What the hell is this crap about John Brown becoming INSPECTOR GADGET? John Brown was the man that fought Jeb Stuart in the pre-years before the Civil War... When he was attempting to raise awareness of slavery as a moral wrong that must be righted. Ya know... I really don't want to see this movie. I love INSPECTOR GADGET the character and the cartoon... My fear of it being a bastardized version... well, this review didn't unconfirm that fear. Sigh... Well, the Spyder delicately walks this earth on translucent webs of his own construction... but he also dabbles in spoilers a bit, so beware...
"Along came A Spyder..."
Hail Mighty Harry and Crew,
Long time reader, first time writer. I don't know if this movie is of any interest or not, but I don't get to many screenings, and figured I oughta write a quick review when I had the chance.
I was able to see Disney's latest turn-a-TV-show-into-a-spectacle attempt, "Inspector Gadget." After having skipped their rendition of "My Favorite Martian," I probably would have passed on this one, too, but I had free passes by way of a friend. What can I say, I have no pride. I decsended from my web, hopped in the Spydermobile, and spun my way over the the multiplex.
"Inspector Gadget" opens next Friday, so what I saw was probably the final version of the film (nothing rough, score or FX). I should warn folks now that this little review may contain some spoilers. I wouldn't exactly call them the typical ruin-the-plot variety of spoilers, but they do give away the few times in the movie I actually laughed.
First off I must confess: I once had an ambition to write a "Gadget" adaptation of my very own, many years back. My version would have been a drastic departure from the cartoon series and this Disney version (envision "Robocop" meets "Virtuosity", with a dash of James Bond -- less kid friendly, more kick-ass). However, knowing that the Mouse Empire must remain kid friendly, I had no problem with an adaptation that would have been more in line with the cartoon series.
This didn't quite measure up to my hopes, though.
What I had hoped for was something like the cartoon series' style of keeping the rest of the Gadget supporting cast fairly grounded, and leaving the bungling Inspector to be the most cartoonish in personality and actions. The contrast between the over-zealous Inspector and the rest of the "real" world could have provided a lot of well-written laughs. The movie took everyone into a fairly cartoon state; fine for Sheri Oteri's mayor, a political parody well acted, but a little too far for everyone else (especially for a veteran like Dabney Coleman who could have provided a grounded anchor for the rest).
The setup: John Brown (Matthew Broderick), well-meaning security guard and Riverton Police Academy hopeful, is on duty at the Bradford Robotics Lab where Dr. Brenda Bradford (attractive Jolie Fisher) and her husband (ST: DS9's Odo, Rene Auberjonois) are working on a crucial piece of their Gadget project, a robotic foot. In bursts automated thugs, courtesy of soon-to-be "Claw" Sanford Scolex (Rupert Everett). The robots steal the foot, whack the father and make their escape. Swearing to bring her father's killer to justice, Brown hops into his trusty Chevette and speeds off in pursuit of the bad guys. The ensuing chase results in Brown being blown very nearly to bits, and Solex's hand smashed, thus paving the way for the creations of Inspector Gadget and Claw.
I won't bore you with the rest of the plot, because there isn't much of one. A lot of the connective tissue of the movie is either omitted, or breezed past quickly to get on with the next sight-gag (upon which the movie depends for most of its quickly fading laughs).
Broderick is fine as the Inspector. It's a fairly over-the-top kind of role, but he does manage to convey at least a little of the "heart" that supposedly powers his robotic body. (part of a weakly played way of saying he doesn't need the little black feather to be himself)
Scolex is a poorly motivated bad guy whose true intentions aren't revealed until rather late in the film. The appeal of Claw in the cartoon series was that you never saw him, but you knew he was fairly diabolical (with that great raspy voice). Everett may only have been following orders with his rendition of the villain, but I didn't ever really see him as much of a threat. They never really do much with the whole "Claw" thing, other than the line you hear in the trailers: "Just 'Claw.' One word. Like Madonna." The character is pretty much Scolex wearing a claw, rather than some wicked bad-guy named "Claw." There was nothing terribly sinister about him. It would have been more intresting to see less of him up front, building the sense of a sinister villain, with a spectacular pay-off towards the end.
Aside from that, I'm almost positive the claw jumps from his left hand to his right during the final sequences. (watch the grab-Brenda-and-fly-a-helicopter-at-the-same-time sequence, and judge for yourself.) There are a few other technical gaffs (night becomes day really quickly after the Inspector is rescued from the junk-heap), but nothing that your kids will notice.
Those zany Disney folks made the Gadgetmobile a character unto itself, voiced by D.L. Hughley (ABC's "The Hughley's"). Though Hughley did a fine job with his dialogue, the car idea is a little too cutsey-kid-friendly. The editing (or directing, who knows) pieced his bits together so rabid-fire that it's tough to follow his comedic quips during the sequence where Gadget is first introduced to the car. An interesting idea, a la "Knight Rider," but one that could have been pulled off with a little more finesse.
Gadget is more or less tossed into the police force, which does provide a bit of animosity for between Quimby and Gadget, but that whole angle could have been handled a little more satisfactorily. There are a few ad hoc "training" scenes where Gadget learns his abilities (sort of), but would have been far more effective is to have thrown the "Inspector" into the Academy he once dreamed of attending, and having the cartoonish antics of Gadget play off of the other, legitimate, recruits.
Product placement reaches new hieghts in this film, or at least more blatant levels. Scolex's limo is smashed by a "Yahoo!" billboard, as the trademark yodel plays over the sign's descent. The Gadgetmobile is well stocked with Coca-Cola and M&M/Mars dispenser (which does lead up to one pretty funny line, "I got the Skittles kicked out of me."). A Sharper Image catalog with Gadget's picture on it flies across the screen during a publicity montage; the same catalog in the mailboxes of Sharper Image customers this week. The list goes on.
There are really only a few moments where I actually laughed out loud. I won't spoil them for you here, since they may be the only really pleasant surprises you get out of the movie.
For all it's shortcomings in the writing department, the film does play up the "all you really need is heart" theme, and is fairly kid friendly. Though the theme itself is treated pretty lightly (this film's a fair amount of fluff, unsurprisingly). Lots of physical comedy, with just barely enough insider jokes thrown in to keep the adult-movie-saavy audience at least paying attention. Not nearly as emotionally engaging as "Tarzan," Disney's latest animated entry. For all the live-action and special effects, this is much more of a cartoon.
If you've got kids, and need a matinee to take them to in order to enjoy some air-conditioning, this one's alright. Not great. I'd pick "Tarzan" over it, myself.
If you're not going just to entertain kids, then you may want to pass. I found the film lacking in the writing, and rather disjointed in many places. The bad guy isn't terribly satisfying, but then again, this is for kids. Go see "Lake Placid" and root for the aligator (haven't seen it yet myself, but I'll probably be cheering for Bridget Fonda when I do).
Hopefully, I'll get to see an advance of one of Disney's next big flix, "The 13th Warrior," with Antonio Banderas. Haven't read "Eaters of the Dead," but the advance trailers have really got me excited about the film.
Back on the web until the next screening,
A Spyder
