STAR TREK!! ROME!! FARSCAPE!! ANDY BARKER!! SPIDER-MAN!! X-MEN!! GI JOE!! SOPRANOS!! HercVault!!

I am – Hercules!!

The coolest TV-related item hitting stores today is The Blu-ray edition of of this year’s “Star Trek” movie. You can find my very long review of the set and its many extras here.

Star Trek: Best Of Vol. 2 offers four more excellent but overpriced episodes of the original series: * “Where No Man Has Gone Before.” Kirk’s best pal becomes power-crazed when a barrier at the edge of the galaxy increases his intelligence and gives him incredible telekinetic power. * “Space Seed.” A genetically enhanced warrior from the 1990s named Khan Noonian Singh seduces a member of the Enterprise crew and takes over the ship. * “A Piece of the Action.” One of the funniest episodes finds the crew dealing with a planet full of bizarre humanoid aliens who insist on acting like 1930s Earth gangsters because they read about them in a book. * “Journey To Babel.” During a Federation conference marred by Andorian-on-human violence, we get a glimpse of Spock’s dysfunctional family dynamic. If memory serves, Daddy Sarek wanted Spock to go into computer programming instead of Starfleet.

Star Trek The Next Generation: Best Of Vol. 2 contains these adventures of Picard, Data, Worf, et al: * “Relics,” a 1992 episode written by latter-day “Battlestar Galactica” mastermind Ronald D. Moore has the crew of the Enterprise-D rescuing Jim Kirk’s old chief engineer, Montgomery Scott, from suspended animation. * “The Inner Light,” about a mysterious probe that causes Picard to experience decades of an alien’s life, is for my money the best episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” ever produced. * “Cause and Effect,” written by “Threshold”/“FlashForward” co-creator Brannon Braga, features guest star Kelsey Grammer and follows the crew as they try to break out of a time loop that resets every time a collision destroys the Enterprise-D. * “Tapestry,” again written by Moore, begins with the death of Picard at the hands of radicals. In the afterlife, the nigh omnipotent alien Q offers Picard the chance to reshape his life from his Starfleet Academy days onward.

“Rome” inexplicably never got an Emmy nomination for series, direction or writing, but got plenty of Emmy recognition for its cinematography, costumes, hair and make-up, so it’s a no-brainer for Blu-ray release. Also? Respected hot actresses Polly Walker and Kerry Condon strip naked in episode one and the HD demonstrates that grooming habits have not changed appreciably in 2,000 years. Created by writers Bruno Heller (“The Mentalist”) and John Milius (“Apocalypse Now”) and producer William MacDonald (“Jade”), the series is a ripping history lesson that follows Ancient Rome’s transition from Republic to Empire between 52 and 31 B.C. Its cast includes Ciarán Hinds (“There Will Be Blood”) as Gaius Julius Caesar, Simon Woods (“Cranford”) as heir Gaius Octavian Caesar, Tobias Menzies (“Casino Royale”) as Marcus Junius Brutus, James Purefoy (“Solomon Kane”) as Mark Antony, Kevin McKidd (“Journeyman”) as central centurion Lucius Vorenus and Ray Stevenson (“Punisher: War Zone”) as central legionnaire Titus Pullo. This is one of the best series of the decade. It is funny, gripping and bad-ass, and I adore it. The Hollywood Reporter says:

… From a production standpoint, "Rome" is simply amazing. … The overall series is no less an accomplishment. Bruno Heller's scripts, while somber much of the time, nonetheless deliver compelling stories and memorable characters. … What makes it particularly engaging in this account is the parallel (and sometimes perpendicular) stories of two soldiers, Lucius Vorenus ([Kevin] McKidd), a gods-fearing, upstanding Centurion, and his subordinate, Titus Pullo ([Ray] Stevenson), a freewheeling, headstrong Legionnaire. … Episode lengths vary from about 40-50 minutes, but invariably leaving you craving more.

