Here's Hooper's look at a film called THE CHILL FACTOR, a movie coming out sometime around June 1st. The director, Hugh Johnson is mainly known as being Ridley Scott's DP on WHITE SQUALL and G.I.JANE... as well as the 2nd Unit Director on 1492 and G.I.JANE. So... it's up in the air as to what type of director he'll be, but certainly this'll be our first peek at him.... Here we go...
hello there my friends, this is hooper.....uh, wait whos hooper? is he that guy thats mentioned going to screenings with the rest of the aicn gang from time to time?....of course you morons, who else would it be?....well, whats he doing writing us, he never writes us, besides i thought he was just a tag-along.....enough of that ugliness you monsters, im trying to get something done here and its hard to see straight with those lines of nastiness flying past my head at a millon-miles-a-minute, be patient and all your questions will be answered in time, youre soiling my air for christsakes...... anyway, like i was saying, i woke up some day in feburary and figured it was time to head out west as it were, and why not, what better of a way to lose myself than in l.a. the climate was cool, the hills were high, and the smog was dense, i could hardly make out the signs on the street, it was embarrassing and self compromising nonetheless.
as i walked through the hollywood hills on my new bike i noticed myself being suckered toward a man, a short fat man, the kind you might mistake for danny devito on a hot day, only not as good looking. he was, ugly needless to say, but that didnt impare his charisma on the surrounding social conditions. as i got closer i came to the conclusion that this little fat man started to multiply into an entire gang of little fat men, and before i knew it i was surrounded by a squadron of little fat men. then suddenly, SMACK, what was going on?..was i just hit in the back of the cranium with the quick thrust of a cast iron frying pan causing me to lose my footing and fall unconcious on the floor?.. yes i was, im afraid i had been brain- panned, and i was out cold. when i came to, i found myself in the midst of a large dark room surrounded by what seemed to be a large crowd of popcorn eating freaks as i remember it. and thats just what they were, freaks eating popcorn. " but what was the occasion," i asked myself, then a large voice soared through my ears screaming " chill factor, you know, the new film with skeet ulrich and cuba gooding jr. directed by the guy who was the cinematographer for g.i. jane and white squall thats due out this june or sometime there abouts!!!" upon hearing this id realized it was the man seated to my left that was screaming this at me, so i slapped him, stole his popcorn and demanded that he give me his wallet or suffer the consequences, i had no further problems with this man. at that point the film had begun..what was i in for?..i knew nothing of this film,..would i enjoy this supposed "chill factor" or just consider it a valid waste of time? when it was all said and done i had baffled myself, for i had enjoyed it and considered it a valid waste of time. the premise of this film is as follows: two men are forced to be friends because one has an ice cream truck and the other doesnt, thus the plot thickens. the guy without the ice cream truck (skeet ulrich) has another friend who is a scientist working for the government thats trying ! to keep a top secret biological chemical annihilation warfare weapon away from american terrorist hands and ends up sticking it with the guy without the ice cream truck. the plot gets even thicker, this new secret weapon happens to be temperature sensitive and if it reaches a temperature above 50 degrees farenhiet it will ignite sending great waves of radiation through the air creating massive amounts of damage. all of a sudden the guy without the ice cream truck needs the guy with the ice cream truck (cuba gooding jr.) to keep this weapon below 50 degrees farenheit, and from this the story unfolds. i asked myself " was i to be bothered by these unoriginal plot dynamics that closely resemble those of a film called speed?" i found that i was bothered, but only minimally. i saw moments with this film, moments created by cinesite hollywood. moments of human beings being fried alive and burnt to smithereens by great blasts of radiation, most namely in the first ten minutes of the film. if you have no other reason to see this film then i would have to say that this is reason enough my friends. the characters were fine, just fine, nothing better, nothing worse. skeet ulrich played the nice guy with a rebelious backwoodsy loner thing, a performance that was mediocre but served its purpose. and cuba gooding jr. played that nice charismatic guy that were all so used to seeing by now, but with just a hint of a temper, you know, the kind of guy everybody wants as a best friend.
i felt the two had an interesting chemistry that i was wary about at first but it seemed to work itself out. keep in mind that this was a test screening, and like most test screenings, it had a temp track, and like most temp tracks, it sucked. and it didnt just suck, it was the kind of temp track where you sit there and say to yourself "gee, id really like this scene a whole lot more if that bad music wasnt surrounding it left and right," but hopefully theyve suited it to something a little bit more favorable. another thing i noticed about this film is that it had one oddly placed female in it, the model turned actor type, but i guess if you plan on oddly placing a female in a film, shes just the type to do it with. this film had great action scenes, as i noted before, the kind that absolutely have no meaning other than to entertain, the kind created there in movie land, highly unreal and most likely unbeleivable, the kind america is known for. all in all this was a film that resembled a sine wave of great peaks and valleys, and it definately had its slow moments, but just when you get sick of the lulls it snaps back in, creating a strange and somewhat inconsistent flow of dynamics. oh yes, dont let me forget, i also recall a group of cops that were somewhere along the lines of bad, lame, or just plain horrible. but in the end i felt entertained, even though it highly lacked some of the components that would otherwise make a film well rounded. so if you want entertainment, thats exactly what this is, entertainment ! the american way.
