THE OFFICE!! 30 ROCK!! PALIN!! SNL!! MST3K!! MXC!! HercVault!!

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The Office: The Complete Third Season cements the series’ status as the funniest sitcom on broadcast television. Some of the third-season episodes are funnier than the non-Apatow big-screen comedies released last year. It’s about the employees of the Scranton, Pa., branch of a paper company, who are being filmed for a documentary. The documentary has been shooting for years, apparently, so at this point I’m kind of wondering if the crew is simply part of an elaborate prank manufactured by prank-happy paper salesman Jim Halpert. Harold Ramis (“Caddyshack,” “Groundhog Day”), Joss Whedon (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Firefly”) and J.J. Abrams (“Alias,” “Lost”) directed episodes on this set. The season’s best installment may have been the Ramis-directed “A Benihana Christmas,” which should maybe win every comedy Emmy distributed this month. (Ramis and Whedon, one hears, are coming back for season four.) Season three introduced us to Mose Schrute, played by former SNL writer Michael Schur. Mose’s cousin, paper salesman Dwight Schrute, 35, lives with Mose in a 9-bedroom farmhouse on the Schrute family’s 60-acre beet farm. Dwight and Mose share the farmhouse’s only bathroom, which is situated on the farmhouse’s porch. Their alarm clock is a rooster. In the second-season finale, Dwight exhumed his grandfather so that he could sear the tuxedo in which that grandfather was buried. Keen perhaps to recycle the coffin as well, Dwight reburied the grandfather in an old oil drum. These events were apparently just the tip of the Schrute iceberg. The Schrute family, apparently long ago exiled from an Amish community due to an obvious predisposition for violent behavior, “shunned” Dwight between the ages of four and six because he failed to save the excess oil from a can of tuna. Dwight claims to have reabsorbed his own twin while in the womb. Dwight harbors a fear of androids. Dwight Schrute is based on Gareth Keenan, a character on the British version of “The Office.” I have not seen the British “Office.” Can Gareth possibly be as funny as Dwight? Does Gareth make those same gestures when he shuns and unshuns his co-workers? I really need to get my hands on the Brit “Office.” Perhaps the most satisfying aspect of season three is it finally explains Michael Scott. Scott, who runs the Scranton branch of the Dunder Mifflin paper company, is an idiot. The third season finally explains how he got, and how he kept, his job as regional manager. In the episode “Traveling Salesmen,” we see that Scott is a sales savant. Which is to say he was amazing at his previous job. And as the third season finale, “The Job,” concluded, we came to learn that Scott’s supervisor and girlfriend, the beautiful Jan Levinson, has been harboring a debilitating psychosis. Ah! Everything falls into place, at least to my satisfaction. DELTED SCENES. There are enough season-three story deletions to stitch together nine more episodes! . 3.1 “Gay Witch Hunt” (8:53) Andy demonstrates his physical prowess; Jan micromanages ex-girlfriend Michael; Jim encounters the breast-pumper; Dwight explains why the family’s gay bull was put down and tests Stanley for homosexuality; Jim worries he might be the Dwight of the Stamford branch; Pam gets post-Roy advice from Michael; we learn the Schrutes are no strangers to “fudge-packing.” . 3.2 “The Convention” (6:17) Michael tells a new tale of Todd Packer; Michael recounts sex-line calls; Dwight sucks up to Stamford manager Josh Porter; Dwight arranges a convention rendezvous; Jan invites the Scranton manager to her room. . 3.3 “The Coup” (8:45) Angela expands on her distaste for Michael; we learn Creed does not live in the United States; Michael defies Jan’s Monday-movie edict; Kevin admires Pam’s new blouse; co-workers react to Dwight’s “ascension”; Jan catches Jim playing the Stamford branch’s computer war game. . 3.4 “Grief Conseling” (8:40) Jim gets a gander at breast-pump lady’s husband; Dwight belies a lack of sentimentality regarding death; Michael’s contempt for Toby is explored; a burial is aborted. . 3.5 “Initiation” (6:02) Jan cracks down on Michael; Pam explains an old bet with Jim; Ryan learns more about beet agriculture; Ryan reflects on his life as he sojourns to the Shrute farm; nudity attends a visit to the grave of Dwight’s grandpa; Stanley poaches Kevin’s catch. . 3.6 “Diwali” (9:39) Indian greeting cards are discussed; Michael offers a mini-bio of Ben Kingsley, the most important man in India; Andy explains why he used to be called The Hubble; Angela explains why she came to the Diwali party; the staff gets to know Michael’s new girl Carol; Dwight expresses admiration of Kelly’s god-monsters; Kevin pitches his Police cover band for Diwali ’07. . 