Well our faithful feline felon furls his brow and takes a piercing peep at that film that has 'GOTTEN' to a lot of folks. This little film that could is going to be at CANNES, word has it that up in Chicago there's going to be some screenings (details are sketchy)... But you know... the film opens the same day as EYES WIDE SHUT, and ya know? See Kubrick first (don't be an idiot, Kubrick's last gift to mankind should be opened first) but after the 5 hours of excited spilling of words out of your mouth and the jabbering holes of your friends... Wander back to the theater (walk at night) and check out this one. It might just crawl under your skin... Here's Robie...
Blair Witch Project review—
To do this right I’m going to throw some advice out to any of you (any of you left who don’t know, that is) who have heard a few whispers about this flick and are curious as to what the hell it is. Stop reading this review right now, don’t read any other review of it you see in newspapers or the internet, shut off the television if they start talking about it and stuff a tennis ball in your friend’s mouth if he starts spouting off about what he heard it is. I even think the poster they had for it at Sundance gives away a bit too much, and it’s only a black poster with a small image of half a face and a tiny little figure at the bottom and the title “The Blair Witch Project.” If there was ever, EVER, a movie that will get under your skin—ESPECIALLY if you know NOTHING about it before hand—it’s this movie. I apologize for all those lame all-caps-I-STRESS-THIS typing, but I’m trying to get a point across here. Put the kids to sleep, this movie is fucking awesome.
I beg you, if you want to really enjoy this movie, don’t read anything else I’ve written. Just click the back arrow up at the top of the screen and say to yourself “what the hell was that guy’s trip?” I’m going to keep this quick and vague, and I’m sorry if I pile on the adjectives of praise with so little explanation as to why. I won’t go into what happens because it would completely ruin it.
I take that back. You could know the entire story of this movie, heck you could even memorize the script. You’ll still get scared shitless when you go see this. The difference between the freak factor here and, say, the first Friday the 13th is the difference between a leaky blow up doll and a booby dancer. You can get older and look back and laugh (minor threat…) at Jason and Freddy, but I swear my fifty year old mother would get absolutely frightened watching Blair Witch.
It’s the kind of scary you get when you’re walking along all alone at night in the middle of nowhere and, even though you’re singing out loud to let all the baddies of the night know you’re not scared, deep down you’re about ready to crap your pants. I always imagined that the freakish vampire from W. Murnau’s Nosferatu was out to get me. Him and the robot lady from the end of Superman III. It’s that kind of scary, the stuff you make up totally in your head, that Blair Witch plays on. Of course all types of scary you make up in your head, but when those intangible fears start to materialize themselves in very real ways….
Just let yourself go into the theater, let yourself think that the movie isn’t going anywhere, let yourself complain that it looks like a hack job up there on the screen. Then, after about 45 minutes, realize that the supremely talented creators of this film have been messing with you—preparing you—all along. Then sit back and watch your skin crawl. And see how great it is to bring something out of the theater with you when you go home. Man, how great is it to see what good movies can do?
