Alright, I take it some may call my opinion into question when talking about HORROR, so I have been passing the FREDDY VS JASON script to my sicko comrades like Tom Joad here (Next will be coming Peter Blood and Quint). Joad is... as you can surely tell from his love ballad to the wet world of gore, is a child of Fangoria. He was brought into this world with the power of an ejaculatory Peckinpah Squib, and he just keeps on flowing. Enjoy his take on the script...
Tom Joad here, just finished reading the new script that’s been circulating for FREDDY VS. JASON by Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger. Ya know, I’m gonna have to let you know where I stand on these types of films right here and now. The sex-filled, stalk-n-slash, let’s see how gory we can make the next onscreen death-type movies… You know, the ones most people say really have no point or redeemable value? Well, I absolutely adore them. They are my lifeblood. Cannibals, zombies, demonic possession, slimy monsters, atrocious disembowlments, brain-scarfing, maggot storms, a set of bare breasts, buckets of blood, varying degrees of sadistic torture, vicious, bloodthirsty aliens, gloriously wet, gory films. I love them, each and every one. The simple mention of either Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street makes my mouth water and my crotch moist. I truly do love these films. And you know what? Those of you who still reading this must be in love as well. Otherwise, you’re kind of wasting your time reading about the new script, huh? And this script, which is dated December 1, 1998? If handled by Rob Bottin? Will fuckin’ rule.
The best thing about these two series, are the people who watch and enjoy them. You and I. Of course, you’ve got both ends of the spectrum: at the one end you’ve got the people who know which guy went with which film. And the far end? Well, that’s where I am. We are the ones that will argue our opinions, whether they be in defense that these are some of the best films ever made, or that the ends of the odd numbered Friday the 13th movies are all dream sequences. From the first film’s Jason-child in Crystal Lake through the seventh one, involving “Carrie’s” dad leaping from said lake and dragging Jason down with a chain around his throat. Number eight even ended with a dream sequence with the young Jason morphed down in the sewers of Manhattan. We are a fun and varied bunch of people.
(HARRY NOTE: Gratuitous Quentin Rip Off/Homage starts the next paragraph Warning!)
I believe that there are Jason people and there are Freddy people. You can like Jason and Freddy, but you’ve got to like one more than the other. Personally, I am a Jason person. I think his sleeping bag murder in part six is nothing short of genius, and I’ll never forget Fox from part 3, getting pinned to a rafter from a pitchfork thrown through her throat after swinging on that fatass rope. Really great stuff. You see, no one can tell you whether or not you’ll like this movie. Some people like part 5 because it has great deaths, even though it’s almost everybody’s least favorite since it’s not really Jason. Others don’t really dig on part 2 because Jason doesn’t have his hockey mask yet. But it’s got that bitchin’ wheelchair death... It’s all subjective. If you like these films for the right reasons, you will love the possibilities this script contains. Number One: the script doesn’t bastardize the mythologies and make up new shit (ala Jason Goes to Hell- ugh, dreadful). Number Two: the group of teens is a fun bunch of kids. Don’t think Scream, because there is very little self-parody here. The teenagers in these movies have finally been given a really good script. Number Three: the build-up to the fight scene is nicely done, quickly paced and well worth the wait. Lastly: yes, they do fight, but aside from a few distinct clashings where the script gives specific shots, a lot of the fight was done in sentence form. This is definitely not a bad thing, I mean Carpenter’s Assault of Precinct 13 script had multiple blank pages throughout that said, “FIGHT SCENE”. This script leaves a lot of improvisational fighting up to the director: Rob Bottin. He knows this. And he will give us what we want.
I DID have some problems with the script. There is character that really grates me. His name is Dominic Necros and I’ll just say that he “represents” Freddy, which means he’s in the script a SHITLOAD. I would be happier with more Freddy. Also, for a group of smart kids, they do one REALLY stupid thing that almost ruins the script for me. It doesn’t however, there is definitely something to smile about if you’re a Jason fan… His physical description is AWESOME!!! The number one most important thing for me in any Friday film is how Jason is portrayed. How big’s the actor? How dirty are his coveralls? How’s the mask look? Most importantly: What’s his face look like? I nearly shit my pants every time I’ve initially seen each of the films’ first glimpse of Jason’s visage, with the exception of 5 and incredible cop-out by 8, and, well, 7 sort of bums me. But here I’ve read what he’s going to look like before they’ve even shot it. I’ll see some shots in Fangoria in a couple of months, and I hope I’m sitting on plastic when I get my first glimpse. Incredible.
For once, all you fans with a deep curiosity in this film, you may breathe a collective sigh of relief. After a few too many bumpy scripts these past few years, they’re finally on the right track. Sit back, smile, and count the days with me until Fango gets their stills.
