Once again, that fearless fighter for AICN, in the SHEILD division, is coming up with the scoop. This time it's on the upcoming production of SNOW CRASH!!!!! Cooooooool, that was one hell of a novel, can't imagine them getting it right... well, I can, but it is one hell of a tough shoot!!! Anyway, here's the ex-SGT....
Hi-ho Harry, the leader of the SHIELD directorate reporting in for more duty (that's Nicholas Fury to you infidels who don't know). Sheesh, I sure seem to be getting a lot of time on your web pages recently. Thought I'd drop you some info regarding SNOW CRASH, which is set to be produced by Kennedy- Marshall, the fine folks who brought you TWISTER (of course) amongst many other things.
THE STORY: The lead character is a master computer genius who has engineered an entire, separate computer reality--a cyber-world--and lost control of it due to economic hard times, and a divorce. Now he works as a pizza delivery guy for the mob's pizza company. When he visits his ex in the on-line world, she gets an en-coded message that flashes a snow pattern (the kind you see when you get bad reception on the television) that sends a computer virus program directly into her cerebral cortex, knocking her out. This is called a Snow Crash... When this unseen villain then kidnaps the programmer's ex-wife, he sets out with his sidekick, a sarcastic female skateboarder, to take the bad guys down, and uncover their nefarious plan.
THE SKINNY: The idea is good (never read the sci-fi classic book, so don't know how much this deviates from the source material), the cyber-world could be very cool visually, and some of the elements are nice touches. Problem is, this script has gotten the big budget Hollywood rendition, and in the translation become less intelligent, and more jokey.
How do I know if I never read the book? You can just tell. The material seems fast and loose, and the showdown in the final act at the bad guys hide- out (another good idea--an aircraft carrier bought from a bankrupt American military, and fashioned into its own city-state floating off shore) often feels perfunctory. I'm probably going to sink any buzz about this script by destroying it with the next phrase--after a nice beginning, this script feels like it misses what cyberpunk's all about by making the rest of it very JOHNNY MNEMONIC. Cleverness is sacrificed for the usual Hollywood crap.
Harry, you're probably thinking I'm smoking crack--the chance to see a true virtual world in a Hollywood movie, with richly rendered special effects (people have avatars that are interesting and wild--some people fly around the cyber-planet, other ride balloons or appear to be funny animals), a showdown on an aircraft carrier run by a very Rupert Murdoch-like villain (whose characterization is oh so hollow), and a neat idea of transmuting computer viruses into people's minds. But trust me--if anything, the past few years of Hollywood movie making have shown us that a few cool ideas do not a good movie make. Soon, the script buries any goodwill it generates with its cool ideas by drowning them in familiar cliches. Blah! I'm saving my hard earned box office dollars for a faithful translation of NEUROMANCER, thank you very much.
Until next time, FACE FRONT!
