody else but Stan Winston would have gone to hell in a handbasket.
Combine all of the above, and know, you heard it here first, aside from his two definitive roles as The Terminator and his Seargent Rock-like performance in PREDATOR, Mr. Schwarzenegger acquits himself admirably and gives one of his best and articulated performances. Yes another tortured, driven-to-drink AND suicidal, special forces cop despondant beyond all imaginings over the loss of his family (please I am not discounting that such a personal tragedy is the pits, its just, how many times have we seen this starting with two Mel Gibson franchises) and teamed with a likeable, wise-cracking partner, (Kevin Pollack). Of course these guys are the only two really on the case in spite of city-wide explosions and Satanic murders..
Gabriel Byrne is the perfect New York City Devil in-disguise, a demonic Gordon Gekko and most convincing in his complete and total annihilation of innocents, often times by ghastly means all the while trying his damndest to locate his incubator bride,Christine.- which considering how much of the movie is spent on SATAN/Gabriel Byrne (note irony) looking for her... DID HE NOT ARRANGE HER BIRTH AND AFFLUENT UPBRINGING? MAKE A PHONE CALL ALREADY TO YOUR DEVOTED FLOCK.
SPOILERS sort of SPOILERS ahead:
The story folds in at films beginning, the Vatican's involvement since a celestial sign warns a wary Cardinal of what is to happen developing into a hairpulling subplot of a secret, renegade squad of Vatican hit men, not out to undermine Satan, but to off the girl since, understandably she is less likely to crucify them to a ceiling, set them afire in an agony of death, impale, evisecerate or rip their hearts out with enough time to see it beating, by stabbing her in the heart.. This is not a plan of action sanctioned by His Holiness (an actor who I swear watched THE GODFATHER too many times by crossing Don Corleone with Luca Brazzi) and he tries to no avail to convince that by faith alone is the strength to keep Christine from harms way thus conquering Satan.
Faith ultimately is the true message of the film and with that, sacrifice and redemption wrap up this film in a truly spectacular juggernaut of supernatural powers laying waste a nice neighborhood cathedral as millions celebrate in Times Square in the hopes Arnold gets the scripts he deserves in the coming thousand years.
amen
