Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. It’s funny... there are many film geeks I know who have a general dislike of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 because they see it as a mockery of film, and also because they hate the copycats, people who sit through movies in public, making comments loudly. Harry’s never been a fan, for example. I am a MST fan, though, and this letter from a guy who went to see a live performance of a new venture called Cinematic Titanic is a really fun read if you’re one as well:
Harry- I just wanted to share a bit of Geekery with you guys on this, the first day of the 24th year of the Great Homsar. For a birthday present, my wife, a co-worker, his wife, and I (no, no, I'm not going to finish this sentence the way you might think)...went up to Big D to check out the 20th anniversary celebration of Mystery Science Theater 3000 at the USA Film Festival. Afterwards, we bought tickets to a live riffing session of Cinematic Titanic, Joel Hodgson's latest project with long-time collaborators Mary Jo Piehl, Frank Conniff, Trace Beaulieu, and J. Elvis Weinstein. I don't know if CT plans to release the film we saw at the Angelika Theater as their next DVD, but I've definitely got my fingers, toes, and various other appendages crossed. For two hours the sold-out audience was subjected to "Wasp Woman," the cinematic equivalent of a dysentery sandwich covered in syphilis sauce. Who directed this pungent turd of a film? Who else- Roger Corman. The collective groan of the audience when the director's credit appeared was almost as funny as some of the riffs from the performers. For those unfamiliar with Cinematic Titanic, the five comedians sit at various points around the bottom of the screen (or in our case, on the front row of the theater with microphones) and mercilessly shred these god-awful "films" until the laughter begins to numb the searing pain in your skull which inevitably develops after the first ten minutes. Is "Wasp Woman" the worst movie ever made? No, not even in the league for the bottom 10. But it lingers somewhere dangerously close to number 11 in my book. The movie centers around some screwball scheme to extract jelly from the queen wasp in order to reverse the effects of aging. None of the so-called plot really matters though, since it's all just an excuse to throw together god-awful acting with even more ridiculous monster makeup. The usual cardboard characters, xylophone-centered musical score, tin-ear dialogue, and piss-poor special effects left me pining for the relative technical mastery of "Girl in Gold Boots" or "Mitchell." The riffing, however, was absolute gold. For the first ten minutes not a single joke fell flat- it was as if the glory days of MST3K had magically returned and I was somehow on board the Satellite of Love joining in on the wisecracking. By the time the main character, a cosmetics CEO/dedicated ice-bitch, had morphed into a half corporate tool/half wasp, I could hardly breathe from the constant hysterics. Mary Jo's commentary had vastly improved from the first Cinematic Titanic (I think she had the best line of the night, one which I won't spoil here but will mention that it involves a character reading a very unique kind of "journal"). Afterwards, we stood in line for the obligatory autograph signing. Some of the merchandise people brought put my pitiful $10 poster to shame; I think the highlight of the night was watching the look on the guy's face when Joel signed his life-size Tom Servo model. A friend of my co-worker actually was assembling his own Crow T. Robot and got the mouthpiece signed as well. The CT cast were all very friendly and managed to interact for a good couple of minutes with each gushing geek that came by. Naturally, I managed to stammer a weak-ass "uhh, it's very nice to meet you" to each of them before clutching my newly-signed poster to my chest and making my way to the exit. I mean, this was my Graceland. Seriously. All in all, the signs seem to be good that Cinematic Titanic will continue to provide snarky, highly-referential satisfaction to the "misties" out there who lament the passing of one of the greatest shows on TV. If you can find a use for this, call me TheGreatHomsar.