The Cutsie-Pooing of ILM's FRANKENSTEIN...

Recently some rather dire news has been reported to me from a source involved in the entire calamity that is the fickle hand of UNIVERSAL’s executive indecision movers and shakers concerning FRANKENSTEIN.

Frequent readers of AICN are pretty familiar with this project. It’s the first 100% Digital ILM Feature Film. According to past sources it was to be a serious and SCARY horror film in the style of the classic UNIVERSAL HORROR films of yore, but with the horror beats of the half century of bumps and frights that have come since. This was the darling project of CASEY SILVER, the man responsible for UNIVERSAL’s fantastic selection of films last year including BABE: PIG IN THE CITY, OUT OF SIGHT, FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, THE BIG LEBOWSKI and others. Unfortunately, those monkeys in the suits placed the ax across his neck and not that of the marketing department that couldn’t figure out how to sell these fantastic films.... CLUE: Make sure your marketing team has actually seen the films instead of merely responding to the ‘type’ of film.

Casey Silver was the most enthusiastic supporter of the CGI Animation division at Universal, and after THE INCREDIBLE HULK fell by the wayside, FRANKENSTEIN became the project that would trumpet Universal’s future. FRANKENSTEIN is currently in production at ILM and was going to be a dark and frightening PG-13 HORROR film with nearly photo-realistic animation. From what I’ve heard the script by Brent Maddock and Steve Wilson was quite excellent and I’ve seen that dazed look in the eyes of people that have seen the art direction, character designs and the few boarded sequences they had seen. And then there was the 18 second incredible animation test that we all heard about. In fact we had people raving about the sheer brilliance of the test. This was a project that had my utmost attention.

But then... along came PSYCHO: the remake. See, there is always a chain of events that cause folks like Ron Meyer, Stacey Snider and Kevin Misher to have some sort of schizoid knee-jerk reaction. According to my informers, Ron Meyer doesn’t think (no duh!) that the Frankenstein Monster will be well received by young audiences since they didn’t respond to the PSYCHO remake. Instead the word is they want to shift gears and make what sounded like a great project a G or PG rated family film aimed at the ‘kiddie’ audience.

Ron... my friend... Listen very carefully. PSYCHO: DITTO didn’t succeed because.... It was a stale, uncreative shot for shot film school exercise with non-A list talent with shoddy production design and a stiff and staid direction with little to no spark or thrill in this by the steps endeavor into mediocrity. The reason why YOUTH didn’t like the film was probably because it was NOT COOL!!! Because it was BORING AND TEDIOUS. Because everyone knew exactly what was going to happen! Because it was the first completely safe horror film in the history of horror films.

That is not the case here. Brent Maddock and Steve Wilson’s script is not a loving shot for shot remake of James Whale’s FRANKENSTEIN. Nor is it a shot for shot remake of THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN or SON OF FRANKENSTEIN or THE GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN or THE HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN or FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN or ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN. No, this is an original film where the audience will not know where the horror is.

You guys’ current suicidal plan to turn this horror film into a feel good action/adventure where you transform the protagonist of NOVO into a cute wise-cracking ROBIN WILLIAMS/EDDIE MURPHY character with talking animal sidekicks is... without a doubt the most hideously offensive and shallow thing you could ever do.

Carl Laemmle Jr. and Tod Browning are turning in their graves watching such a pitiful lot of beauracrats wet-nursing the results of the latest polling numbers provided by sources like the NRG, instead of gut instincts and a knowledge of film. But hey... it’s not like these three execs even know who they are.

How far have things come?

Well the original writers have been fired, and are set to be replaced with some comedic writers (that sleep well knowing that check is growing interest babies in the ol bank account). One of the original writers, a Brent Maddock was also the co-director. He was removed from both positions. SOUNDS REMINISCENT TO SOME OF THE DEBACLE THAT BEFELL..... QUEST FOR CAMELOT. His co-director, Dave Carson still remains aboard.

Meanwhile, my sources tell me that Jim Morris, Ron Tippe, Chris Kubsch, John Swallow and Doug Woods are... well a bit unnerved by the current change of tide. Of course this is all behind the scenes.. publicly they smile.

Maybe it’s because they know that there is an upcoming power shift at UNIVERSAL which is quite headless at the moment. Perhaps they hope to weather the storm and the kites will fly and lightning will strike life into this ubercool project.

UNIVERSAL... a comedic version of your UNIVERSAL production of FRANKENSTEIN has already been done as perfectly as it can ever be done. It was called YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, no no, that wasn’t in the eighties... In fact it came out in the era you’ll know as Pre-Film (aka before STAR WARS... no not THE PHANTOM MENACE...)

If this project somehow falls apart or becomes a piece of shit, the blame will from this day forward fall upon the necks of Ron Meyer, Stacey Snider, Kevin Misher and whatever hack writers accept the writing job to make this film a comedy.