Every now and again, I get a spy that... disturbs me. This fella, named himself, "Patrick Bateman, a real American Psycho." Be... Afraid. Anyway, I hope this genuine American Psycho comes to be a constant contributor, but... It's only a matter of time before the proper authorities seek him out. Remember, this review is of an incomplete movie, that is still in it's finishing processes. So take note...
Harry-
I’ve never written to you before, but that’s because I’ve never really had a reason. But last night I saw a sneak peak at a little movie called “Mystery Men”… and lets just say, its something worth writing in about.
I heard about the screening at Universal city at about 3:00pm, got in my car and shot up there. 5:30 I was in line- ticketless. By 6:00 I had a ticket (thanks Andrew) and I was moving into the theater. The lights dimmed, the crowd got a little rowdy, and heres what I saw (I’ll keep it spoiler free….)
In case someone’s been living on Mars for the past year, heres a little background on the movie: it’s the story of a group of misfit wannabe superheros who band together to save the city when its true superhero (Captain Amazing/Millionaire Lance Hunt/Greg Kinnear) is captured by his arch enemy (Cassanova Frankenstein/Geoffrey Rush).
The first thing I noticed was the enormity of the movie, everything about it was huge.. the sets, the stars, even the effects (which weren’t quite finished). First, the stars… who isn’t in this movie? Ben Stiller, Janeanne Garofolo, and Hank Azaria were great as always. These guys are great actors and they did what they always do. The standouts, however, were the other members of the team Paul Ruebens played The Spleen (a grotesque whos powers were his bodily functions). One thing to say PEE WEE IS BACK!!!! Kel Mitchel was hysterical, as was straight faced Bill Macy (the Shovler). The villains, unfortunately, were a little weaker- Geoffrey Rush as Cassanova Frankenstein was good, but not amazing. Lena Olin as his girlfriend- why was she in the movie again? The two other main bad guys (one white, one black) were great together, but indivually they were just ok.
One super standout: Greg Kinnear. He is the man and this role proves it. We’ve seen him in dramas, romantic comedies, and now this. His role is so subtley funny its Amazing (pun intended.).
Ok, I’m stopping about the cast. The sets were great, the effects were good but not done. Now this movie was far from perfect, and not yet finished. So here are my suggestions (this is the part the director, producers, and especially the FILM EDITOR!!! Should look at:
Ok guys the biggest mistake is the length. Please, for the love of God, take 15 minutes out of this movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every scene in this movie could have been trimmed. Please editor: shorten the opening fight scene, shorten the training scenes, take frames out of every shot in this movie and it will be that much better.
Here’s my biggest problem. It really dragged near the end. Theres this one part where Macy makes a speech. I won’t tell you what he says, but its one of those sappy ra ra sis boom ba speeches where you’re ready to stand up and go kick Cassanova’s ass yourself… but then what happens? Nothing. They don’t go kick ass! They go say good bye to their loved ones. Which in Macy’s case was funny. But then in Stillers case there is this entire subplot about his love making him lose his superpowers. Which sucked. So here’s my suggestion. EDITOR THIS IS FOR YOU!!!!!! Take this entire stupid subplot out of the movie. It can easily be cut out in its entirety. Have them build the battle tank before Macy’s speech and have them go kick ass when we’re all in the mood!
Ok, a few more things. When did Cassanova kidnap Claire Forlani? Why did he kill Olin (and why was she in the movie again?). Why is the white bad boy (not Cassanova) in so much of the movie? He wasn’t that good. I’m a big Claire Forlani fan, but her part either wasn’t big enough or was too big… I can’t decide.
And DIRECTOR THIS IF FOR YOU: Please add more sappy speeches like the one macy gave to his men, that shot of all of them walking down the street all bad ass was amazing.
To sum up my ramblings: Everything about Mystery Men was amazing, it was just too long!!!! This is guaranteed going to be one of the biggest hits of the summer if they just make it short enough that everyone can sit through it more than once!
Patrick Bateman, the greatest american psycho... Patrick Bateman is here...