Variety says:

… an intriguing world that hews closer to "I, Claudius" than "Gladiator," with all the expected pay-cable debauchery. (It's not for the faint of heart). After watching half of the dozen episodes, I'm hooked, with the disclaimer that this ambitious venture requires a no-reading-the-Sunday-paper-while-watching commitment … No trip to ancient Rome would be complete without a healthy dose of sex, which is amply supplied by Caesar's conniving niece Atia (Polly Walker), who beds enough powerful men to practically open her own second front. Literally bathing in blood at one point, she's completely unabashed about pimping out her daughter to further her goals.

USA Today gives it three and a half stars (out of four) and says:

As extravagant, enticing and chaotic as Rome itself, HBO's latest series boasts all the opulent pleasures that lavish expenditures of time and money can buy. Every detail in its re-creation of ancient Rome may not be correct, but the spirit and the overall picture ring true — and the entertainment value resounds. … Rome is not solely interested in the machinations of the high and mighty. It devotes equal time to the travails of two Roman soldiers: the strict, old-guard centurion Lucius (Kevin McKidd) and his "cheerful brutish" friend Pullo (Ray Stevenson).

Entertainment Weekly gives it a “B” and says:

Rome is not afraid to overdo it. There are clashing swords, flashing robes, and humming markets. There's a bounty of flesh: screwing, bathing, bouncing, writhing. And there's a load of exposition, so much that Rome sometimes feels like it was written by a particularly awful color commentator who won't shut up and let us enjoy the game. … Rome is most entertaining when it laces its wild, ancient antics with winks of the pedestrian: It's amusing to watch poor Octavian forced to join the goat-testes Clean Plate Club under his scolding mother's gaze. But it's simply fantastic when Atia, her house besieged by Pompey's men and her guests ready to commit honor-preserving suicide, whips into Martha Stewart mode. Like a good hostess casually taking drink orders, she wanders among her guests asking who will kill whom. …

Warren Zide’s Collider.com says:

… When I sat down to write this review, I did so after watching the first three episodes, and I came up with a number of issues. I was going to stop there, save the final three and watch them as they aired, but, what can I say, the show had me hooked and I didn’t want to wait. So, I watched the next three and it was as if everything I had complained about the creators had already figured out for themselves. You see, after they shot the first three episodes, they shut down production for a number of months while they “retooled” the show. After watching the first three episodes, the reason for the shutdown was clear. While the second episode was great, all three had issues. …

