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Massawyrm says PREDATORS is the sequel PREDATOR deserves!

Hola all. Massawyrm here. If there’s one thing that can be said about PREDATORS, it is that it is the sequel that the original PREDATOR always deserved. It is faithful, fun, loud and hits every note that you want out of a PREDATOR film. More importantly, it is without a doubt the very best PREDATOR sequel thus made, one that will make you completely forget that the property was nearly buttfucked into oblivion by the unholy pairing of it with the ALIEN series, something that may have worked well in comic books and video games, but not onscreen. It spends the bulk of its time going back to the original formula that worked so well – giving us a group of unquestionable badasses and then having those nearly inhuman ass beaters killed almost indiscriminately by something much bigger and scarier than they are. And if you go into PREDATORS wanting to see that movie, you will not be disappointed. PREDATORS wastes zero time getting to the point. The movie opens with our protagonists dropping through the atmosphere and BAM! We’re in the jungle. The setup from there becomes something of a “locked room” kind of film as a number of strangers wake up, none of them trusting one another, and are forced to work together to figure out what the hell is going on. Loaded to bear with plenty of weapons and ammo, this puts some seriously top shelf mother fuckers up against the baddies we all know and love, and what follows is nearly two hours of running, shooting and pithy dialog. But if PREDATORS has one glaring flaw, it is that it is a great idea that forgets the chief law of horror film sequels. ANY horror sequel needs MORE. More blood, more terror, more fucked up scenarios. Something. You have to escalate the situation or else you are simply remaking the original. And to a certain degree, that is exactly what this is. If you’ve never seen a PREDATOR movie before, this film will no doubt be loaded with surprises; if, however, you have, then PREDATORS has very little to offer in the way of new material or ideas. There are a few very neat new hunting techniques, but on the whole, these are the very same monsters we’ve seen 4 times already, played with or against in a plethora of video games and read about in scads of comic books. If you’re the type of person likely to be tapping their feet, waiting for this to do something new and different, you will be sorely disappointed. What this is, in all actuality, is the wet dream movie so many of us daydreamed about back in 1999 when it was announced that Rodriguez was working on the script for it. And this is very much that film – without the benefit of being the 3rd PREDATOR film. The characters are all great here, but their deaths don’t seem to carry as much weight as they did in the first film nor do they seem as gory. That said, what the film does do, and the few story twists it gives us are all spot on. I personally wanted to see the film go in a different direction in the third act – purely because it was an angle we hadn’t seen before – but was just fine with where the movie wanted to take me. Say what you will, the film is never boring. It is loud, violent, fast paced and worth every minute you devote to it. And when it gets to its kicker of an ending, you get the desire to see the next film immediately – though you simultaneously know you don’t necessarily need to. I really dug this film. It is 100% action, played out with some bad mother fuckers. That’s it. Few real character arcs. No real meat to the story. Nonstop tension and lots of death. If you’re looking for some good old fashioned, R rated, monster movie action fun, this is your film. If you expect more than that, this film has nothing to offer you. It is simple, straight forward and absolutely solid. Awesome summer fun, this is the film that will wash the taste of the AVP series out of your mouth and remind you why you dug this series so much in the first place.
Until next time friends, Massawyrm
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