I am – Hercules!!

ABC inexplicably keeps shoveling new series orders (and millions of dollars) at the team of Josh Applebaum, Andre Nemec, and Scott Rosenberg, the guys behind the supershitty “October Road” and the supershitty U.S. version of “Life On Mars.” Their latest collaboration, “Happy Town,” described as coming “from the network that brought you ‘Twin Peaks,’” is another misfire if we’re to believe the Televisionary website, which just posted a review. Excerpt:

It's a shame as Happy Town boasts a fantastic cast of well-known (and, in some cases, much beloved) actors but they are hampered by a ridiculous plot, insipid dialogue, and an overabundance of exposition that's about as subtle as an anvil. At its best, Happy Town comes off as a cheap knock off of Twin Peaks without that series' effortless wit, intelligence, or flair. At its worst, it's laughably bad and cartoonish.

Those among the cast include the dreamy Lauren German ("Hostel II") and Amy Acker ("Dollhouse"), as well as Dean Winters ("Oz"), Abraham Benrubi ("ER") and Sam Neill ("Jurassic Park"). I’d love to see The CW (I think corporate co-parent CBS owns the rights now) bring back “Twin Peaks” the way it’s bringing back “90210” and “Melrose Place.” Bring back David Lynch and Mark Frost to run it. Imagine retired FBI regional bureau chief Gordon Cole returning to Washington State after 20 years to investigate the sudden and mysterious emergence from the Black Lodge of the good Special Agent Dale Cooper, now clothed in bloody, urine-soaked rags and speaking backward gibberish. Imagine senior FBI agent Chet Desmond spurred by the news to investigate what the evil, imposter Dale Cooper has been building in Twin Peaks for the last two decades (think Kid Miracleman or William Bell)! Imagine a heavily armed survivalist Big Ed living on a remote patch of Indian reservation in a reconstituted Bookhouse. Hire Summer Glau as Deputy Josie Truman. Hire Lauren German as Ben Horne’s Japan-educated granddaughter Cricket. Hire David Bowie to turn up three times a season as timelost FBI man Phillip Jeffries. Find all of Televisionary’s review of “Happy Town” here. Follow Herc on Twitter!

Last week the first six extra-crammed “24” season sets, including the ones with David Palmer and Naked Mandy, sold for $39.99. At the moment they’re all $17.99!! 24 Season One 24 Season Two 24 Season Three 24 Season Four 24 Season Five 24 Season Six

Galactica: The Complete Series Galactica: The Complete Series (Blu-ray)