Alrighty folks, here are two differing opinions on THE BONE COLLECTOR. One positive... one a bit negative. As previous looks on this film have come to the conclusion... the fil will be enjoyable while you are watching it, but as the film ends and you begin talking about it, you'll begin talking about all the plot holes and mistakes that it makes... Enjoy...
Hey dude,
Long time reader, first time writer. JoBlo is the name, movies is my game...
I just got back from the premiere of THE BONE COLLECTOR at the Montreal Film Festival, and thought I’d slip you a note with some of the juicy details of this serial killer thriller.
First of all, my girlfriend (Let’s call her Mrs. JoBlo) and I went to this film expecting to see it and not much else. But what do you know and the first person that we see walking up to the theatre is director Phillip Noyce surrounded by some TV cameras. “Wow”, I says to the Mrs., “imagine if Denzel himself were to show”…and as the words “were to show” are still hanging out of my mouth like in one of those newspaper cartoons, we both see Mr. Debonair himself, Denzel Washington pop out of a limo, about five feet in front of us (Just my luck, and I don’t have any of my spec scripts to throw his way, but I digress).
He waves, smiles, waves some more, and makes his way into the theatre intact. We follow, but are immediately 86’d by a couple of dipshit ushers attempting to squeeze every penny out of the six bucks and hour that they get paid to stand there and harass dudes like me (i.e. Movie geeks bouncing around in bermudas, teeshirts and running clogs.) “You have to have a ticket to—“, says the boy with a mission, before I sideswipe our paid-for tickets across his dumbass face (If I sound bitter, there are plenty of longer stories behind it, but suffice it to say, we got in...without the apparently unspoken code of dress, i.e. suit and tie?!).
Before the damn show gets under way, presentations are made. Oh by the way, Mrs. JoBlo and I managed to finagle our way down to the VIP section, only three rows behind Denzel himself. “Wow, he sure looks like a cool dude”, I thought, at least from what I saw of him from behind his head :) Producer Marty Bregman walks up to the mike, thanks everyone for coming, the Mayor of Montreal (Who got up to “weak applause” at best), and everyone in Montreal who helped in the filming of said film (Most of it was apparently shot in our fair city last year). He intros director Phillip Noyce, the tall drink of water behind DEAD CALM, PATRIOT GAMES and THE SAINT, who says a couple of words, and then Bregman apologizes for Angelina Jolie’s absence, “She really wanted to be here, but she’s shooting a film in L.A.”. Hmmm...yeah, well...whatever.
The Denzel intro draws everyone to a clammer, but despite standing before the grand crowd, Mr. Washington does not take to the mike. In fact, my keen eye noticed him beelining it straight to the exit when the lights went down. Hmmmm...very odd, I thought...whatever.
Let’s see this movie already!
Along with Washington and Jolie, some of the second-bananas in this film include Queen Latifah (Don’t laugh, she’s actually good in it), Michael Rooker (Serial killer movie…natch!) and Ed O’Neill (Yup, that right, Al Bundy himself). O’Neill kinda took me by surprise, but he settled in nicely as a serious police detective. So what’s the story all about? Well...
In a nutshell, Washington is an expert in forensics, crime scene unit detective, if you will. He’s written books, received acclamations. Until one day, boom, a beam falls down on his legs, and he’s a paraplegic from there on. That’s right, Denzel is in a hospital bed the whole movie! Another crazy serial killer is on the loose (Thankfully for us, the number of REAL serial killers does not even come close to the number of Hollywood movies featuring these crazy bastards, but once more…I digress), and Denzel finds himself knee-deep in the investigation. He wants to be a part of it, but he can’t physically take any part, so he finds an up-and-coming forensics expert, enter Jolie, to basically be his physical vehicle along the investigation. At first they clash, then they begin to find out more about one another, and yes, eventually they begin to understand and respect each another. That’s it. So how is it?
It’s good. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it’s very good. A solid, serial killer thriller, reminiscent of SEVEN and SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (High praise indeed, but certainly a little under their league), and some great performances from Denzel, as the man who finds a new purpose for himself through the case, and Jolie (No tit shots in this one, kids), as the vulnerable rookie with a keen eye for the details, and the sharp mind to match Denzel’s intensity.
The direction in this film is superb, as well as the score, which accentuates the dark, seedy atmosphere of the film’s underground scenes. Yes, there are some “rain pouring down scenes” a la SEVEN, and plenty of gory and disgusting crime scene aftermaths (Mrs. JoBlo had to turn away at more than one occasion), but all in all, the film crunched me by the balls and took me for a nice, creepy ride.
