I am – Hercules!! “Torchwood” – the “Doctor Who” spinoff from “Queer As Folk” creator Russell Davies that leeched away a lot of the ambiguity that attended the homosexuality in the “Doctor Who” universe – launches a second season tonight on BBC America. BBC2 broadcast the premiere about a week and a half ago in Great Britain, and a number of our limey cousins gauge the quality of James “Spike Brainiac” Marsters’ much-anticipated guest-star performance! “Kelvington” says “it’s one thing to play British on an American show, but to do it on a British show is something else entirely, and James Marsters does it very well”:

Torchwood 2.01 When we last left the Torchwood team there was the sound of the TARDIS and a missing Jack, when we rejoin the team, they appear on their own and Jack is nowhere in sight. The opening of the episode sets a great tone as the group have a car chace with a blowfish. Yes, you read that right, a blowfish, driving a rather nice ride I might add. I wish they would have called this episode “One Fish, Two Fish, Three Fish Blowfish, or How I learned to Pimp My aquarium”. But they didn’t. The theme is slightly updated, the voice over is gone, the music is a little darker, and by the end of the teaser Jack is back and with just a slight mention of “The Doctor”, it now appears that very much like “Primeval” where there are rifts that open up and people and things, like blowfish man, and Spike just walk on through. As for Spike well he’s toting some Lara Croft type heat as he clears out a bar, it’s one thing to play British on an American show, but to do it on a British show is something else entirely, and James Marsters does it very well. With a very stupid nod to Star Wars, Captain Jack meets up with Captain John another time agent. They engage in that whole “Moonlighting” slapping fighting foreplay thing as they tear up the bar, leaving the gang behind. The dialog has been punched up from last year, or it’s much tighter editing, I haven’t decided which. We find out there’s only seven time agents left in the Universe and that there are some radioactive devices in the city. So the two Captains are going to find them. Captain Jack has been away long enough for Gwen to get engaged and become a real force in the team. Everyone breaks up into teams to find the devices, Gwen and Spike find the first one, and Spike lips locks Gwen with some “Poison Ivy” lip gloss that leaves her paralyzed and dying in a cargo tanker. Then he goes after the second one, and takes out Sato and Harper. That leaves Captain Jack and Ianto to find the last one. One cool thing about HD and the way the show is shot this year, is some of the small details that can now be seen, one of the best examples is that the guns the team use, actually say “TORCHWOOD” on them, which isn’t very Doctor Who PC if you ask me, since the Doctor never likes to use a gun. Of course once the devices are found it’s only half of the story, and if you are not a fan of heights or falling to your death occupies your dreams, this is probably not a good episode for you to get back into the series. It turns out it’s all about money and a thing, which in the end turns out to be a bomb. By the end of the show we suspect that Jack has a son and the trailer for the rest of the series shows us a bound Martha Jones (very nice), and more critters than you can shake a stick at, plus we haven’t seen the last of Spike. A lot will be said and bitched about with the whole gay thing. First, get over it. Second, seriously get over it. There isn’t any gay porn here, there are just a few lip locks and some innuendo, too bad I wouldn’t mind seeing Gwen get her kit off. But so much has been made about the gay thing, Jack and Spike aren’t gay, they are just sexual, men, women, perhaps some canines thrown in for good measure but it’s just what they are. It’s handled well, it’s never icky, and it’s about time we all just grew up. Overall the show is a lot slicker than last season, and the characters seem to have found their niches in the team, I don’t know if the confidence of being renewed or that the actors are just more comfortable in their parts, but “Torchwood” is getting better and I for one can’t wait to see the rest of the series. Just my 2¢

“Palimpsest” calls Marsters character “half Adam Ant, half Han Solo, and huge amounts of fun”:

Episode title: "Kiss Kiss, Bang, Bang" Writer: Chris Chibnall Director: Ashley Way Well, Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) is back on Earth, and back with the Torchwood crew. Their ongoing mission? To guard a rift in space-time that's handily opened in Cardiff city centre. Harkness is dealing with the complicated interpersonal issues left over after the frankly hit-and-miss first season, as well as being mistrusted by the rest of the outfit, who begrudge him swanning off whenever guest-star duties on WHO demand it. This week, the random plot generator coughs up the Buffyverse's own James Marsters as a rival Time Agent to Harkness, playing to the hilt as a bisexual space pirate. He's half Adam Ant, half Han Solo, and huge amounts of fun he is too. He's come to Earth after three mystery canisters of finest MacGuffin, and soon disrupts what little harmony exists between the Torchwood members, by alternately seducing and beating up, well, pretty much everyone. Marsters is established as a recurring character by the ep's end, and we're promised something more of a season-long story arc and more revelations about Harkness than the strictly monster-of-the-week fare that was served up all too often last year. Yes, the show's still as camp as Christmas round at John Waters' house, but the good news is that there seems to be a greater control over the material this time round. The profanity and sexualised elements have been toned down a touch, and the action and banter ramped up. The production values are excellent for the BBC (perhaps faint praise, but there you go), series lead writer Chris Chibnall's script is witty, and wisely tongue-in-cheek and character-focused, and the direction and lighting work well. All in all, it bodes well for series two.