Extras: * “Friends, Romans, Countrymen” (11:03) Learn that the Roman aristocracy feared Caesar because he had soldiers, money and a lust for power. Learn that Lucious Vorenus and Titus Pullo are the only two specific soldiers Caesar mentions in his account of the Gallic War. Learn Caesar called Antony the greatest warrior he ever knew. Learn Polly Walker thinks Atia should have been emperor. Learn Kerry Condon has an Irish accent. Learn Servilia’s family founded the republic. Learn several accounts describe Servilia as the love of Caesar’s life. * “The Rise of Rome” (23:38) The show’s British cast and crew discuss how shooting at Rome’s Cinecitta studios in modern Italy helped the production. Learn “Gangs of New York” and “Passion of the Christ” shot at Cinecitta just before the first season. (Famously, a 2007 fire destroyed the “Rome” sets but left the much older “Ben-Hur” sets standing.) Learn set designers struggled to the make the various buildings look as if they were designed and built by many different hands. Learn Rome was already 700 years old 50 years before the birth of Christ. Learn the Coliseum was built about 100 years after the events of “Rome,” which is why we see temporary wooden bleachers erected about gladiatorial battles. Learn the immense “Rome” sets covered five acres (!) and was built in just five months by 300 craftsmen from all over Europe. Learn showrunner Bruno Heller was determined to make his Rome look different from all the Hollywood versions. Learn Caesar’s armies built a camp every night. Learn extras went to boot camp where they live in tents and bathed in a lake for two weeks. Learn 2,700 costumes (!) were used in the first three episodes. * “Shot X Shot: Caesar’s Triumph” (22:53) A look at the making of the first season’s most expensive scene, shot November 2004, in which Caesar returns to Rome following his conquest of Gaul and Pompey’s armies. Learn director Alan Taylor (“Sex and the City,” “The Sopranos”), an American import, seldom storyboards, but did storyboard this sequence. Learn the red paint on Caesar’s face was meant to be evocative of Jupiter (aka Zeus), king of the gods. Learn the scene utilized 500 extras. Learn digital effects allowed producers to turn the hundreds into thousands. * “Shot X Shot: Gladiator” (23:02) A look at the memorably scene in which Pullo finds himself impulsively defending the honor of his former legion. Learn gladiators, like modern wrestlers, had stage names like “Hilarus” (“The Joker”). See convincing CGI tests for a dismemberment shot in a parking lot. * “When In Rome” (22:42) A look at how the world of “Rome” existed outside the Judeo-Christian ethic. Learn Heller wanted to avoid the jumbling of eras and imposition of modern Christian morality that plagues movies about ancient Rome. Learn the Romans were into killing to appease their gods, something one doesn’t see much in the West anymore. Learn Atia’s Cult of Cybele sacrifice was imported to Rome from the East. Learn that because little is known of the real Atia, much of her character in Rome is based on an ancient manipulator and troublemaker named Claudia. Learn that Roman girls typically married at age 13. Learn that Romans considered sex no more sinful than eating or drinking. Learn some historians believe as much as 70 percent of the Roman population were slaves. * “A Tale of Two Romes” (20:30). Twins Romulus and Remus are said to have co-founded Rome in 753 B.C., and this minidoc looks at the city’s dual communities: the 30-odd richest patrician families who resided on Palatine Hill with Atia and the not-so-rich plebeians who resided with Vorenus on Aventine Hill, where there was no real police or courts. * “The Making of Rome, Season II” (22:52). Learn that extras on treadmills in front of bluescreens were computerized and electronically cloned to form Rome’s sprawling civil-war armies. Learn that one episode required 768 costumes. Learn that beautiful Kerry Condon, who plays Octavia, actually speaks with an Irish accent. Learn that series director Tim Van Patton still talks like he did when he played Salami on “The White Shadow.” * “The Rise of Octavian: Rome’s First Emperor” (20:44). While Caesar’s heir was highly self-interested, he also turned out to be a spectacularly productive and popular dictator. Learn that as Rome’s first emperor, Octavian ended a century of civil wars and ruled for 41 years. (I happened to catch the Elizabeth Taylor “Cleopatra” on cable recently, and it’s striking how differently Octavian is portrayed in that movie by Roddy McDowell, all sickly and sinister.) * “Antony & Cleopatra” (14:48). Historian Jonathan Stamp suggests that both Caesar and Antony were attracted by the Egyptian monarch’s undisguised ambition. A coin bearing Cleopatra’s profile demonstates that she was considerably less attractive than Elizabeth Taylor or Lyndsey Marshal, but Stamp allows that she had other virtues: “She’s very clever! She’s speaks lots of languages, she was the first Ptolemaic pharaoh to speak ancient Egyptian, so she’s super-bright, super-accomplished, brilliant singer, brilliant dancer, plays lots of instruments, obviously great at chit-chat and talk and schmoozing and all the rest of it. One has to suspect fabulous in bed. Quite a package.” * Each episode comes with “All Roads Lead To Rome,” an optional scene-specific pop-up text feature that adds historical context to the proceedings. This proves a feature very conducive to one’s enjoyment of the series Commentaries include: * 1.1 “The Stolen Eagle.” Co-creator/showrunner Bruno Heller and co-producer/historical consultant Jonathan Stamp. * 1.2 “How Titus Pullo Brought Down The Republic.” Heller and Stamp. * 1.5 “The Ram Has Touched The Wall.” Ray Stevenson (Titus Pullo). * 1.7 “Pharsalus.” Heller and Stamp. * 1.8 “Caesarion.” Director Steve Shill. * 1.9 “Utica.” Director Jeremy Podeswa. * 1.11 “The Spoils.” Kevin McKidd (Lucius Vorenus). * 1.12 “Kalends of February.” Heller and Stamp. * 2.1 “Passover.” Heller and Stamp. * 2.7 “Death Mask.” Director John Maybury and Lindsay Duncan (Servilia). * 2.8 “A Necessary Fiction.” Producer John Melfi and director Carl Franklin. * 2.9 “Deus Impeditio Esuritori Nullus.” Actor James Purefoy (Mark Antony). * 2.10 “De Patre Vostro.” Heller and Stamp.

