Oh man... This kinda makes me fear watching this film, but... Ya know I just love the original HEAVY METAL to death, it's an adolescent wet dream of a cool animated film, but... Ya know... What's wrong with that? Nothing! We need gratuitous adolescent slobber fests... they're good for the soul. They're fun. And that first one rocked hard! Ever since I heard that this was going to basically be ONE story... my fear set in. I loved the fact that the first film changed into radically different styles of animation... EXACTLY like the world renowned magazine of the same name. The CORBEN sequence looked like CORBEN stuff. The Bernie Wrightson sequence looked like Bernie Wrightson... and ya know... That's the way it's supposed to be. Well... this is just one guy's opinion. Let's hold off any sort of mass fear till we get ALOT more feedback... this is just the first one out of the fire...
Tonight (Sept 10) was the "World Premiere" of "Heavy Metal: FAKK2" at Montreal's Imperial Cinema (Home of the FantAsia Festival). The screening was for the employees of Cine-Groupe and was attended by all the employees and their guests. After an interminable speech by Jacques Pettigrew, Cine-Groupe's head honcho (who went on to explain how the first footage came to light seven months ago, the first color images only five months ago and that they were still in heavy pre-prod a month ago); and a short bow by Kevin Eastman (the only "name" in attendance) the film unspooled.
It was apparent from the start that the film was ultimately rushed and numerous corners were cut: Frame rate is appalingly low, movements are stiff and the character design is your generic saturday morning variety with too much shadow effets thrown on to make it look expensive. But it just doesn't work. The film is clunky and stiff and the interesting 3D effects (courtesy of ToonTeck) have trouble matching- there are serious scan dots around the spaceships. These will probably look better on the video version.
[Frankly, waiting for the video has many advantages. Perhaps the main one is that you'll be able to fast forward through most of the film.]
If you've been drooling over Eastman's conceptual drawings- prepare yourself to be really- and I do mean REALLY- dissapointed. In some shots "Julie" basically looks like He-Man in Vampirella's costume with fake tits. Her stance is reminescent of those taken by Miles O'Keefe in "cave Dwellers" that would make MST3K's Tom Servo exclaim :"I'm HUGE!". Julie Strain's voice is heard but there is little in the character left of her. Just a crude (in all senses) cartoony rendition of her body.
Forget the soft bouncy animation that made gratuitous sex of the original work. There are no loving fetish shots of "Taarna" of fleshy copulations like "Harry Canyon". Forget also any variety. There is only one story in FAKK 2 and it seems even less satisfying than any of the stories in the original HEAVY METAL.
Warning! Spoilers ahead! (Not that many- I don't want to bore you)
Tyler (voiced by Michael Ironside) is a mine worker on an asteroid who uncovers the key to some ancient fountain of youth. This key (a chunkof glowing green crystal) renders its possessor mad. On his way to this lost world of Euroboris, he kidnaps the sister of "Julie" (voiced by u-know-who) after she took a gratuitous shower.
Enlisting the aid of one of Tyler's henchmen, she follows the jolly madman on his journey to Uroboris where she meets a sage named Odin (voiced by Billy Idol) and his short stony sidekick.
Tyler has , in the meantime, achieved a sort of immortality by distilling descendants of the race which thrived on the revitalizing waters and extracting some of it. This gives way for his catchphrase "When you kill someone, better make sure he's dead!". Then there's more grunting and tumbling against a totally generic rock score. "Julie" takes a nekkid dip in the rejuvenating pool and saves her sis, and you know the rest...
Frankly, the slogan for the film should be "When you make a movie, better make sure it's good!"
Peppered throughout the film are truly juvenile sex jokes that would make the Farelly brothers roll their eyes in disbelief. There are also a few in-jokes in the form of billboards in an interstellar jumpstation's docking bay:there is one with Cine-Groupe's logo, another one for Julie Strain's book "Six Foot Tall and Worth the Climb" (with a caption declaring "Over 5 Trillions copies sold!") and even one the Heavy Metal FAKK2 game (!) There is also an in-joke aimed squarely at Montreal audiences: a Stop sign with the single french word "Arret" on it- just like the way they are in this town.
But on the whole, it was a dull way to spend ninety-odd minutes and I gave a pass to the free beer and wine just to make sure no one would ask what I tought of the film.
If you consider the budgets and time constraints, it's amazing what they achieved. Then again, this is what happens when you win a project by seriously underbidding the others and then subcontract the bulk of the work all over Asia- which is Cine-Groupe's way.
In the end, it just plain sucked like a micrometeorite puncture in Mir's hull.
(signed)
Le Fantome de l'Imperial
