Hey folks, once again our man in Chicago, CAPONE, has come through with a look at an upcoming film... DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. And there are slight spoilers, so for you non-spoiler fans just know that he thought bits were funny but that overall the film was.... so-so. If you were to judge from this review, it sounds like a cable viewing or second run theater. But... that's just by this review... Here's Capone....
Hey Harry, Capone in Chicago here with a review of "Drop Dead Gorgeous."
As much as I didn't want to, I had to ask myself a lot of questions about this movie a lot after seeing it. Was it funny? Was is crude in a clever way or just crude? Will Kirstie Alley ever stop trying to pretend she's sexy or talented? What lengths would I go to to shag Kirsten Dunst and Denise Richards, separately or as a Capone Sandwich? These were all tough questions.
"Drop Dead Gorgeous" takes the form of a mock-umentary (for what reason, I don't know) directed by an unseen but often-heard director (voiced by actual director and former member of MTV's "The State" Michael Patrick Jann, currently the emcee on "Viva Variety."). The story follows the many stages of a beauty pageant in a small Minnesota town. The winner of this pageant goes onto the state finals, and possibly the nationals. The never-funny Kirstie Alley plays the pageant's coordinator, who also happens to be mother to Denise Richards rich, bitchy (and possibly criminal) contestant Rebecca. Kirsten Dunst plays the saintly but poor Amber: trailer trash that wants to win this contest and go on to a career as a television journalist just like her hero Diane Sawyer.
Denise Richards talent as an actress is her uncanny ability to go from queen bitch to sweet and innocent in the blink of an eye. And that's essentially what she does throughout this film. Kirsten Dunst is a star about to happen. I've been keeping an eye on her since "Little Women" and "Interview with a Vampire" and more recently in "Wag the Dog," "Small Soldiers," and a gutsy stint on "E.R." I read Moriarity's review of "Dick" recently and his assessment is right on the money. Not only is she a hottie, she can act circles around most of the more veteran actors in this film, such as Ellen Barkin who plays her mom and is essentially a walking site gag (involving a beer can) through most of this film. The only actress that can match talent with Dunst in the excellent character actress Allison Janney, playing a neighbor of Dunst's in the trailer park where they reside.
As for the film, I'd say it's about 35% crudely hysterical, 45% smile inducing, and 20% unfunny. The filmmakers made one crucial error: setting it in Minnesota and thinking that the accents alone would make us laugh. Sorry guys. "Fargo" ruined any future potential for laughs at the expense of that horrible accent. We've heard it, it's been done, it's no longer going to shock us the way it might have before "Fargo." This is not an opinion; it's simply a fact.
The parts of "Drop Dead Gorgeous" that involve the parents are obvious, overacted (not like Kirstie Alley know how to do anything but), and cliche. The parts involving the contestants and their preparation for the pageant are great. Some scenes here, especially ones involving the Eating Disorder wing of a hospital, may even reach a new level of crudeness. Unfortunately some of it seems unnecessary. I don't mean to sound like a prude, because I loved "American Pie," "South Park," and "There's Something about Mary" immensely, but in this movie the off-color jokes feel forced about half the time. The actual pageant is great and nearly every moment with Dunst and /or Richards in it that doesn't involved their parent is funny as hell. Some moments with the film crew are amusing. And there's a subplot involving the content judges that is just creepy. But just when I started to fall for this film, something decidedly unfunny would happen,usually in the form of....you guessed it...Kirstie Alley. Damn is she just plain ol' not funny or sexy or interesting. She is cardboard cutout mom living vicariously through daughter. Yawn.
This movie was aspiring to be the standard for this kind of film, "The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom," which put Holly Hunter in a whole new light for me. In that film, the parents were believable in their insanity. Here, they might as well be standing next to Bugs Bunny for all their cartoonishness. If you need to get your fix of teen hotties, this is the place to go (also in the cast of contestants is Brittany Murphy from "Clueless"; and a blonde-haired Mindy Sterling, Frau Farbissina in "Austin Powers"), but don't expect to see anything inspired. And please, someone, launch Kirstie Alley to the dark side of the fucking moon!
Capone
