Ain't It Cool News (
Movie News

The Roundly Disgusting Kuato Spews STAR WARS TV Series Goodness!!

Merrick here...
..with some newly emerged details about the STAR WARS television series we’ve been hearing about. I’m referring to the live action project…which’ll come around AFTER the upcoming CGI series. This news comes to us via the highly trusted Kuato, who has taken up a singularly unseemly residence on Harry’s belly. It was difficult to understand everything Kuato said…I couldn’t make out every word through so much slobber and rasping. I hate talking to Kuato; it's gnarly and it's a pain in the ass. But here, for your consideration, is part of what I gleaned: We’ve previous been told the television series will be set between movie episodes III and IV, but we didn’t know much about what to expect beyond that. Kuato illuminated: we’ll get a little bit of everything in the show; the series very much embraces the broad scope of the STAR WARS universe. For example, we'll revisit Pod Races, and the characters and shenanigans/politics the events bring with them. Kuato said that one of the racer characters is someone we were actually introduced to a long, long time ago: his name is Thall Joben. This name sounded familiar to me, but I couldn’t quite place it. I looked him up. Turns out, we met him in episodes of the DROIDS animated series. We’ll also see Rebel bases and Imperial Star Destroyers. Actually, Kuato believes Imperials will be everywhere in the new show - undercover operatives, Imperial Officers of all makes and ambitions, and nearly all of them will be afraid of Darth Vader. There will be several instances in which characters are related to, or progenitors of, other characters in both the STAR WARS film universe & the franchise’s “Expanded Universe” (or “Extended Universe” if you prefer). One such character is a straight-laced Rebel with the last name Naberre…Padme’s last name in the Prequels was Naberre. I was a little confused here, but I believe this guy is supposed to be in his 20s…which would (presumably) make him related to Padme in some way. One Rebel General evidently carries the last name Durron – his placement in the STAR WARS timeline likely makes him the father of a character named Kyp Durron, who appears in several STAR WARS EU novels. Also, Kuato insinuated we’ll come across ("at least") one Mandalorian bad-ass in the course of the series. Kuato chuckled manically about the following…he sounded like Clint Howard at the end of “The Corbomite Maneuver”. He laughed so hard he could hardly talk (this made Harry’s belly jiggle in disquieting ways). Seems one character is spun off from (or may be the same character as?) Lucas’ own cameo in REVENGE OF THE SITH’s Coruscant Opera House sequence. Lucas’s character in that cameo (he had no dialogue) was called Barron Papanoida. The series brings us…General Papanoida. Hmmmmm…. Which brought Kuato to what most fans are really curious about: which FILM characters, if any, will make their ways into the series? He said there are several, among them are the prominently featured Bib Fortuna (Jabba’s right-hand man) and Oola the dancing girl (the green babe who was jettisoned from Jabba’s court to become a Rancor munchie). Kuato said the series will also involve the ever coveted, always inconvenient, vitally critical Death Star plans - although he did not indicate to what extent they’d be featured. Kuato quickly became sleepy, but before he nodded off completely he told me that one significant way the series will be different from the movies is in how its character react to what is happening around them. He says the series will be less “good guy/ bad guy” in nature & offer far more insight into what makes characters tick, why they feel what they feel, where they’re coming from, and so forth. This will be true for good guys and bad guys alike. I’m gathering this means the series may be more nuanced & emotionally accessible than the theatrical films often were (I’m specifically referring to the Prequels with this comment). I have heard, independently of Kuato, that this does NOT mean action and fun are being viewed as expendable here. In fact, I’m told the overall tone of the show is rather close to the adventurous nature of EPISODEs IV, V, and VI…just a little edgier. And off went poor Kuato, back to his scuzzy hidey-hole in Harry’s mighty belly…whispering…murmuring…snippets here and crumbs, really…something about Boba Fett…should be in his 20s in this series…angsty…disenfranchised…and simmering… There was more…difficult to interpret at best. Perhaps in time...perhaps.

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus