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Capone bathes in the glorious blue Romulan ale that is J.J. Abrams' STAR TREK!!!

Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here. I've noticed a lot of people who have reviewed this film so far have felt obligated to detail their personal history for the STAR TREK franchise over the decades. Fair enough, although one of many beautiful things about J.J. Abrams' indecently entertaining take on the TREK universe is that it truly doesn't matter how much history you have with many series and feature films. My STAR TREK history is simple: I worshipped the original series, never watched a single episode of any of the follow-up series, and faithfully lined up every few years to see each new film version on the day it opened. I loved that the original series wasn't afraid to laugh at itself as often as it took itself with a degree of seriousness usually reserved for medical dramas or detective shows. When I was young, I never noticed that almost everything was done on the cheap and that Captain Kirk seemed to care as much about his hair and his blinding-glow tan as he did about saving his crew and his ship. I focused on and admired the moral code that Starfleet operated under, and that the show's creators saw space travel as more than just jaunts from the earth to the moon or to Mars. This show was the first indication in my young mind that space went on forever, in every direction. What I've had to endure in recent years (through reportedly subpar TV episodes and lesser films) is a franchise that has been bleeding integrity. J.J. Abrams' job with his new STAR TREK film wasn't to reboot it--anyone who calls this a reboot is truly missing the essence of this movie--it was to save it and breathe new life into it by making us see these characters in ways we'd never dreamed possible. These are the same men and women who took us into space in 1966; none of the characters have been radically reinvented, and their core personality traits and flaws are all still here for all the faithful to see. What Abrams and writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman have done is build a world before the series that will impact the world during and after the series. They haven't hit the 'Reset' button exactly, but they have taken the events we know, rewound them to the beginning, and laid out the possibility that things may not play out the same way the second time around. I'm making this sound far more complicated than it actually is, because what I'm really impressed with is that the creative team behind STAR TREK have made the first real film in the franchise that doesn't feel like an extended version of a TV episode. That said, I have no idea where Abrams and Co. could possibly go from here in a way that won't feel like episodic television. I can't imagine these characters in anyone else's hands right now, or anyone else playing these fine folks, but time will tell. You've probably already read 50 plot synopses of STAR TREK at this point, but let me just point out a few thing I particularly liked. Chris Pine is the shit. He doesn't have to try too hard to remind us that James T. Kirk liked to bed women of every race, type, and species. But I'm guessing that Kirk had just as big a boner when he was doing something death defying as he did when he was mastering the art of interstellar seduction. The man was an adrenaline junkie, and the look in his eyes when he's hanging off an ice cliff or getting ready to trade photon torpedoes with an enemy ship is the same one he has when he sees a new woman he wants to conquer. Pine walks through this film like he's packing a 12-inch stiffy right alongside his phaser. I also like that the film unapologetically acknowledges that Lt. Uhura is a stone cold fox. She was the Pam Grier of the stars, and while Zoe Saldana doesn't quite have the slow-burn quality of Nichelle Nichols, I had no trouble believing that more than one member of this crew had the hots for her. Karl Urban IS Dr. McCoy, plain and simple. Perhaps more than any other cast member, Urban delivers lines that have worked their way into the lexicon, but he manages to do so in a way that sounds like actual dialogue and not like verbal tips of the hat to the series. It kind of gave me chills to hear him say, "Dammit, Jim..." and realize that it was the first of thousands of times he would say it. I love that John Cho's Sulu is a brilliant swordsman and proves it the first chance he gets (and no, that's not a gay joke), and that the on-board computer has trouble penetrating Chekov's (Anton Yelchin) thick Russian accent. Almost more than anything, I love how Mr. Scott (Simon Pegg) is introduced into the story--perhaps a bit too late in the story for my tastes, but Pegg swarthy Scottish accent makes up for his late entry into the plot; I can honestly say I did not see that coming. Eric Bana in full berserker rage plays Nero, a Romulan from the future who couldn't give a shit about the time-space continuum or how badly he's going to fuck up the future by doing things in the past that weren't done the first time around. In fact, that's kind of his point. He effectively creates a world in which people are dead who aren't supposed to be dead, worlds are destroyed that are clearly a full-blown part of the original series and movie worlds. Nero makes us realize that it is time, and not space, that is the final frontier. Bana's performance is almost too good to believe, and you can't quite hate his character because there's clearly so much pain behind his black eyes and warrior face tattoos. His villainy is built on raw emotion; he's carrying the weight of billions of dead Romulans in his heart, and he wants Spock (whose future self is somehow responsible for those deaths) to feel his pain. Nero is one of the most layered and interesting foils these people will every face. So let's talk about the many faces of Spock. One of the best things about STAR TREK is that, with just a few adjustments here and there, the role of Spock from the future (played, of course, by Leonard Nimoy) didn't even have to be in this film. This story could have been told without him, and it would have worked just fine. But by including him and his deep, gravely voice and well-etched wrinkles, we gain a sense of meaning and history in the movie that could not be achieved any other way. More importantly, Spock Prime shows far more of his human side than the young Spock (Zachary Quinto) realizes is possible. Quinto is quite good in this role, especially when he allows his emotions to get the better of him and he lashes out at those who push his buttons. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss Nimoy's baritone voice and rising eyebrow, which always made me laugh. I'm sure after seeing the film a second time that I'll get over these small things…maybe. I'd be horribly remiss if I didn't also say a thing or two about the inclusion of Bruce Greenwood as Capt. Christopher Pike, the Captain of the Enterprise before Kirk. "The Cage" was always one of my favorite "Star Trek" storylines, and I love that Pike's fate in this movie is one of the first indications that the future is being rewritten as the result of Nero's actions. The special effects in STAR TREK are beyond reproach. They are furious and magnificently realized, and it's clear to me that Abrams learned a little something from the way "Battlestar Galactica" space battles were staged and shot. The hand-held quality of these sequences are unmistakable, and the way that the noise from inside a starship turns into dead quiet when a person or shuttle leaves its confines is something I've been dying to see (and hear) for a very long time. Although reviews of this film thus far have been across-the-board positive, this inevitably means that the contrarians are right around the corner. STAR TREK is not perfect (the transitions between deadly serious moments and the often downright silly humor could have been a little less jarring), but it is exactly what I needed to see from this world and these characters. At this point, I think fans (both diehards and the those of the more casual variety) don't need STAR TREK to be perfect; they need it to be good. This film exceeds those desires to be one of the most consistently entertaining large-scale films I've seen in a very long time, one that fulfills the needs of longtime admirers while still acting as an inviting entry point into this corner of the science-fiction galaxy. Whatever your background, I'm guessing the extremely thrilling and satisfying STAR TREK will hit the spot. -- Capone capone@aintitcoolmail.com



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