Copernicus' Quick Observations of ONG BAK 2, SOLOMON KANE, VALHALLA RISING, A SOLITARY MAN & More!

Sadly, another TIFF is finished. After 10 days of as many as 5 movies a day, I'm exhausted, but giddy. This was a great year -- many I spoke to called it one of the best ever. I have a few more long reviews to finish, but in the meantime here are some quick thoughts a few. SOLOMON KANE A fantasy epic about a character by Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan – what could go wrong with that, right? Sadly, this is a wasted opportunity. It isn’t outright terrible, but it is a waste of time. This is just fantasy by the numbers, and it failed to move me. I liked James Purefoy in ROME, but here as Kane he is only so-so. He isn’t terrible, but he isn’t compelling – we just don’t care one way or the other about his character. Pete Postlethwaite is excellent, but he’s only in the film for about 10 minutes. The effects and some of the fight scenes are competently executed, but the storytelling isn’t (make us care about a character before throwing him into a fight), and everything seems derivitive and second or third rate. This is to LORD OF THE RINGS what those unmemorable Sci Fi films of the early 80s were to STAR WARS. Fantasy methadone. VALHALLA RISING In twitter-speak, this has been summarized as, “Viking FAIL.” That’s about right. While the idea of Mads Mikkelsen as a one-eyed Viking killing machine had many of us wetting our pants pre-fest, we were a victim of our own imagination. In reality there’s about 2 minutes of fighting, and about 90 minutes of brooding amidst landscapes as Mads and Co. get on a boat, find themselves in an interminable fog, and miraculously find themselves in the new world being attacked by Indians. Then they continue to do nothing but fret and fulminate as destiny does its thing. Astonishingly, the film has a few fans, but I’m not one of them – this was one of the biggest disappointments of the festival. LEAVES OF GRASS Edward Norton stars as twins(!) – one is a classics professor being pursued by Harvard, and the other is a pot-growing Oklahoma hillbilly. Susan Sarandon is their possibly-crazy mamma, and Keri Russell a the kind of girl who catches catfish with her bare hands (noodling). The film was written, directed by, and co-starrs Tim Blake Nelson, and it is hard to criticize such a work of love that he poured his heart and soul into. It feels a bit too “indie” to storm the box office, characters do things that are strained just to further the plot, and some of the wacky local color seems a little painted on, but there’s plenty to see. Check it out on DVD if for no other reason than to see Edward Norton’s amazingly executed conversations with himself. I’d never mistake him for a true Southerner but he does deliver two memorable performances. Susan Sarandon is good in a small role, and I love seeing Steve Earle here as the heavy. But to me the best thing about the film is Tim Blake Nelson’s performance. He’s may have a few things to learn as a writer/director, but he’s at the top of his game as an actor. A SOLITARY MAN Michael Douglas plays a man who has amassed a fortune by building an empire of car dealerships, but then spent it all on legal fees trying to keep himself out of prison after some improper financial dealings. He’s dumped or enraged a series of women who are good to him by picking up younger models, and between all of these flaws he’s burned bridges with nearly everyone he knows. He’s barely hanging on to a decent relationship with his daughter, played by Jenna Fischer (Pam from The Office). Facing declining prospects, he has one more chance to set everything straight, when the ultimate temptation presents itself – he must escort his girlfriend’s daughter, Allyson (Imogen Poots) on her college recruitment visit to his alma mater. Along the way he encounters his old friend, played by Danny DeVito. Poots is stunning. The script is tight, and at times surprising. There are solid performances all around, and it is great to see another Douglas-DeVito team up. But the real draw here is the outstanding performance by Michael Douglas as a fatally flawed skirt chaser. He may well get a best actor nomination. And the film leads off with the Johnny Cash version of the Neil Diamond tune, so they had me from the start. HARRY BROWN Michael Caine returns to his roots in a film set near where he grew up. Here he’s the titular HARRY BROWN, ex-marine, widower, and pensioner. Thugs are taking control of the neighborhood, even openly committing murder, and the police refuse to do anything. Circumstances force Harry to take matters into his own hands. This is a straight-ahead vengeance tale with few surprises, but who cares – I signed up to see Michael Caine blow some punk-ass motherfuckers away and I was not disappointed. Director Daniel Barber has his first outing here at feature length, though he had previously directed the Oscar nominated THE TONTO WOMAN. He didn’t win, which prompted Michael Caine to joke at the premiere that he agreed to take the script because it was, “Help the loser day.” He did a fine job, though. The plot had a way of working itself out a little too neatly, but it is a forgivable sin. Michael Caine carries the film and he’s great. GET LOW The reason Michael Douglas won’t get an Oscar this year (see A SOLITARY MAN) is Robert Duvall’s performance in GET LOW. He plays Felix, a hermit in 1930s Tennessee who has barely talked to anyone in 40 years. As he approaches the end of his life he decides he wants to throw a funeral for himself while he’s still alive. Supreme champion of deadpan, Bill Murray, is a thrill to watch as the funeral director, and Lucas Black is great as his no-nonsense assistant. Sissy Spacek rounds out the phenomenal cast as a long-ago love interest who stirs up old memories. I was unsure about this film going in, but it blew me away – one of the discoveries of the festival. Robert Duvall knocks it out of the park – even though he’s playing a man of few words, you hang on every one. Felix is a character for the ages. ONG BAK2 This one doesn’t quite have the magic of the original, but there’s lots of crazy Tony Jaa Muay Thai ass kicking. There is just a tangled thread of a confusing plot, which amounts for excuses for escalating numbers of people to fight Tony Jaa at the same time. And it seemingly has nothing to do with ONG BAK, since it is set in ancient, rather than modern-day Thailand. Allegedly this will be cleared up in ONG BAK 3, which is a sequel to ONG BAK 2, but a prequel to ONG BAK. I miss the fact that the original ONG BAK director, Prachya Pinkaew is not directing this. Allegedly, he and Tony Jaa had a falling out. Also production on this film shut down for a time -- rumors say Tony Jaa,, who started off as the director of this, just disappeared. Despite all these flaws, the climax, involving fighting around, and on elephants is worth seeing, as is the man-on crocodile fight at the beginning.