Granted, there is a little too much “let’s solve the mystery”-type talking going on, and less action, but this film focuses more on the evidence, the clues and the puzzles that the killer leaves behind, to solve its own mystery. Not too many car chases, if that’s your bag. Also, if you don’t like films in which the killer purposely leaves all kinds of cryptic clues at the crime scene, in order to give the police officers “a chance” to catch him, well again…this one ain’t for you. What I’m talking about is…i.e. killer leaves a Rubix Cube at the crime scene...the cops figure out that the Rubix Cube was invented in 1984...then they determine that the crime took place on the 12th day of the month...so they figure if they divide 1984 by the date upon which the crime took place, they may come up with the address to which the next murder will take place, etc...well, okay…not THAT FAR-FETCHED, but you get my vibe.
All in all, I gave this film a 7.5/10, with a creepier 8/10 from Mrs. JoBlo, who was grossed out by many of the scenes (I’ve become quite immune to all the disgust by now). If you like thrillers, police mysteries, or even Hitchcock-type films (I promised myself that I wouldn’t mention his name in the review, but dammit, I couldn’t help it!), this film certainly reminds one of REAR WINDOW with a touch of SEVEN to boot. I loved the style, many close-ups, point-of-view shots from Denzel’s bedrest, and a mood which you could just bite into, and spit out!
It will be interesting to see if people will go see this film, considering the general saturation of this “serial killer genre”, IMHO. But Washington and Jolie’s performances and chemistry alone should warrant a visit from anyone who is interested by the premise. Definitely NOT for the squeamish!
Side note, as Mrs. JoBlo and I slinkered out of the theatre and back into the nothingness that was the night before the film began, we happened to walk by director Noyce, who was standing at the back of the hall, alongside producer Bregman. Not sure if he heard me or not, but I did nod my head and shout out “Great job, sir!”, to which no acknowledgment ever came. Must’ve been the bermudas. Oh well...I thought...whatever!
Here ya go with Mr Jink's fairly negative SPOILER filled review... read at your own risk...
Just thought I'd drop you a line to tell you about Phil Noyce's new movie, THE BONE COLLECTOR. As you know, it stars Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, and Michael Rooker (Queen Latifah, Ed O'Neill, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman, and Leland Orser all appear in smaller parts).
Like all Phil Noyce films, I always find them slick and well produced but have a shelf life of about five minutes. The second the credits role and you start to turn over the plot points in your mind, everything falls apart. By the time you hit the doors from the theater, you realize that you've just sat through a movie that has more plot holes in it than Swiss cheese.
Denzel Washington plays Lincoln Rhymes (what a horrible name) who is a celebrated forensics officer in New York City. He is such an expert, he has written several respected books on the subject. In the movie's small prologue (almost entirely shown in the trailer) Denzel is crushed by an enormous falling pipe and completely paralyzed, save for his head and two fingers.
Now bedridden, he spends his days having seizures while Queen Latifah attends to his every need. He's also assisted by the most expensive computer system ever devised, including voice commanded software that always obeys him without error! (bet it isn't microsoft). Actually, the technology on display is science-fiction even though the movie doesn't acknowledge it as such - he has an ESPER just like in BLADE RUNNER, for God's sake.
Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie is an introverted beat cop (a woman I could watch for hours - however, she may be the least convincing cop on screen since - well, since ever!) who breaks up with her boyfriend one morning and heads out to work.
Of course, there's a killer on the loose, driving around New York in a cab. He picks up a rich couple at JFK and drives them off to a warehouse district, where he buries the man in one of Manhattan's train tunnels and disappears with the woman. Needless to say, a little boy finds the man's body and alerts the cops, bringing Angelina to the scene of the crime. She displays cunning in the manner she preserves the crime scene, photographing it in great detail and stopping a train from running over clues the killer has left behind on the tracks. Her work brings her to Denzel's attention, who has been recruited by Ed O'Neill and Mike McGlone to help them solve the crime. (Apparently they know that they are too stupid to solve this crime, so they run to Denzel, figuring that since he's crippled he has nothing better to do). Over Michael Rooker's protests (playing his usual insufferable asshole who lives only to annoy the protagonist for no other reason than the formula requires an annoying Police Chief antagonist) Denzel realizes in a matter of minutes what the others are too dense to realize - that the killer has abducted the woman and is going to kill her a 4 o'clock (the logic leaps that get him there are much too complex and silly to go into) - suffice it to say that they figure out that the killer is going to murder his captive with a giant steam pipe under the Macy's (or was it Woolworth) building in downtown Manhattan.
