THREE KINGS review

I walked into THREE KINGS with very high expectations after Moriarty’s review. Specifically it was the following paragraph that thrilled me:

“I never in a million years would have guessed that a film starring George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, and Ice Cube would turn out to be the first serious, sober look at the ethics of that conflict. I never would have guessed that Warner Bros., a company that is in bed with the man who most benefited from the Gulf War (Ted Turner), would release such a film. And I never would have believed it possible that David O. Russell, who has given us small, carefully studied character comedies (SPANKING THE MONKEY and the brilliant FLIRTING WITH DISASTER) up till now would have pulled off the first great war comedy since Altman's M*A*S*H.” -- Moriarty

That instantly set my expectations for something I really love which is political satire.

Next I began focusing in on the trailers for the film, which make this film out to be some sort of KELLY’S HEROES remake, and I found myself wondering if Moriarty was on crack the first time he saw the film.

Well, to all the people out there like me that saw this movie as a possible rip-off of KELLY’S HEROES.... No... That isn’t what this movie is. It goes in radically different moralistic directions than the trailer leads you to believe.

Moriarty and I are very similar on a couple of issues. We both want to rule the world. We both will wed Heather Graham. And lastly we both watched every second of the Gulf War.

However, unlike Moriarty... I didn’t love this film. I think the movie is very very good. I think the film has moments of greatness inside of it. BUT... though it has those great moments, moments do not a great film make.

Anyone who watched the preceding politics and the aftermath of the Gulf War can really clearly see that the war was completely about economics and not about ‘freeing the Kuwaiti people’. That was merely the easy motivational tool created to get folks riled up at home so that we wouldn’t have a Vietnam on our hands and we’d have the ol Cavalry, yellow ribbons around the ol oak tree tradition wrapped up in our neighbors and community.

It was also about establishing the U.S. as the military leader in the post-wall falling world.

There were a lot of issues at work in this war. Almost none of which are faced here. We get a sampling tray. You know, like at a party. Except here the filleted salmon with a sprig of lettuce and a slice of tomato is Oil.

The film covers some of the bases. Oil fields afire. Pelicans in oil. Looting Kuwait.

As well as Bush telling the Iraqis to rise up and overthrow Saddam... then pulling out and lending no support thus dooming the revolutionaries to a life of hiding and being wiped out.

These issues are covered lightly. As really... at it’s heart this is a very carefree film meant quite a bit for commercial enjoyment. And ya know.... I like the film. It’s entertaining as all hell... BUT this is not the GREAT GULF WAR FILM.

Which then beckons the question... what is the great Gulf War film and how do you go about making it? Well... Personally I don’t feel the great film can be made from the American perspective. It really must be set and starring Iraqis. The ones that Bush spoke out to. The ones that bought his line about ‘rising up’.

About people that listened to the message from a foreign leader that after bombing them, then requested that they rise up to overthrow their leader and then not lend a hand. To me... there is a fantastic story of using propaganda to create an underground movement in another country, then backing off and not being there for support.

Imagine if after we drove Hitler’s men back into Germany we simply set up a guard post of his borders. Dropped leaflets in Germany and asked that they kill their leader. But... We wouldn’t supply guns, ammo, medical aid, training, support of any kind.

I remember how pissed ol Storming Norman was when they didn’t follow through. It was... stunning. Amazing. All that build up. All the speeches, vilifying Saddam as the anti-Christ in a turban. After making him out to be Satan... you don’t kill or capture Satan? You let him sit there?

Sorry... went off on a tangent there. Well hold on, another tangent just hit me. I’d be interested in seeing ol Peter Arnett’s story about reporting from Bagdad. That’d be a helluva story, I think.

Sigh...

No, nope... this film is a War Dramedy. It’s too unfocused to be as great as Altman’s M*A*S*H. But it...

God this is a difficult film to discuss and not speak in specifics.

Ok.. Back to basics. What did I like?

Well.... pretty much everything in the film.

No no, be specific.

Oh. Ok. Well I loved Spike Jonze, to me... He portrays the type of American that the gum cards for DESERT SHIELD and DESERT STORM were created for. I remember these people. I sold a shitload of DESERT STORM cards. I remember, they actually had ‘player cards’ of George Bush and Storming Norman. At one point the ol Norman card was pulling in a whopping $8 a card. It was amazing. They were available at every grocery store and gas station. They had series 1 and 2 and 3.

Spike Jonze plays one helluva uneducated redneck kill crazy motherfucker. A matter of fact, he may very well be the very best uneducated redneck kill crazy motherfucker that I have ever seen in film period.

What the hell? I thought this guy was a director, but if he’s really this talented in front of the camera, team him up as Ed Norton’s brother and lets have a good 30 films. I mean, he completely runs off into the dust with this movie. I just wish everything had been from his perspective.

That would have been warped, I know, but I wanted to see the movie focused around an ignorant sonuvabitch that tapes C-4 to a nerf football and throws it for someone to shoot.

