Harry's MODEST PROPOSAL for the Film Industry

How do we fix what is wrong with the rating’s board... The MPAA?

This has been an issue that has been building and building up to a boil for quite some time now, and something has to be done about it.

Right now in this country we do not have a viable adult rating for the Motion Picture Industry. As a result many stories that are simply ‘Adult’ can not have a fair shot at release.

Sure we do have the NC-17 rating. In principle it is a workable concept, but the way it was enacted. The way Newspapers, Television and the Theaters themselves treat it... Well, it might as well be pornography.

I’ve been asking around the industry, trying to get some answers. Grasping at straws of wisdom hoping to turn a bit of it to gold. Not to line my pockets, but to put forth an idea that could help solve this problem.

One filmmaker (a notable writer/director) actually said to me that he wished that something like the old Hays Office was here again. That way he would know exactly where he stood. What he could and could not show... Definitively.

My God. I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. I flashed to PLEASANTVILLE where an exasperated accused artist asks of the judge which colors he could paint with, what was forbidden and what was allowed. That all he wanted was to be able to paint without worry.

Have we really subjected our artists to this sort of hopelessness?

That’s not what the MPAA was built for.

So, what was the MPAA created for? Why did Jack Valenti set out upon this enterprise? Well, let’s give Jack the floor....

"It was plain that the old system of self-regulation, begun with the formation of the MPAA in 1922, had broken down. What few threads there were holding together the structure created by Will Hays, one of my two predecessors, had now snapped. From the very first day of my own succession to the MPAA President's office, I had sniffed the Production Code constructed by the Hays Office. There was about this stern, forbidding catalogue of 'Dos and Don'ts' the odious smell of censorship. I determined to junk it at the first opportune moment." -- Jack Valenti

Well Jack.... It is now plain that the current system of anonymous regulation beginning with your term as President of the MPAA has broken down. The secret catalogue of ‘Dos and Don’ts’ that the secret society that you preside over uses to judge films has the odious smell of censorship. I feel determined to advocate for the Film Industry to junk it at the first opportune moment.

Jack claims that the MPAA is not about approving or disapproving film content, but rather the primary task of the MPAA is to give advance cautionary warnings to parents. To help them in their decision about the moviegoing of their children.

That’s all lovely and all, but why then did the MPAA work hand in hand with Warner Brothers on EYES WIDE SHUT and point out exactly what was WRONG with this scene and that one. Offering up advice as to how it could be made.... Acceptable.

You know... Michelangelo really should have placed a figleaf over his “David’s” genitalia. With a few strokes of a paintbrush... a click or two of a mouse, we can now cover up offensive material. Perhaps we could take a chisel and turn “DAVID” into a eunuch. That way we could admire, the majority of the original artist’s work. All the non-offensive areas anyway.

Alright, I’ve been complaining thus far but I haven’t really come up with anything to fix things as they stand.

I decided to write Roger Ebert and ask him for advice. Afterall, Roger was the most vocal critic at the presentation of EYES WIDE SHUT the other night on the Warner Lot.

Here is Roger’s complete answer:

“I think, and have long said, that if we are to have the MPAA system at all, it needs a WORKABLE adult category. NC-17 has now clearly been rendered unusable, just as X was, because it is identified with pornography. There needs to be an A (for adult) category BETWEEN the R and the NC-17.

NC-17 should be renamed X, a useful category that everybody understands. It would stand for porno, pornographic violence, etc. ‘A’ would be for adults only and would include such films as the uncut "EWS" and "Natural Born Killers." Theaters, newspapers and broadcast outlets that currently ban NC-17 would ban X (or NC-17) but would show A, especially since they could still get points for saying they didn't accept X.

As things now stand, the U.S. is the only major moviegoing nation with no workable adult classification! Every single movie made by a major Hollywood studio can be seen by anyone of any age (with an "adult guardian," of course).

Best,

R”

The rating A. I like that. It can stand for Adult or Art or Acceptable. A rating between R and NC-17. The problem is whether or not it would be an acceptable rating that theaters would show like any other, if television and newspapers would carry the ads like all other film ads. That’s the big key.

Would it be Allowed as a viable rating?

A long time ago the Comic Book industry had a similar ‘ratings board’. From time to time the writers and artists wanted to deal with issues that just were not ‘kiddie’ fare.

Drugs were coming into the mainstream and they wanted to have the characters in their universe dealing with those real world issues. So the big companies... Marvel and D.C. released the issues unrated by the board. They did this more and more often till finally they bowed to no ‘ratings board’.

From the advance reviews of EYES WIDE SHUT it seems at it’s core to be a morality play. Before Dante saw Heaven he first had to see Hell. It’s part of the coin. Good and Evil, Right and Wrong.... It’s all part of the same story.

Perhaps like that so called juvenile medium of comics, it is now time for films to grow up. We are no longer the society we once were. Information and awareness to the forbidden is accessible far earlier in one’s life than it once was.

I believe that there at least needs to be a separate Appeals Board. A place where filmmakers can plead their case. No... You know, I don’t think that is needed.

I don’t believe filmmakers should plead their case. An artist should not ‘ask’ permission or plead forgiveness. Instead, perhaps what needs to happen is when a filmmaker ‘tests’ his film, that an audience. A full and normal audience made up of regular people. Folks like you and me. That a new question needs to appear on the bottom of the card.

Perhaps something along the lines of:

“This film should be rated:

A) G - a film for all audiences and age groups.

B) PG- a film where we advise the parent to attend the film with their child.

C) PG-13 - a film where no child under the age of 13 is allowed admittance to the theater without an adult.

D) R - a film of adult nature where all 17 and under age children must be accompanied by an Adult.

E) A - a film of merit that is meant exclusively for legal Adults, and for which no child will be admitted.

F) X - a work of pornography, no artistic merit, for Adults only.”

The screening of this nature can be attended only by adults, and would be monitored closely by an outside organization created by a board of governors made up of representatives of each distribution company. Majors and Independents. The ‘adult’ audience would need to be made up of at least 50% parental couples. The other half would be merely adults. Our children are raised as much by society as they are by parents. It is only fitting that the decisions about the viewing of our youth at least have the feedback of mere adults. Also the screenings would take place in a single theater. The audience would be paid to attend and would never be told in advance what type of film they were seeing. The recruiters simply would not know what the screening film would be.

Ok... Now I may be judged as being naive. I may be young. At 27, you could say I’ve never raised a child. However, given my mother’s alcoholism, I had to raise my sister and teach her right and wrong from the age of 2 till this very day. When my mother died 6 years ago my sister came to live with my father and I. When my sister wanted to know about drugs, school, God, sex, etc. She came to me. She graduated High School. She has never been arrested. She is the fiancee of a young upstanding young man, and she is set to go to college. On Father’s Day, my sister gets gifts for Dad and me.

I raised her on film, explained to her what was going on. Taught her about film makeup. When she wanted to know about Serial Killers, I gave her all the information. Talked with her about Criminal Psychology. Now, Dannie is heading to college to study law enforcement and art. I did not mess up. I do have a say in this.

It may not be the perfect fix, but at least I offer up a suggestion for a different way of doing things instead of just complaining. It’s time to stop complaining and fix the problem as it faces us.

This is merely my suggestion for an alternative.