The frequent contributor Segue Zagnut is back to talk some more about... the films that we (you and me) wanna go see over the coming months. If you recall from Moriarty's epic discussion about AUSTIN POWERS and AMERICAN PIE, it was two screenings occurring simultaneously. Over an hour apart. However, nothing stands between our super spies and the impossible. You see... they were especially inbred... I mean raised for this sort of work.... And.. well see the results for yourself. You'll be happy to not that Segue didn't make a farrell out of himself, but quite the reverse... He did a great job. A warning though, there are spoilers in his review of AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME, and addresses concerns over the ending as it stands, and a couple of other quips, though on the whole it seems he did love it. I've said too much and likely so will Segue, so I'll now turn it over to the Zagnut...
Head Geek
My name is Segue Zagnut and I'm a shy boy. I mostly listen and watch. Sometimes, I talk. Thursday night the evil genius played a trick on me. Cloning. First it was scary as I realized a naked clone of myself was standing next to a naked clone of Moriarty. Then it was perfect as we thwarted two different "market research" firms to see 'Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me' and 'American Pie' in the same night at the same time. And finally, it was beautiful when the rest of the night I took self love to a whole new level. I guess this time I really have said too much. About the movies.
Simply put, the new Austin Powers is great. Yeah baby, it's very good. In fact many scenes are funnier than the original. However, it's not perfect and as it stands right now, it is not quite as good over all. I'm confident that after Jay Roach and Mike Myers tighten it up, it will be. If they do it right, it will be better than the first.
If you don't want any spoilers than don't read on, however it is the kind of film that plot and plot twists are a lot less important than the comedy bits. Those are the real spoilers, so I'd be careful to not watch too many trailers. The story is that Dr.. Evil develops a time machine and goes back to 1969, when Austin was still frozen, to steel his sexual 'mojo'. Austin follows him back. Once there, Austin hooks up with Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham) to get back his mojo and defeat Dr. Evil's new plan to destroy Washington D.C. with a giant laser on the moon.
The first few scenes are perfect. It starts with Elizabeth Hurley (reprising Vanessa Kensington) and Austin on their honeymoon. Setting up how Austin can be free to love again is one of the best sequel saves yet. In a twist on the typical the-marriage-was-a-dream or a tragic-death-by-the-bad-guys, Vanessa is actually a fembot. It's ridicules, it's unbelievable, it's perfect. Then as if nothing happened, Austin is back running around the hotel naked in a balls out (sorry) hilarious opening titles sequence that makes the first film look tame.
The first time we see Dr.. Evil is next. Seth Green (reprising Scott Evil) is a guest on the Jerry Springer Show, titled "My dad wants to take over the world", and Jerry brings out dad as a surprise. I am tired of this kind of humor in movies. Oprah, Roseanne and Jerry jokes are so over played as a "cool" pop reference that it is never funny anymore. Well, never say never, because this scene is one of the best in the movie.
Not far into the film, Robert Wagner (reprising #2) introduces Minime (played by Verne Troyer), which is the result of an experiment that went wrong. Frau Farbissina( played by Mindy Sterling) and #2 had tried to clone Dr.. Evil and instead created a midget version. Dr.. Evil feels that Minime is everything that his son, Scot, is not and never lets him leave his side. This could have been a one joke prop that gets over done and it isn't. Minime is a consistently funny site-gag as he mocks everything Mike does. Troyer does a remarkable job in what could have been an over the top performance that ruins the movie. Instead, Troyer has an important role in some of the funniest scenes. When Dr.. Evil sings "Just the Two of Us" to him which then turns into a rap number as Minime dances in the background, it works. And the climatic fist fight with Austin Powers is a slapstick classic.
If the first film was Austin Power's movie, this one is Dr.. Evil's. Mike plays him perfectly. We spend most of the film in 1969 and Dr.. Evil makes many references to future events and films. Most are very funny, but along with some out of place product placements, there are a few too many. Rob Lowe plays the 1969 version of #2 as an incredible impersonation of Robert Wagner. Wil Ferrell is back as Mustafa the henchman that won't die. This is one of the bits that is recycled from the first film that works, as does a new version of the Shhh bit with Zip It instead and a play on the One Million Dollars ransom bit. Sadly, this time, another long laughing scene doesn't.
Heather Graham plays a CIA agent that is clearly Austin's American counterpart, all they way down to a cool American flag painted car. I think this could've been perfect casting, but one of the problems is that we'll never know as it stands right now. The Austin/Felicity love story is too forced. We barely see them together before they are already in love. A very funny montage sequence set to a Burt Bacharach song sung by Elvis Costello is a good start but not enough. What made the love angle work in the original was the chemistry and there are not enough scenes to build it here. We are just supposed to buy it and I don't think most of the audience did.
What also doesn't work is a new character named Fat Bastard (played by Mike Myers). The character is 400 pounds and Scottish which sounds funny and isn't. Where the midget stuff works without being offensive the fat guy stuff doesn't. The film grinds to a halt in a disgusting love scene where the comedy is Fat's face covered in barbecue chicken and corn and Felicity grossed out by his harry ass. If they cut out most of Fat Bastard's scenes, they wouldn't be missed.
And finally, the ending needs some work. **Spoiler** The way Austin thwarts Dr. Evil's plans to destroy Washington D.C. and still save Felicity Shagwell from certain death is clever and funny. However, the mojo story line gets a stupid finish as if they ran out of ideas on how to end it. It's the everything-is-just-a-dream type conclusion as we find out that Austin never really lost his mojo. To make it worse, we get a lecture that everyone has mojo, they just need to find it inside. Oh and Fat Bastard just needs to be happy to lose his weight.
With the rest of movie's smart choices and clever wit, I'm sure they'll find a way to make this work, but honestly even if they don't, this movie is not to be missed. And now I can't wait to see Austin Powers 3.
It must have been a good night for comedy, because I also liked American Pie. This is a coming of age comedy about four high school virgins that make a pact to get laid before they graduate. Which basically boils down to the next three weeks and Prom night. Is this movie as good as Fast Times, American Graffiti, or even Porky's? No, but it IS in the same league. It takes a wholly unoriginal genre and breaks some new ground. With crap like Varsity Blues and Cruel Intentions dominating the teen movie market, this is a welcome surprise.
Strong performances and fresh wit, make story lines that we have seen before still fun and involving. Eugene Levy plays one character's father so tight that he is his own straight man. The perfect nerd father who is trying like hell to understand his son who he keeps catching masturbating in unbelievably compromising positions.
The problem with these kind of films is that when the kids get in to outrageous situations their responses to it are equally unbelievable. This movie doesn't have that problem, because the characters respond realistically to the ridicules.
But what ultimately keeps it from being just another dumb kid film is that the sentiment actually works. It is a sweet film. And usually that means stupid, but not here. This film's sweetness makes it honest. Makes it real. It's not sappy and cheesy. And in the end it works.
I've said too much.