The cops run to the scene and send Angelina in first, but they are too late. The killer's prisoner is literally STEAMED to death (give credit where credit is due - I'm pretty sure I haven't seen that before).
The movie achieves some suspense in the scenes that follow, as Angelina runs around town, constantly arriving too late to save the killer's victims, but just in time to make a thorough examination of the crime scene (the film is an ode to the science of forensics - Denzel tells Angelina that she "has the gift"). Eventually, Denzel uses his encyclopedia-like mind to figure out that the killer is committing his deeds only in turn-of-the-century locations - abandoned subway stations, old slaughter houses, the old dockside. And, he's been leaving scraps of paper behind that Queen Latifah puts together on Denzel's ESPER (hey, Phil set it up that she likes putting puzzles together, so it makes sense, right?) that reveal an old book company logo. A logo that Denzel recognizes instantly as belonging to a company that published crime novels in the 1890's! Angelina rushes to a bookstore (where Phil Noyce pulls a Hitchcock as he browses among the books) and immediately finds a shelf filled with old editions of the crime books! She pulls one off the shelf and sees that it's called THE BONE COLLECTOR! (the killer has been removing a bone from his victims). Angelina flips the book open and instantly realizes that the killer is mimicing the killer in this old volume he read. Well, maybe he didn't really read it, because he's patterning his kills after those illustrated in the book - Angelina flips through it and sees that he's brought each illustration to life - so he must be about to bring the last illustration to life! (No, the last illustration is not of Denzel Washington as an invalid in a bed waiting for the killer to come and get him, but it wouldn't have been more ridiculous than the rest of it at this point!).
Needless to say, the killer sneaks into Denzel's room and reveals himself (truly ridiculous and in no way set up in the screenplay) and tries to kill Denzel. There's something especially ridiculous about watching somebody try to kill a paralyzed man and failing. Denzel is saved by his quick wits, truly bad writing, and his bed's "Emergency Bed Mode" that he activates without the killer noticing (thank God the bed manufacturer's were able to envision a circumstance where a helpless patient might be trapped in his life support gear while a maniac is trying to take his life).
Angelina arrives in the nick of time, of course, and saves the day, dispatching the killer with a few well placed shots.
To cap off his movie, Phil Noyce serves up the most ridiculous post-script scene I've seen in a movie in a long time. A Christmas party is underway in Denzel's apartment. After spending the entire movie bedridden and suffering periodic seizures which threaten to turn him into a vegetable (he has even gone so far as to convince a doctor friend that he needs the Kevorkian treatment), we now see him all dapper in a wheelchair, a big smile on his face and a semi-pornographic tie Luis Guzman gave him pinned on his chest. Why the sudden change of attitude and happy embracing of life without mobility? Probably because Angelina Jolie is now holding his hand and making googly-eyes at him (if anybody can make you happy to be paralyzed, it's her) - but come on! On that note, the camera pulls out of the window and shows us the Manhattan skyline as old Peter Gabriel plays on the soundtrack (no, the song has nothing to do with anything other than Phil liked it - so his music taste is probably better than his film taste). What happened to the guy who made DEAD CALM? When did this body snatcher fill his shoes? (Probably when he butchered Clancy's PATRIOT GAMES and made that thing masquerading as the film version).
Like most bad book adaptations, the movie is top heavy with characters who serve no purpose other than the fact that some version of them must have appeared in the original book. Mike McGlone in particular does nothing (not a bad thing, since he's really a terrible actor) and Ed O'Neill is simply sadled with volumes and volumes of exposition. Michael Rooker, ostensibly the red herring, is so mindlessly antagonistic, crude, and stupid that he can't possibly be the killer. One scene particularly highlights how silly the events in the film are - the killer is pulled over by a traffic cop just outside Manhattan's Grand Central Station. He proceeds to shot the police officer in broad daylight and somehow speed away without getting caught. Anybody who has ever lived in Manhattan knows that you can't "speed away" from that area at any time during the day - it's smack in the heart of one of the world's most crowded traffic grids.
Clearly, THE BONE COLLECTOR is the result of Noyce's long unfulfilled desire to bring Caleb Carr's THE ALIENIST to the screen. The killer's locales, the book he's copying - everything harks to THE ALIENIST. I leave THE BONE COLLECTOR with only one small consolation - that Phil Noyce has not been allowed to adapt that great book and also ruin it for the screen. We can only hope Scott Rudin gets somebody else to direct that adaptation.
Mr Jink