“Andy Barker, P.I” never made it past its sixth episode but I swear to Christ, it is one of the funniest sitcoms ever forged. In 2006 Conan O’Brien and his old head writer and his longtime sidekick got together and created a laughtrack-free comedy about an accountant who stumbles into a career as a private investigator. Sounds terrible, right? It isn’t! Andy Richter and the old guy from “Fargo” and the guy who played Buster on “Arrested Development” are the stars. The absurdly versatile Jane Espenson, who wrote on “Buffy,” “Firefly,” “Gilmore Girls” and “Galactica,” worked on “Andy Barker” too. USA Today gives it three and a half (out of four) stars and says:

… if you're a comedy fan, you owe it to yourself, and Richter, to check it out. …

TV Guide gives it an “8” (out of 10) and says:

… Nerdy sweetness and deep silliness flow effortlessly from Andy Richter as a chipper accountant (don't dare call him a bookkeeper) turned accidental gumshoe in a series of blissfully absurd capers. …

Entertainment Weekly gives it a “B-plus” and says:

… The show isn't afraid to be quiet, taking its cue from its mild-mannered title character, who utters no oaths stronger than ''Mother Hubbard!'' In one episode, a venal, steamboat-size slob is murdered, and the funniest bits aren't the guy's passionate eating binges (''The man kept a thermos of emergency bisque!'' marvels Andy), but the reaction shots of Andy politely trying to hide his shock at hearing the deceased's many lovers lust over him. ''You thiiiink?'' he squints when the guy's wife suggests he had a mistress. Richter's inherent archness is nicely anchored by septuagenarian Harve Presnell, a character actor best known as William H. Macy's badass father-in-law in Fargo. Presnell plays Andy's equally badass detective mentor, and it's a sign of the show's underdog ethos that the leatherjacketed AARP member is the resident stud here. …

The New York Times says:

… Part of what’s satisfying about “Andy Barker” is that it answers a truly urgent historical question: What would Jake Gittes, Philip Marlowe or Sam Spade have done with Google? Often Andy turns to the old Internet when he wants to find a fact or a fugitive, and the camera is not shy with its shots of the computer screen. The show is surprisingly beautiful — if you came across it while flipping channels, you’d think it was a movie — and that adds to its platinum-card sheen. NBC has lately become a network for the rich, which would be nauseating except that sometimes “upscale” also means “good.” This peculiar series seals NBC’s new role as the skinflint’s HBO. The shows “30 Rock,” “Friday Night Lights” and now “Andy Barker, P.I.” are all so engrossing and so creatively untrammeled that it’s almost suspicious. Have the rules of network TV changed? Does no one need to make money anymore? We may be in a golden age. Watch these shows while you still can, meaning now.…

The Los Angeles Times says:

… a quietly delightful new series … It's funny, but it doesn't go for big laughs so much as a mood of whimsical parody. … there was something brilliant about making him a CPA — a person with confident knowledge about things most of us dimly understand and, in some cases, actively fear: numbers, forms, taxes, money. His day job makes him oddly more romantic than less.

The Washington Post says:

… Even though (or because) we're only seven years in, it's safe to call it "one of the best comedies of the 21st century!" What it lacks in edge, it makes up for in charm. … "Andy Barker P.I." sails along on an admirably even keel, brightened by moments that are convulsively funny -- visual gags and subtler forms of slapstick. It's the kind of comedy that sneaks up on you. Sneaks up on you and threatens to steal your heart.

