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"The French Are Pretty Upset." International G.I. JOE Trailer Is Loud, Stupid And Kind Of Wonderful!

Beaks here...

5/1 Update: Turns out that international trailer was an unofficial leak. It's been replaced with the official domestic trailer, which, sadly, lacks the money line from the headline. Boo.

Has the Stephen Sommers who blessed us with the B-movie glory of DEEP RISING returned? It's impossible to tell based on the just-released international trailer for GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA, but anyone with the audacity to cut directly from the toppling of the Eiffel Tower to someone informing the President of the United States that "The French are pretty upset" has to be in on the joke. And, honestly, how can a movie based on a toy line be anything but a joke?

This is excessive in the extreme. Sommers's penchant for CG abuse appears to be perfectly matched to the glaringly unreal universe of GI JOE, while his actors sound like they've been directed to deliver their lines like they've walked straight out of the 1980s cartoon (the highlight being Rachel Nichols's overwrought "We're running out of time! Eject!"). I didn't ask for this movie, but this is exactly what it should be. I just hope Sommers can sustain this nonsense for two hours without wearing us out. Thanks to my pals atCHUD and Latino Review for the heads up.

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