Poor, poor Quint! Father Geek remembers well what it was like to be the teenage older brother who had to endure movies aimed at a group 10 years younger. In my case it was taking my kid sister to see GIDGET flicks, and TAMMY films, and KISS'N COUSINS, and THE FLYING NUN. GOD, I thought they would never end. All I wanted to see was the latest HAMMER horror installment, or Harryhausen's newest fantasy magic, or those early Connery BONDS, or Hitchcock's most recent thriller. Buuuut NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
My dear old mom would put it to me quite simply. "Do you want to use the car? Then take your sister and her friends to see their movies first!" It was the era of single screen theaters, I couldn't retreat with my buds to my choice on screen #14. It was miles to another movie and I was way tooooo responcible to abandon my impish lil sis. Besides, She'd let the cat out of the bag if I did and there'd be no Drive-In Saturday Night for big brother. Sooooo I endured, and endured, and endured, and gained a broader film prospective in the process. Of course I didn't come to realize that for some time. Years! All I knew at the moment was that me and my friends had been blackmailed into going to some lame pre-pubescent girlie mush. How embarrassing. "We'll park in another lot so the car won't be seen." I survived! And that training ground of tears and poodle skirts, of giggles and ponytails forged the film lover that is Father Geek today. I'll give any genre a chance and my list of favorite flicks covers the entire spectrum of the motion picture arts. Good work, Quint... That which doesn't Kill you only makes you stronger.
Hey there Constant Readers. Everybody's favorite resident crusty seaman here once more, this time with a review of Pokemon: The Movie.
Where do I stand on this Pokemon craze? I have an 8 year old brother who is more than swept up in the craze and thus I know way too much about this shit than I should. I just about cried when I saw this movie and I realized I knew who Mew and Pikachu and Blastoise and Psyduck and Charizard and Magicarp and Bulbasaur were. Not only that, but I knew that Squirtle evolves to Wartortle and then to Blastoise. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
But, at least it's better than knowing all the words to the Power Ranger theme song. I was very confused on how to handle this with my little brother. Every time I think of trying to break him of it I think, "What if somebody had tried to break me of He-Man? Or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?" The obvious answer to me is: But He-Man was cool. Ninja Turtles was cool. But he says the same thing now: But Pokemon is cool! Arrgggg.
So, basically this review is coming from the perspective that most people who read this site will have, an older sibling/parent dragged to see the movie. So, this really shouldn't be something you look at to decide whether or not to see this movie, because chances are you don't have a choice in the matter, but rather of what you could expect from it.
It starts off with a "short" which is just basically an episode of the show that just plain blew. I mean, I tried to give a little when watching it, but it is literally worse than any of the Pokemon videos that I've been forced to watch. But the kids loved it. I didn't. I just keep seeing the "influences," also known as RIP-OFFS. This little short rips off everything from Road Runner and Coyote to Winnie the Pooh. It didn't really bug me to see these things, but what it did do was make me realize how Road Runner and even Winnie the Pooh did it so much better, which just showed me how bad the cartoon was. But the kids loved it.
The movie itself was actually much better than I thought it would be, but that's not saying too much. I liked the fact that it had a more serious tone than the show, but I also think that that will alienate some of the kid fans.
Even though I didn't meet one child after the movie that didn't love it, a friend of my brother said, "It was weird." It actually opens up with a Pokemon questioning where he came from. "What am I doing here?" , etc., etc. It actually reminded me of the very first Christmas episode of South Park where they bring in Philip Glass to write the non-denominational, non-offensive Christmas play. "As I look into the sun, the rays burn my eyes (Happy, happy, happy)." :) You know, it was just way too out there for the kids and for the adults, it was just something to laugh at because you know you're watching the friggin' Pokemon movie, fer crissakes! I mean, it's the Pokemon movie, not some Victorian age costume drama. It just was really out of place and laughable. But most of the kids loved it.
What I did like about the movie though was, for some reason I can't explain, I actually got into the characters and the situations. I didn't necessarily like the character or how they were portrayed, but nevertheless I was interested in seeing what happened next. So, there is hope for you unfortunate parents out there. It's not complete crap, like the Power Ranger films. You might actually enjoy yourself... well, maybe that was too strong a statement... You might actually not want to kill yourself during the movie. And the kids will love it.
Another plus to the film is the great moral it gives. Although it is the same moral that's in just about every episode of the show that I've seen, it's nevertheless a strong message and that is the futility of fighting. Even though War Games does it better, at least the kids get it in their brains. Of course I don't know how much good it'll do, an anti-fighting moral in a movie that I've heard described as "Fight Club for kids." All right, so the moral is good, but good goddamn if they don't rub your face in it. The biggest bone I have to pick with the movie (besides from that awful and overused cloning plotline) is the rubbing of the face in the moral. Fighting is bad, mmkay. Every damn character relays the moral of the film over and over and over again, until it's the next character's turn to grind your face in it. I mean, how many different ways can you say "Fighting is bad" is 7 minutes with 31 different characters? But the kids loved it.
Even though you might not love Pokemon, I strongly suggest that if your kid or little brother or little sister or nephew/niece/"special"cousin is going to see it that you go with them. Partake in what your kids/relatives enjoy, become an active persona in their lives. I can see already that most parents (the same ones that won't know what to do if the movie industry comes to their senses and tells Valenti and his gang to make sure the door doesn't hit their ass on the way out) will just drop their kids off at the mall and go home and watch the Price is Right. It is a kids film, unlike Iron Giant which was a film for everybody, but it's not one that's impossible to sit through. As a matter of fact, I didn't squirm or even check my watch during the movie, but that could just be because the movie is pretty damn short. Overall, it's not Willy Wonka or Iron Giant or Pinocchio or even The Borrowers, but at least it's not Power Rangers. Oh, yeah. And the kids'll love it.
I got passes for The Messenger and Dogma screenings next week. If I can, I'll write up those two for you guys. Until then.
-Quint
aicnquint@hotmail.com
