The State Of Harry....

Hey folks, Harry here and man... Wooooooeeeeeeee.... This is the first time I've been in Los Angeles for any sort of real life business business. As was revealed last week, I'm in the wonderful world of Television development. Something that... well, I feel should be fun to take you through. I have done about a dozen or so pitches, and each has ended with the other person laughing, smiling and looking my co-producers in the eye and saying a variation on "Let's Do This, this is great."

I was prepared to be slapped around quite a bit, but it seems that there is a strange wierdness that causes happy faces. Are they real? Is it going as good as it seems to be going? Heh... Well, this is the land of illusion and I am an amateur in this... but... when people are talking about how they could move this there and that there, and it'd go right here... It seems they are seriously thinking about it.

Who have I met with? Name a network or tv production company... yeah. I really can't adequately explain the surreal nature of going into a room and having to give the exact same information to a person that stares at you stonefaced, then through sheer energy breaking that down to happy faces and nodding heads. It's a very interesting game.

It's very much like selling movie posters and collectibles. You walk up to a person you have never met. You know they want something, otherwise they wouldn't be there. You know your stock better than anyone in the world, so you begin the conversation... during which you see what type of watch they have, what do the have in that bag over there, what type of movies they like or dislike, what's their age.... what was their favorite children's program as a kid. What did their parents raise them like.... Do they have a weird fetish? Then, you have to boil that information, swirl it around in your head and begin the directional push to get them to bite. At Collector's Shows I'd have to do this for... 9 to 5... but out here the meetings begin at 6am and end at 6pm.

Here it's what's in their office? Posters, autographs, family photos... what characters are on their kids' t-shirts, what scripts are in the cabinet, look... CLERKS comics! Hooray... a geek! Have they read the site, did they see me on Ebert? Did I suck? Hmmmm....

I've actually had a lot of fun doing this because it's challenging to make each pitch completely different for me, but still giving all the information over to the other person.

You know... It's even closer to doing Political Activism Door To Door.... I've done that before for about 6 months. It was when I was in the process of dropping from 500 pounds to 300 pounds (which I did). The goal was to get some sort of yes constantly. Could you get me a glass of water? Isn't this a fine day? You find me sexy right? Sure fire "YES" questions, intermingled with informative fear tactics about the evil critters living in your water. (CLEAN WATER ACTION) So...

At this point there is one last meeting, then the mad dash to the airport. Sigh... I can not wait to sleep. It's been 3 days of 3 hours a day sleep. I've seen SLEEPY HOLLOW and the final print of END OF DAYS... Saw some BAD ASS images from John Carpenter's GHOSTS OF MARS.

I've spent wonderful quality time with John Robie, Segue Zagnut, Moriarty, Joe Hallenbeck and... the jaw-droppingly drool inducing megababe, Lynn Bracken.. pant pant pant pant...

Joe? Well, Like I've been telling alot of you folks... His heart has grown two sizes too big. The man is clean off the bottle. He wheres different pairs of underwear everyday. Water has now touched his skin. He has Rogaine hair!!! Hell... While driving down Sunset... he'll suddenly stop for an old lady to cross the street. MY GOD!!! HE IS A POD BOY!

Folks... I can't wait to get back to my bedroom back in Austin. The portable has been having problems out it's left port. I miss my email, my telephone, the wet slippery skin of Annette Kellerman, the straw haired Tom Joad, the eager embrace of El Cosmico, the spurting fury of Johnny Wad, the sparklingly pine-sol fresh Robogeek, the out of space Copernicus, the beached carcass of Quint, the amazing true stories of the adventures of Austin.

But... Most of all, I miss my home keyboard and typing set up. Well... I'm going to see if I can type up a couple of reviews before this last meeting... 'Don't count on it though... I still have to pack up to go home. Sigh... Till I get to my kickass computer at home....

Harry