The Chicago Tribune says:

… the show itself is smart, if only to show off Barker’s innocence. … Everything about “Andy Barker” — from the excellent supporting cast to the kicky opening graphics recalling “Mannix” and “The Rockford Files,” and the dorky action scenes meant to evoke “Starsky and Hutch” — is lovingly created. And there are some laughs, but the show fails to truly catch fire. …

The Denver Post says:

… wonderfully clever … "Andy Barker, P.I." nails the comedy. Judging by the first three episodes, it deserves a long run. …

The Kansas City Star says:

… Last summer I rated “The Knights of Prosperity” as my favorite new comedy of the upcoming TV season. In fairness, that was because I hadn’t yet seen full episodes of “Andy Barker P.I.,” … With all the crazy gags, pitch-perfect dialogue and a fresh hero at the center, it’s hard not to see “Andy Barker” as the spiritual successor to “Police Squad!” …

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer says:

… The sheer goofiness of their performances makes it the kind of sitcom some people will evangelize about. Yes, some. Its bizarre humor isn't what you'd call universal. With mysteries that revolve around (among other things) the sex appeal of a morbidly obese man, chickens, the mob -- lord help us, there's even a ninja in there -- you're either on this train from the start or it speeds right by you. (If you're in the latter category, look for me -- I'll be waving to you from the lounge car.)… There's no need to wax on over how perfectly Richter handles the central role, or what an outrageous foil Hale is. (Watching him hit on Andy's assistant in the second episode is hilariously unsettling enough to show how right it feels to watch him act so wrongly.) Presnell's hard-boiled, leathery Lew is "Andy Barker's" real breakout character, loaded with vinegary one-liners that grow more acidic and grizzled as time goes on. He gets the best writing and knows what to do with it. The man has unimpeachable timing. …

The Portland Oregonian says:

… the deceptively low-key "Andy Barker, P.I.," the latest product of "Late Night" star Conan O'Brien's comedy funhouse, arguably pushes NBC's comedy game to a whole new level. … It's all pitch-perfect: the car chases, the funky soundtrack, the way one crusty cop gets up in the face of a young suspect and rips into him as if it were still the dawning of the Age of Aquarius: "Listen, hippie! You take your orders from me, not Charlie Manson!" …

The Saint Louis Post-Dispatch says:

… Wonderfully silly and lovably off-center, Andy Richter's new comedy is a real charmer. … With its retro tone, ultradry humor and lack of a laugh track, "Andy Barker" is unlikely to appeal to fans of joke-punch line-rimshot sitcoms. But it's a perfect fit with NBC's Thursday cluster of unpredictable comedies. …

The San Francisco Chronicle says:

… a gleefully spoof-tacular gem from Conan O'Brien… … "Andy Barker, P.I." is a joyous, ridiculous, warm, affecting and silly comedy that is tone specific (read: Not everybody is going to get the vibe, and thus the jokes). …

The Boston Herald says:

… Richter’s ex-boss, Conan O’Brien, co-created the series and serves as executive producer. He’s put together a sweet vehicle that plays off Richter’s comedic gifts. … There’s no mistaking the math here. The numbers add up. "Andy Barker, P.I." is the man for the job of brightening your Thursday nights.

Variety says:

… Filled with knowing references to movies such as "Chinatown" and a top-notch supporting cast, "Andy Barker, P.I." should earn critical praise, but … might be too hip for the room, beginning with its Quinn Martin-like credit sequence …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

After Andy Richter quit serving as sidekick on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," he starred in a Fox sitcom, "Andy Richter Controls the Universe." It was very funny, but it didn't last long. Then he did another Fox sitcom, "Quintuplets." It wasn't very funny, and it didn't last long either. With "Andy Barker, P.I." Richter goes back to making funny sitcoms that won't last long. … Jason Ensler, who directed the pilot, knows where to put the camera for maximum laughs. … …

According to Amazon, extras include:

* Going Where The Numbers Take You: An intimate look back at the series with Andy Richter, Conan O Brien, Jonathan Groff, Tony Hale, Clea Lewis, Marshall Manesh and Jason Ensler. * Writers Class 101: A look at what it takes to write a series like Andy Barker P.I. with co-creator Jonathan Groff and writers Jane Espenson, Josh Bycel and Jon Ross. * Cast and crew commentaries. * Gag reel.

As I understand it, this new edition of The Sopranos: The Complete Series has all the bonus material the edition released one year ago has except for the two music CDs. And it costs about $40 less.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: A Very Sunny Christmas hits DVD today well before it hits FX. Danny DeVito gets naked in it, for the many of us I know have been looking forward to that.