Somebody who sees reality in his own trailer trash Ren & Stimpy cartoon universe where someone shot in the neck becomes the damnedest thing you ever did see. Then views it in his mind as... well... you’ll see.

Now you haven’t really seen Spike in the trailers. Instead the trailer claims that the Three Kings are George Clooney, Ice Cube and Mark Wahlberg. Well... I guess they can claim that, but I believe that the name comes from Spike Jonze singing ‘We Three Kings of Orient old...” while they look at the ass map. Clooney, if memory serves, wasn’t even in the tent at that point, so I believe the Three Kings in the title should be referring to Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg and Spike Jonze. Of course that is significantly less marketable than having George Clooney added in there.

And as is typical of Warner Marketing, they are misadvertising this movie as KELLY’S HEROES, but then I guess advertising it as a film about saving the lives of Iraqi citizens due to the inhumanity of both George Bush and Saddam... well... That probably wouldn’t get many asses in seats. Whereas selling it as a Gulf War redux of KELLY’S HEROES would do the treat nicely. Then when an intelligent audience sees this film, they’ll embrace it and say it is a lot more than they were expecting....

Unless of course you read Moriarty’s review. In which case you will go into the film expecting something slightly more than you’ll get.

This is a movie that feels a bit Coen Brother-esque, and not because of the Carter Burwell score (which for me was barely heard) It’s Coen-like in the inspired comedic takes it has... and the vervy cinematic decisions that take us outside of the typical fare. The film will undercrank and overcrank for fantastic effect. It also has a wonderful sound effect for tracking with bullets that I just adore. Next to Sergio Leone’s spaghetti western ‘shots’ sounds, this is my favorite. It isn’t the standard, “PIKewwww” sound that Hollywood has drilled into our heads.

Clooney, Wahlberg and Cube all play exactly how I expected them. Whoever the lead Iraqi soldier, who questions Wahlberg is... He’s wonderful. He really speaks to me. He’s not an evil man. If anything, he’s a bit confused by how fucked up the world has become. He had liked the Americans before the bombs began falling. But... that has changed. He isn’t hardened and furious. He’s reserved and tragically human.

Strangely, Wahlberg’s wife... who is barely in the film, affected me probably the most out of everyone in the film. I believe that she is the girl in KILLING MRS TINGLE that was the better student than Katie and was a bit snobbish... But here... she is meant to play a fairly one note, supportive wife at home. But through a short couple of scenes and the wonderful expressions on Wahlberg’s face when thinking of her... Plus her own concern when she realizes the call isn’t a simple from the base call.... Well... I really felt for her.

As a result I got a bit distracted away from the film as I began wondering about this poor lady. I mean.. Imagine if your husband is off in a war. You have a one month old baby to deal with. Suddenly you get this call. Immediately you are elated. Ecstatic. Overjoyed. Then you hear the tone of your husband. He’s exasperated. A bit desperate. He asks that you give some coordinates to someone. You write it down. You hear an explosion, he calmly tells you it was a wall exploding... suddenly the phone is dropped, you hear foreign voices and gun fire and your husband being dragged off.

Now... we didn’t get to hold on her at all during this scene. Instead I had to imagine what holding a one month baby in one hand and what sounds like your husband’s death in the other.

I just wanted to find her and give that lady a hug afterwards because... man... She had one helluva bad day after that phone call. You can count on it.

I really like this movie. It has tons to offer and is far more than the typical comedy or typical ‘score’ film. ‘Score’ Film is “I’ve got this plan how we can all get rich... all we have to do is...” that’s a ‘Score Film”. But not so much more that I herald it as a Great Film. It is, however, a very good one.

The flaw for me in the movie is that it is a bit scatterbrained. It wants to cover the ‘Republican Guard’ angle, the ‘Breaking News Reporter’ angle, the ‘Iraqi Revolutionaries’ angle, the ‘Yes Sir No Sir Soldier’ angle and the “I’ll do it my way” Soldier angle. It does all of these well, but had it concentrated on some of them a bit harder... say focused on our 4 leads and their experiences with both sides of the Iraqis.... I would have been happier. But by bringing in the reporter, you open up another subject matter not directly related to the story at hand about media manipulation via the military and American government... which is an entirely separate film worthy of it’s own day in a theater. Now what is interesting is this is the same problem that U-TURN had, which was also written by John Ridley. I liked U-TURN alot, but felt that if it had been a little bit more focused... a problem at the time I believed was Oliver Stone's, but I now believe must reside in the screenplay since it exists here as well.

There is a lot going on here. I’ll see this movie again. Spike Jonze... by himself is the reason to see this movie. That and... the cow. Best use of a cow in cinema since TWISTER. You will simply love the cow in this movie. In fact between Spike Jonze and that damn cow... You’ll be yapping about both with friends for a couple of weeks afterwards.

Enjoy.