3.8 “The Merger” (7:15) Kevin and Angela welcome Jim back; Pam and Jim annoy Ryan; Karen learns something about Meredith; Kevin gives Andy a nickname; Meredith and Breast-Pump lady get territorial; Andy brownnoses Kevin; Michael Does A Card Trick; Meredith compliments Martin Nash. . 3.9 “The Convict” (14:57) Andy and Dwight argue about who was the greater infant; Pam discusses her doodling; Angela and Pam opine privately on ex-con Martin; Pam admits surprise at how quickly Karen has acclimated; Ryan notes that babies are cute then tells us what’s not cute; Michael questions Dwight’s cool; Dwight threatens Martin; Creed and Ryan discuss their own criminal backgrounds; Dwight suspects Martin’s story; Angela and Dwight try to protect Meredith from Martin; Pam gets Andy to ask Jim out on a date; Dwight believes he has news on Meredith’s whereabouts; Michael discusses the origins of Prison Mike; Michael’s prisoners bide their time. . 3.10/11 “A Benihana Christmas” (5:57) Angela takes issue with Michael’s cancellation of Christmas; Karen notes the Stamford branch had no party-planning committee; Angela takes her objections to the rival party to Toby; Stanley, Kevin and Creed weigh in on the party rivalry; Phyllis chooses a party; Michael drunk-dials Carol; Ryan gives Kelly her present; Angela prevents Phyllis’ escape; Ryan and Kelly converge on a dumpster; Michael introduces his new girl to Stanley. . 3.12 “Back From Vacation” (13:08) Michael deplanes and waits for luggage; Pam shows her postcards-from-Michael collection; Dwight details how Jim tortured him in Michael’s absence; Dwight explains why he never takes a vacation; Michael distributes gifts from Jamaica; the staff suspects Michael may have photoshopped his vacation photos; Phyllis weighs in on Stanley; Michael and Dwight try to guess Jan’s email password; Michael consults America Online; Jan sticks to her Scottsdale story; the staff discuss Jan’s topless photo; Dwight does a Spider-Man spazz-out; Dwight and Andy have a stack-off; a warehouse mishap buries Meredith alive. . 3.13/3.14 “Traveling Salesmen”/”The Return” (26.42) Harvey the computer has more to say; Andy uses visual aids to illustrate the Stamford departures; Dwight reinvents the roof; Dwight denies Phyllis the elevator; Toby’s secret love for Pam is revealed; Michael tells Andy he’s boning Jan; Andy and Michael do SNL characters and discuss the Superfriends; Michael accuses Andy of having a crush; Stanley warns Ryan; Jim gives his license number to Dwight; Jim and Dwight discuss Karen and Angela; Phyllis asks Karen about Jim’s undies; Dwight divides up his possessions. . 3.15 “Ben Franklin” (7:36) Pam explains to Todd Packer (David Koechner) that she doesn’t wear glasses; Phyllis divulges a bit about Bob Vance’s romantic history; Michael gives Toby the rest of the day off; Creed requests change; the girls interrogate “Ben Franklin”; Michael orders the warehouse transformed; Dwight tries to trip “Ben” up, and puts a percentage on the likelihood of “Ben” being the real Ben Franklin. . 3.16 “Phyllis’ Wedding” (10:33) Phyllis and Michael dispute the source of gas as Bob Vance looks on; Kevin divulges some romantic history; Pam confronts Phyllis about stealing all her wedding plans; Angela gets seated with Phyllis’ vet; Jim questions Dwight’s crasher-patrol thoroughness; the profession of Toby’s date is revealed; Michael pictures Bob and Phyllis having sex; Michael offers an objection to the marriage and rides the staircase. . 3.17 “Business School” (5:50) Jim appraises Michael’s “wisdoms”; Meredith tells a Pam joke; Michael decides not to stand on the lecture room desk; Michael demonstrates that he doesn’t know the world’s population; Karen tries to sabotage Pam; Pam and Roy discuss a cabin rental. . 3.18 “Cocktails” (4:26) Ryan asks Toby about interoffice dating; Meredith introduces her co-workers; Jan reveals troubling details about her history; Stanley gives Ryan another warning; Michael voices his suspicions about Jan. . 3.20 “Safety Training” (7:53) Andy demonstrates that he has become the anger-free “Drew.” Angela avenges Dwight. Michael imagines how Borat would make a safety video; Dwight positions the trampoline; Stanley bets on Bob Vance; more of the staff tries to talk Michael off the roof; Andy/Drew’s anger management skills are put to the test. . 3.21 “Product Recall” (12:44) Kelly’s handling of the obscene watermark crisis threatens to drive Ryan to madness; Kelly trains the accounting staff; Creed meets the journalist covering Michael’s press conference; Jim and Andy discuss Andy’s teen girlfriend; Dwight offers Michael apology advice; Andy interrupts class to confront his girlfriend; Kelly fires Angela; Michael’s earlier apology videos are screened; Jim chats up a high-school girl; Kelly seeks reciprocation; a hero is chosen. . 3.22 “Women’s Appreciation” (5:09) Michael is quizzed on The Wall Street Journal; Andy seeks Dwight’s trust; Dwight corrals the women; Andy explains about Mistress Lila; Michael offers Pam underwear advice; Dwight patrols the parking lot. . 3.23 “Beach Games” (6:34) Michael explains that only the classic gang and Andy and Karen are invited; Meredith learns of a no-alcohol policy; Meredith pees publicly; Jim’s warning is ignored; Michael and Pam judge performance; Jim explains the alternative to the hot-dog-eating contest he and Karen are indulging; Dwight vanquishes Stanley; Ryan is accused of flirting; Andy flags down help. . 3.24 “The Job” (12:07) Michael comes clean with Toby; Ryan mocks Pam’s honesty; Michael gives Dwight instructions with regard to his vacated office; Michael considers a move to Queens; Dwight offers his theory on the Dharma Initiative; Angela spies on Pam; Kelly talks Jim with Pam; Michael dreams of a future with multivitamins; Dwight organizes a garbage quiz and gives away Schrutebucks like they were going out of style; Creed masterminds an ingenius Schrutebuck scheme; Dwight and Andy brainstorm office décor; Dwight reflects on his one-day reign; Stanley refuses a hug; Jan is depicted bitching out moving men. COMMENTARIES. . 3.3 “The Coup”: John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson, Rashida Jones and Angela Kinsey. (Discover that Dwight’s waffle-eating is even funnier when viewed with an audience of Wilson’s castmates.) . 3.5 “Initiation”: B.J. Novak, Rainn Wilson and Leslie David Baker. (Learn that Novak would like very much to bone Melora Hardin, who plays Jan Levinson.) . 3.13/3.14 “Traveling Salesman”/”The Return”: John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson, Rashida Jones, Ed Helms, Leslie David Baker and editor Dave Rogers. (Learn that Dwight’s hair from the old Jim/Dwight photo was photoshopped in from a 1991 photo of Wilson when the actor was touring in a production of “Romeo & Juliet.”) . 3.17 “Business School”: B.J. Novak, Rainn Wilson and writer Brent Forrester. (Episode director and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” mastermind Joss Whedon, it is disclosed, was less than appreciative when he learned he was to direct the “bat episode.”) . 3.20 “Safety Training”: B.J. Novak, Mindy Kaling and director Harold Ramis. (Kaling, hilariously, encourages Ramis to tell Bill Murray coke-party stories.) . 3.22 “Women’s Appreciation”: Jenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey, Kate Flannery and writers Lee Eisenerg and Gene Stupnitsky. (Learn that the actresses claim to find writers Eisenberg and Stupnitsky appealing.) . 3.23 “Beach Games”: Ed Helms, Brian Baumgartner, writer Jennifer Celotta and director Harold Ramis. (Ramis reveals that an early draft of the script had Michael concerned about his “fallopian problems.”} . 3.24 “The Job”: John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, Rashida Jones, Melora Hardin, editor Dave Rogers and director Ken Kwapis. (Learn that the first cut of this episode clocked in at an hour and 12 minutes.) OTHER EXTRAS. * KEVIN COOKS STUFF IN THE OFFICE (4:57) The accountant finds his “cooking show” intruded upon by unsolicited guest stars. Casadillas and Crème Brule are on the menu. * EXCERPT FROM THE 2006 NBC PRIMETIME PREVIEW HOSTED BY THE OFFICE CAST (8:11) Michael discussed his new TV purchase; Dwight challenges Jim to a hilarious saltine competition; Kevin does a Rob Schneider impression; Dwight’s bobblehead is held for ransom; mustard is abused in the parking lot; Dwight takes umbrage when a dog is proclaimed a hero; Michael and Pam share their admiration for Tina Fey; * TOBY WRAPAROUNDS (2:48) The Scranton branch’s human resources director explains why life under Michael’s supervision is not a nightmare, interacts with Angela and Kelly, and explains what he would do if he found out today would be his last day on Earth. * DWIGHT SHRUTE MUSIC VIDEO (2:09) Someone wrote a ‘70s-style rock anthem dedicated to the Scranton’s branch’s best salesman. Someone (perhaps the same someone) cobbled together much “Office” footage to illustrate this anthem. Sample lyrics: He’s Dwight! Schrute! Whoa-ohhhhh!! Sellin’ Paper! Fightin’ Evil! He’s Dwight! Schrute! Whoa-ohhhhhh!! Protecting Scranton And the tri-county ar-e-ahhhhhh! * JOSS WHEDON INTERVIEW (1:00) The “Buffy” creator’s lust for screen-death is discussed, if very briefly. * VIDEOS FROM THE OFFICE “MAKE YOUR OWN PROMO” CONTEST . Rubberband Ball (:24) . Sing-A-Long (:24) . Playing at the Office (:24) . Bobbleheads (;24) . Supplies Animation (:24) . Claymation (:35) * BLOOPER REEL (13:44) Learn that it’s really hard to avoid laughing when Michael is whispering to Phyllis about farts. * LAZY SCRANTON VIDEO (2:12) Michael and Dwight extoll the virtues of The Electric City in rap. * EXCERPT FROM THE 58th ANNUAL PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS (1:14) Tuxedo-clad Conan O’Brien literally falls into the set of “The Office” on his way to host the Emmys.

