L.A. Readers! Fifteen Of You Are Going To See QUANTUM OF SOLACE Early!

Beaks here...

On November 11th at 7 PM PST at an undisclosed location here in Los Angeles, there is going to be a "fan screening" of the twenty-second installment in the James Bond franchise, QUANTUM OF SOLACE. And, thanks to Sony, we've got fifteen (15) tickets to give away to AICN's most obsessive 007 geeks residing in the greater Los Angeles area. Wanna go? Here's what you've got to do: send me an email with the subject header "QoS Tix", and hit me with a classic Bond quip involving either of the new Bond girls: Gemma Arterton's MI6 agent, "Strawberry Fields" or Olga Kurylenko's "Camille". All manner of quips are welcome. Be as nasty or corny or obscure as you want to be: you can go with a double entendre or just be unabashedly crude. And if you're feeling ambitious, feel free to provide a little context to put the joke over (allow me to stress "a little"; anything approaching slash fic will result in immediate disqualification). I really don't care what you do: just make me laugh and/or groan. Is all of this in direct opposition to the dour direction of the new Bond? Unquestionably. But you're not a true 007 fan in my book if you don't, on some level, love the worst excesses of the Connery and Moore Bonds. One entry per email address will be accepted. If you submit multiple emails, your initial entry will be trashed as well. Just so we're clear, here's what I need: 1) Email w/ subject header: "QoS" Tix 2) Quip 3) Your name and address I'll give you until Friday, November 7th @ 5 PM PST to impress me. If you need some inspiration, here's Pearl & Dean's list of the 10 "sauciest" Bond lines (via MI6):

1. "I think he's attempting re-entry." - MOONRAKER (1979) 2. "I thought Christmas comes just once a year." Bond to Dr Christmas Jones in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999) 3. "Just keeping the British end up." - Bond to Sir Frederick Gray in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1977) 4. "I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up." - Bond to a gunman in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971) 5. "You appear tense... that's too bad. Going down, one should always be relaxed." Bond to 007 girl Fatima in NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983) 6. "When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into it's treasures." - Bond in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1979) 7. "It's just the right size - for me, that is." - Bond talking about 007 girl Tatiana's mouth in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963) 8. "The bubbles tickle my... Tchaikovsky." - Bond girl Pola in A VIEW TO A KILL (1985) 9. "Something big's come up." - Bond to 007 girl Jill Masterson in GOLDFINGER (1964) 10. "I think I will enjoy serving you very much." Bond girl Aki to 007 in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967)