Hey folks Harry here with a report from Cotton, who has just come in from Harlem with a report on the coolest cat in town... SHAFT and who's filling the groove in this Sam Jackson starring vehicle with John "The Man" Singleton at the helm. Here ya go Cotton... sing it...
Hello my man. I know you are curious about Shaft. The remake I mean. Personally I is curious about if the high priest of the bass, Sir Isaac Hayes will be crooning newly recorded music for this badassss movie coming to a theater near you next summer.
Shit, I know you don't give a rat's ass about what I'm wondering. You want to know what it is I gots and how it is you gonna get it. Well my pale round cracker, this first one is free just to get you hooked on me and shit I'll spill.
I know you have heard that John Leguizamo will be playing the bad man that Shaft will inevitably knock the shit out of. Well, that's Peoples Hernandez they wuz talkin' bout.
But here it is, why I am here to talk to you. It seems that the woman playing the fine bit of coffee love is shaping up to be everybody, who's anybody's choice for STORM, Angela Bassett. My friend, this woman will kick your ass and my ass... But the one ass her foot can't and won't reach will be our man John Shaft. He'll bitch slap that woman and make funky sticky love all night long till she cries at the moon. Aw Hell. That's Shaft. You dig it? She'll be playing a fine foxy detective woman out to pull her own weight. We'll see about that.
Also it is looking like Dan Hedaya, ya that man playing DICK this summer, will be in as Jack, Shaft's man covering his back and all.
That's what you is gettin from me this time. Next time there'll be more. I just want you to know that this film is gonna kick your balls so hard you'll spit em out and use em as Benwas.
Cotton
