Once again, Harry here, and I do want to stress that films testing at this stage of the game are not necessarily locked down films. If it seems like I go overboard with this sort of 'warning' and explanation of the process... well it's because I find it very important that if I am to continue covering Test Screenings, I must put them in some form of context for people not familiar with the process. All one has to do is plot the journey of tests it took Coppola to sculpt THE RAINMAKER into the damn fine film it wound up being. It did not start off that way in the process. SO... I always allow room for a change in wind on films. The fact is, SOMETIMES WHEN DONE RIGHT, reshoots, rewrites, massive editing orgys, etc... They make GIGANTIC differences along with sound, color correction, etc. Not every time... but sometimes it really is helpful. So... Cut the film some slack. Right now... nearly 6 months before release the film has some problems.... Well... in a way... that's why they tested it. Now... Onto our wonderfully fresh face lean and mean Segue Zagnut. Who could literally win a Jean Claude Van-Damme look-a-like contest someday... if they held one. Well... here he is...
Head Geek
This is Segue Zagnut. I'm trying to keep an eye on movies but I don't know if I can do it. Last night I saw 'The Outpost', Sylvester Stallone's new film with Robert Patrick, Tom Berenger, and Polly Walker. I've got good news and bad news, but first let me address a couple of talkbacks from Harry Lime's review yesterday.
There is absolutely no Star Wars themed bank robbery that opens the film. In fact there isn't even a bank robbery and I can't image how it would have fit in if they had. There is also no snow mobile chase at the end. Too bad because the ending is so predictable and bad, it would have been nice if it had been fun to watch. As for the name change, I agree... ' The Outpost' sucks. This was not a science fiction film. It would be like calling 'Cliffhanger'... 'Zero Gravity'. 'Detox', which I understand was 'The Outpost' original name, is amazingly more appropriate and, not to mention, better.
I don't know how many writers will take credit for this film, because this movie is so obviously plagerizin.... I mean 'a homage to'... The Thing, the Alien movies, The Shining, Se7en, Dirty Harry, and Die Hard. Sadly everyone of those films is better then this one and that includes Alien Cubed.
Here's the breakdown: The film starts with Sly, as an FBI agent, tracking a cop killer. After two very graphic murders that hit Sly close to home, he goes into a drunken depression. The only good moments this movie has to offer come here. In fact, these are the scenes that play like a mix of Se7en meets Dirty Harry. Even though close to nothing in these scenes is original, Sly is so committed to the character that it works. If the movie had stayed in this style and look it might have held my interest. (SPOILER) In one scene that I'm sure will be much reported about, Sly tries to kill himself. The scene is great. Dark, real, and heartbreaking. Sly puts in a star performance and shines through the tired premises.
Then the movie gets to the detox center set in the middle of some far away Wyoming snow covered mountain and there is not a single moment of good film left. Every last second is predictable and even worse... slow. The movie pass made it sound like Die Hard in a secluded detox center... ah.. they wish. It is more like any one of the Friday the 13th movies as we find 'new' and exciting ways to kill off characters. Let me give some examples: People die from an ax to the head, an electric chair, a forced drug overdose, a bullet through the eye, some kind of snow shredder and probably ten hangings that the killer never would have had time to pull off.
Where as the beginning of the film is an almost interesting character piece, the rest is a poorly written ensemble. Sly virtually vanishes from the lead role as we sit around and watch a mismatch assortment of reject cops complain about why they are so fucked up. Not one of these characters feel real. Poor Robert Patrick plays a real tough cop bully who of course is all talk, when confronted by the possibility of his own death. His last scene in the film is laughably bad.
The writer pretends to flesh out the other characters in the center, but exposition doesn't cut it. After we are forced to hear one cops tragic story, we are forced to hear another, then another, then anoooo... sorry I just fell asleep. There is a sub plot involving an old cop buddy that hangs around outside the detox center, that I guess was supposed to be comic relief. Instead, it just wastes time. To tell you the truth, I could go on and on about all the problems this film has and my review would feel as long as the movie.
So that's it for the bad news. Here's the good news: I think they can fix it. No, it will never be a great film, but I think they could make it work as a absolutely no brainer action film that movie geeks like our own ABKing can enjoy. This would involve cutting the entire opening from the film. Cut the buddy cop subplot. Trim the long expositions scenes in between killings. Add back in much of the beginning of the film as flash backs for Sly character. Shoot a big snow mobile chase scene for the climax. And if you want to go all the way, have Sly blow up the Outpost. Put that stuff together with Sly's pretty solid performance and the gruesome graphic violence and the film is no worse then Cobra. ABKing and the like can sleep at night if you do that, otherwise as it stands right now even he will hate it.
Please Sly, learn from Bruce. Read the script before you accept the gig. I've said too much.
Consider This.. Segue Zagnut
