Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. So, this was supposed to be a 10 minute sit down interview with Jessica Alba and Dane Cook about their upcoming comedy GOOD LUCK CHUCK. It turned into a 3 ½ minute interview done just before they jumped into the press line. So, call it an extended press-line interview or a warm-up, if you will. Honestly, I didn’t have much to say about the movie anyway, so keeping it quick was probably a good idea. It’s short… but some funny stuff’s in here… and some amazingly beautiful pictures of Ms. Alba. And don’t forget everybody’s favorite new sensation: sound-o-text!!! Also, be sure to watch out for a creepy dude in the background who decided that he would just hold his microphone up to my interview and have his buddy videotape it. Thanks for asking, douche.
Quint: This is Kraken and if you don’t mind, he’ll take a couple pictures for the site?
Dane Cook: No problem, as long as she’s cool with it.
Jessica Alba: Yeah, of course.
Quint: Well, I don’t have too much time they said, but the first thing that I wanted to talk about and the first thing that caught my eye about the movie really, was the John and Yoko poster…
[Alba laughs]
Quint: It’s actually causing some controversy, some people don’t like it, but I thought it was pretty…
Jessica Alba: Kind of funny…
Dane Cook: You know what? It was a conversation piece and I think whatever side of the fence you’re on with the poster, it got people talking about it and that never hurts when you’re trying to get a movie out there.
Jessica Alba: Yeah, exactly.
Quint: But I’ve also noticed it’s not the only poster.
Jessica Alba: We have many posters.
Dane Cook: Yeah. There’s a plethora coming out.
Jessica Alba: Yeah there is, definitely.
Quint: This seems to be more of a lewd comedy than a straight up romantic comedy.
Jessica Alba: Like R-rated.
Quint: R-rated, so it’s a romantic raunchy comedy?
Jessica Alba: Yeah.
Dane Cook: It dabbles in a little of both. I think it has a sweet tooth, but at the same time it could be a little lascivious…
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Jessica Alba: But at the root of it, there is such a heart and it is a very romantic love story about two people that can’t be together for different circumstances and he gets to lay a bunch of chicks…
Dane Cook: Hey now…
Jessica Alba: … in the meantime…
Quint: So, we know why you (Cook) signed on…
Dane Cook: I have a stunt cock in the movie.
Quint: What’s his name?
Jessica Alba: What is his name?
Dane Cook: (laughs) No comment.
Jessica Alba: Come on…
[Everybody laughs]
Dane Cook: Benny…
[Everyone laughs again]
Dane Cook: … and the Jets…
Jessica Alba: Maximum…
Quint: Obviously with this, if the humor is going to work and the romance is going to work, there has to be some real chemistry.
Dane Cook: This is my first time actually meeting Jessica… Hi!
Jessica Alba: Yeah, hey man. I did all my scenes with his stand in.
Quint: With Benny?
[Alba laughs]
Dane Cook: Immediately, when I met Jessica Alba, I was smitten. I thought she was fantastic. I thought that, you know I was a fan of what she had done before, but I wanted to see her kind of break out in a new way and I had never seen her do comedy, so…
Jessica Alba: Yeah and I was excited. We met and I just went on and on and on why I wanted to do comedy and why I loved it and…
Dane Cook: I could embarrass her with how good she is right now…
Jessica Alba: Shut up…
Dane Cook: I really could. I could gush… you’ve just got to see the movie, but I think it’s… I think that it’s definitely one of the better comedic breakout roles that you’ll see this year. I will say that.
Quint: I’m actually a big fan of raunchy comedy, so…
Jessica Alba: You’re going to like it. It’s funny for the raunchy bit…
Quint: For the raunchy bit… well, I also have a sweet side, so I like the romantic stuff, so…
Jessica Alba: Well that’s where I come in.
Quint: Did you find it difficult melding the two without trying to go overboard one way or the other?
Dane Cook: It’s a great script; I mean Josh Stolberg and our director Mark Helfrich, they just had a real keen eye on how we could dance that dance and be a little bit of both without being contrived.
Jessica Alba: You know, it feels contemporary and it feels edgy and it feels real, but at the same time you know, people get in love and they googily and they day dream about somebody when they first meet them and butterflies in the tummy… all of that mixed with how he and his best friend interact and react to him being able to sleep with basically any chick… any time… as many times as he wants…
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Dane Cook: Yeah, like my friend can say “You’re a Vagina Pirate,” and it’s like yeah, that’s what your friend would say if you’re having relations with so many different girls…
[Everybody laughs]
Jessica Alba: You could say that…
Dane Cook: …but, there’s only one girl on Charlie’s mind, so ultimately will he get her or not? You’ll have to see.
Quint: That’s what we have to pay the $7.50 for.
Dane Cook: Sure… $7.50? Where are you seeing your movies?
Quint: Matinee prices, man.
Jessica Alba: Oh, OK.
Quint: Thank you.
Dane Cook: Thank you very much.
There you have it. Short with some pretty pictures and some real life audio to prove that the words “Vagina” and “Pirate” were uttered together during this interview.
So, I couldn’t resist a no-prize caption contest. You’ve seen how photogenic Alba is in the above pics. She’s a beautiful woman. We all know that. But this picture was too funny not to run. It cries out for having a caption contest. Again, no prizes, but you will get the knowledge that you’ve helped your fellow geeks have a brighter, happier day. Isn’t that enough?
-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com
