That evil wannabe known as the Huntsman didn't bring me Snow White's heart in a box like my girlfriend asked him, but he did bring back a report from the World Premiere of Chow Yun-Fat's REPLACEMENT KILLERS. This is his review of the event. Now to answer one of his questions. "I'm everywhere, ain't I? Amazing what you can do with Astral Projection!!!"
Huntsman here, back at University of Chicago after the world premiere of Chow Yun-Fat's "Replacement Killers." Now, first things first. Ever get a wierd idea that you were as dumb as a rock? Yes? Well, get this one. Who do I see in the audience 30 minutes before the start of the show but a 350 lb. guy with red hair and a red beard? Must be Harry, right? Well, I dunno. Seems like a certain spy named Huntsman didn't have the balls (HARRY NOTE: I call em CAJONES) to go up before the show to ask this Harry look-alike if he was the real Harry Knowles or merely a wannabe. I was going to go up to him and say howdy after the film but he got away before I could. (HARRY NOTE: Geez, those 350 lb. redheaded fat people are fast) Note to self: whenever a 350 lb. red haired dude attends the world premiere of a cool movie, HAVE THE FRIGGING SENSE TO ASSUME IT'S HARRY. Thing is, it very well may not have been him, but just a fat guy with red hair that looks just like the photos of Harry all over his page. Well, that would be really fucking odd if that were the case, wouldn't it? Oh well. At least I was able to recognize Chow Yun Fat when he appeared in person to take questions and just generally to ooze charisma for an audience of fans (Mayor Daley proclaimed Jan. 12 "Chow Yun Fat Day" for all of Chicago. Go figure).
"Replacement Killers" opens nationwide on February 6, and is directed by Antoine Fuqua. This is Chow Yun Fat's first movie made for US audiences. Like John Woo's "Broken Arrow," however, this isn't automatically a plus. I noticed myself becoming restless at what seemed a little too much adherence to the type of formulatic plotline shared by many mediocre US action movies. You know what I mean: man in trouble with gangsters, girl sucked into action against her will, the awakening of pseudo-sexual tension between the main hero and his reluctant female companion/captive caused by being shot at unceasingly. The only problem is that I have the nagging sense I've seen this movie before. Many, many times before. Just once I'd like the female companion to die a grizzly death (like in the Dirty Harry film "The Enforcers") or to develop no sense of personal attachment to the hero ("Well, thanks for killing the bad guys. I'll call you... Really...). Or the hero and the bad guy to reconsile and head for Tahiti together to escape the feds. Oh well, geeks can fantasize, can't they? "Replacement Killers," perhaps because it is feeling out the US audience and trying to break out of the Chow Yun Fat fan enclave into mainstream cinema, disappoints by being maddingly predictable.
Which isn't to say I didn't enjoy the film. Chow Yun Fat did a marvelous job in the many gunfight scenes which fortunately punctuated an otherwise flimsy plot. Get a load of all the cool automatic weapons fire and Chow Yun Fat's patented double-handed .45 technique (paid tribute to, incidently, by Samuel Jackson at the beginning of "Jackie Brown") If you've never seen a Chow Yun Fat film before, watch this one when it comes out in a month. Then go rent "Hard-Boiled" or "The Killers" and see Chow Yun Fat at his best.
Post script: after the film was a Q&A. Chow Yun Fat deflected most questions with his undeniable charm. But the following tidbits can be reported as bona fide Chow Yun Fat quotes/rumors:
Chow Yun Fat is currently working on a film called "The Corrupter", about, in his words, "a corrupt cop with a warm heart."
When asked if he will work with director John Woo again on a film, Chow's response was "I've been waiting for him to call me."
Who would Chow Yun Fat most like to work with? "Jack Nicholson, Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Steve McQueen." I was nearly the only one to laugh at this one. I guess these people have never seen Bullitt. Chow Yun Fat had the courtesy to apologise to Steve McQueen's ghost.
Well, Harry, fellow geeks, Huntsman signing off.