30 Rock, which leads into “The Office” on Thursday nights, is the second-best sitcom on broadcast TV at the moment. Its first-season DVD set streets today as well. In case you were watching “Grey’s Anatomy” or “CSI” last season, “30 Rock” depicts the adventures of Liz Lemon (former SNL head writer Tina Fey), a sketch-show writer who suddenly finds herself saddled with a new NBC boss (Alec Baldwin) and the loose-cannon movie star (Tracy Morgan) who has joined her cast. Fey not only plays the showrunner of the fictional “TGS Starring Tracy Jordan,” she is also the real-life showrunner of “30 Rock” and deservedly Emmy-nominated this year for her work on both sides of the camera. DELETED SCENES. At less than 11 minutes, they are not quite as robust in length as the more than three hours on the new “Office” set. . 1.1 “Pilot” (1:00) Tracy greets the folks on the NBC studio tour. . 1.3 “Blind Date” (:25) Liz wonders if she should bring Gretchen. . 1.7 “Tracy Does Conan” (:19) Tracy plans his first words for O’Brien, only to encounter The Blue Dude. . 1.8 “The Break-Up” (:31) Liz’s ex explains why he can’t move into his new apartment right away. . 1.11 “The Head and the Hair” (:39) Pete orders Jack to sort through the trash. . 1.13 “Up All Night” (1:49) Liz phones her dad; Frank appraises Jenna. . 1.14 “The ‘C’ Word” (4:53) Liz learns of the Designing Women marathon; Kenneth gets love advice from Tracy; Tracy summons his entourage to deliver him from Connecticut. . 1.17 “The Fighting Irish” (:30) Jack offers two lads on the studio tour some fatherly advice. . 1.21 “Hiatus” (:16) Frank turns down Liz’s offer of an on-camera role. COMMENTARIES. . 1.7 “Tracy Does Conan”: Tracy Morgan. (Learn that Morgan thinks Alec Baldwin is one of the five best actors of all time.) . 1.12 “Black Tie”: Tina Fey. (Learn that Liz Lemon majored in theatre tech while Tina Fey majored in theatre. Learn that Paul Reubens’ prosthetic hand was so small because it was given to him as a child. Learn that Scott Adsit worked with Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch at Second City. Hear Fey insist that Jack and Liz – dispite Bianca Donaghy’s suspicions – will not evolve into a romantic couple.) . 1.15 “Hard Ball”: Lorne Michaels & son Henry Michaels. (Learn that Lorne considers Jack McBrayer “always a welcome presence.”) . 1.18 “Fireworks”: Jack McBrayer. (Find yourself reminded that McBrayer worked with Will Arnett on “Arrested Development.”) . 1.21 “Hiatus”: Alec Baldwin. (Learn that Baldwin thinks Tracy Morgan is a handsome man.) OTHER EXTRAS. * THE WRAP PARTY (13:08) This is a blooper/highlight reel, presumably screened at the show’s wrap party. Some hot Krakowski/Fey lesbian action is included, and they didn’t bleep the “fucks.” Alec Baldwin does his Woody Allen impression. The homosexual Will Arnett outtakes with the phallic fruit-punch bottle are genius. * AN EVENING WITH KENNETH (9:58) A series of videos that feature irrepressible page Kenneth hosting his own camcorded “talk show” from the 30 Rock page desk. Jenna, Frank and Tracy are his guests. * BEHIND THE SCENES WITH JUDAH FRIEDLANDER (5:40) Frank’s alter-ego goes in and out of character as he interviews the show’s hairdresser, invades Jenna’s dressing-room, screws around with Jack McBrayer, talks to Tracy’s hulking entourage (Grizz Chapman and Kevin “Dotcom” Brown) about Josh and listens to Josh’s weld his Woody Allen and Adam Sandler impressions together. * BEHIND THE SCENES WITH JACK McBRAYER & LONNY ROSS (9:42) Ross, who plays Josh, videos McBrayer, who plays Kenneth the page. They explore Silvercup Studios, where “30 Rock” is shot, including McBrayer’s dressing room, craft services, wardrobe and Jack Donaghy’s office. McBrayer interviews the actors who play the TGS writers as well as the “30 Rock” script coordinator and writer’s assistants. The pair switch positions, and Ross takes us through the writers’ room set, and the offices of Liz, Frank and Toofer. * MAKIN’ IT HAPPEN (:30) Three ten-second webisodes of NBC’s non-existent online sitcom. These star “30 Rock” writers: fat, balding Dave Finkel and superhot Kay Cannon (Jason Sudeikis’ wife).