“Gabba-UK” says the Marsters character is “a man not to trusted, dangerous to know and fun to have around”:

Hi Herc, The Doctor Who spinoff 'Torchwood' has just returned to our screen here in dear old Blighty and I thought I'd post my thoughts on it. Main one was that it was very good. That may dismay some of the regular Doctor Who fans, many of whom don't like Torchwood at all. I'm not one of them. Its nice to see a more grown up sci-fi show that likes to have a bit of fun with the genre. Yes, the bisexual inferences are still there, the fact that Capt Jack will bone anything with a pulse is alive and well but the somewhat tiresome and boring differences between the member of the team seem to have gone which is a major plus. And they have a pretty funny Star wars gag too. The show starts with a rather good (for BBC budget at least) car chase with the Torchwood souped up Range Rover tearing up Cardiff after a Blowfish that's wired on coke and driving a Chrysler Crossfire. This is the first clue to how the show is going to progress. Torchwood is no longer secret, the police and the public know about them and what they do. Hence the old lady muttering 'Bloody Torchwood' when they asked her for directions. Jack returns with little explanation of where he's been only to find that the team have been getting on perfectly well without him. This brings some funny moments between him and Gwen who has become the leader in his absence. Enter through the Time Rift.... James Marsters. Yes folks, Spike is in Wales. He's renegade Time Agent Capt. John Hart, murderer, alcoholic, drug taking, thieving and former fuck buddy of Capt. Jack (told you the Bi stuff was still about). He's a man not to trusted, dangerous to know and fun to have around. .... so basically he's Spike. Spinning them a tale, he needs their help to find three items that fell into the rift. I won't spoil the details but the ride was a lot of fun and it will undoubtedly be on Bit Torrent by now so you can watch it yourself. The production values have improved, the show looks better, its much funnier (some of that was down to Marsters admittedly) and it seems to have found its feet. I know its just the first episode but I have high hopes for it. The coming soon on Torchwood at the end was a montage of the episodes to come with some pretty fucked up looking shit on the way including more Spi..... sorry, Capt. John Hart and the return of Martha Jones and her incredible ass now that her time on the TARDIS has come to an end. All in all I would give it a solid B+ all round.

“Yours Truly” says Marsters’s character is “Spike by any other name, but still smelling sweet and a very welcome injection of humour”:

My feelings about Torchwood are much like my feelings for The good doctor, when it works - it works delightfully well and when it doesn’t it’s a fucking embarrassment. Season two did not kick off with the expected break from S1 tradition, all the hallmarks of the preceding season were on show including · Every character being sexually attracted to and flirting with every other character (check!) · The plot being driven by the weekly maguffin (check!) In it’s favour was the introduction of James (Spike) Marsters as Captain John Sexybastard – the evil incestuous career twin to Captain Jack Smugbastard. In effect Spike by any other name, but still smelling sweet and a very welcome injection of humour into Torchwoods mostly miserable cast. The wafer thin plot involves Capt’ Spike bringing his intergalactic treasure hunt to Capt’ jacks back yard (not his first visit to Jacks back yard - ho ho!) and a scenario of misunderstanding/fight/betrayal/fight/etc that cannot help but be crushingly familiar to anyone who’s ever read a comic or watched a crappy TV show in the last 40 years. This all finally resolves in a series of soap opera plot holes and exposition so crass that in any other show it would have you throwing the remote through the screen. However: Torchwood still has some moments that do reach the level the show should be coasting along at, parts of the script really crackle and are genuinely funny (Masters I’m glad to report has not forgotten how to deliver a line for maximum comic effect) – the cast are all pitch perfect in their roles (Except for Gareth David Lloyd as Ianto Jones. Unless I’m supposed to hate his soggy face and wish he would be crushed by falling masonry every time he opens his mouth? In which case, great casting!) and Jack is still part exasperating part inspired. You can’t help but want Torchwood to be as good as it damn well should be, it has almost everything going for it – except consistent scripts. The world has to be full of people who could write a decent creepy sci-fi show: the BBC should hire some of them. The show ends with some clips of the forthcoming season – and it does look like it holds promise. Then again the trailer for this years Doctor Who Christmas special looked like it would be exciting and it turned out to be the new doctors lowest moment, so only time will tell. (See what I did there?)

9 p.m. Saturday. BBC America.

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