Herc’s Popular Pricing Pantry

We count 264 items in Amazon’s Giant Emmy Sale. . To save you some of the searching and scrolling, here’s a slightly more organized rundown of most of those titles: UNDER $16 All In The Family 1.x-6.x $14.99 The Ben Stiller Show: The Complete Series $15.49 The Corner: The Complete Series $15.99 Hazel 1.x $14.99 The Jeffersons 1.x-6.x $14.99 Mad About You 1.x $14.99 Maude 1.x $14.99 Murphy Brown 1.x $15.49 Night Court 1.x $15.49 Reba 1.x-2.x/4.x $14.99 Soap 1.x-4.x $14.99 227 1.x $14.99 The Waltons 1.x-2.x $15.99 UNDER $20 Alien Nation: The Complete Series $19.99 Anything But Love 1.x $19.99 Arrested Development 1.x-3.x $19.99 The Bernie Mac Show 1.x $19.99 Bewitched 1.x-4.x $19.49 The Big Valley 1.x $19.49 The Bob Newhart Show 1.x-4.x $19.49 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 1.x-7.x $19.99 Christy: The Complete Series $19.99 Dharma & Greg 1.x $19.99 Family 1.x-2.x $19.99 Hill Street Blues 1.x-2.x $19.99 Huff 1.x $19.49 In Living Color 1.x-5.x $19.49 King of the Hill 1.x-6.x $19.49 The Larry Sanders Show 1.x $19.49 Mad About You 2.x-3.x $19.49 Malcolm in the Middle $19.99 The Mary Tyler Moore Show 1.x-4.x $19.49 M*A*S*H 1.x-11.x $19.99 Millennium 2.x-3.x $19.99 Murder One 1.x-2.x $19.99 NYPD Blue 1.x-4.x $19.49 The Pretender 1.x-4.x $19.99 Remington Steele 1.x-5.x $19.49 St. Elsewhere 1.x $19.49 The White Shadow 1.x-2.x $19.49 WKRP In Cincinnati 1.x $19.99 UNDER $25 Babylon 5 1.x-4.x $23.99 Benson 1.x $21.99 Boston Legal 1.x-2.x $24.99 Columbo 5.x $21.49 Curb Your Enthusiasm 2.x-3.x $20.49 Dallas 3.x $21.49 ER 2.x-5.x $22.49 Everybody Love Raymond 4.x-5.x $20.99 Magnum P.I. 4.x $21.99 Millennium 1.x $23.99 Murder She Wrote 2.x $21.99 My Name Is Earl 1.x $24.99 Nip/Tuck 1.x-3.x $23.99 Northern Exposure 3.x $21.99 The Office 2.x $24.49 The Rockford Files 3.x $21.49 Smallville 2.x/5.x $23.99 Supernatural 1.x $23.99 The Unit 1.x $24.99 UNDER $32 House 1.x-2.x $31.49 Law & Order SVU 1.x/3.x/5.x $27.99 Monk 1.x-4.x $27.49 Prison Break 1.x $28.49 Saturday Night Live 1.x $31.49 Seinfeld 3.x-4.x $26.49 The Shield 1.x-5.x $29.49 That ‘70s Show 1.x-5.x $28.99 24 1.x-5.x $29.49 The West Wing 1.x-7.x $25.99 The X-Files 1.x-9.x $28.49 For the complete sale, click here.

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