Hey pardners, Harry here, this time with the other film that Moriarty should've created a clone to go see... but who the hell needs a clone... We had another pair of AICN evil geniuses checking WILD WILD WEST out.... That's right... Boris and Natasha. These spies are soooooo in vogue at the moment that Rene Russo and Jason Alexander are so enraptured by the calamatous couple that they are playing them in a big budget live action Universal movie named after their nemesis.... Bullwinkle (not being played by Joe Farrell) This was an extremely rough print of the film. And is not the final film. Many changes will be made between now and release... but hey... When STAR WARS was about halfway done, Spielberg's quote was "OH MY GOD" Now Will Smith has been chiming off that this movie will bury STAR WARS... SO let's see if the movie... even in it's rough state has left Boris and Natasha a pair of drooling piles of protoplasm...
Boris and Natasha here. Last night, after being foiled once again by Moose and Squirrel, we thought we'd attend a screening of at our local Googolplex.
First off, there were many geeks in the line for the movie. I'm sure ours is not the only review that your going to receive from this screening. We heard geekspeak everywhere. The great thing about us geeks, though, is our ability to blend in. The suits couldn't distinguish us from the regular folks.
By the way, the suits were out in force and there were limos everywhere. They told us we were here for a screening of Matrix. A screening of a movie that comes out in two weeks? Come on. We knew something was up. In line they told us, "How would you like to see "The Wild Wild West" instead?" There were many groans but the theater filled up anyway.
By the way. they searched us with hand held barking metal detectors on the way in.
On to the movie. We'll give you both of our reactions separately.
Here's Boris' opinion:
I'll try to keep this spoiler free, but I may get into it a bit. I must stress that what I saw was a very rough cut. Lots of non-finalized shots (had that video look to them), unfinished special effects, etc. I got the feeling they kind of slapped this together to get our reaction to characters, special effects etc. At least, that's what I hope because they didn't build to the action scenes very well.
I didn't watch the series that this is based on a lot, but I did watch it occasionally. I think this movie will disappoint fans of the series. But let's face it, people who watched the series are not the inteneded audience for this movie. The crowd that the suits drafted for the screening was 90% 25 and under.
The opening sequence is really poorly edited. I mean, they should just cut the whole thing out. It was horrible. Also, there are also some things in the movie that just don't make sense (like, how long can a black man dressed as a cowboy walk around a white party in the deep south shortly after the Civil War without getting a reaction from any of the guests? Apparently, quite a long time.)
There are some pretty funny jokes though, which I don't want to ruin. But a lot of the jokes miss. I think we had a couple suits sitting near us during the screening cuz they laughed at everything for the first half of the movie, often when no one else in the theater was laughing.
Will Smith's character is pretty generic, lacks that Jim West charm from the TV show. But Will Smith does have a lot of charisma, so he's all right to watch. Selma Hayek is good for a while but then she gets whimpy and doe-eyed. Kenneth Branaugh is making some money here, and that's all there is to say about that. Kevin Kline is okay but I wish he was a bit more geeky.
But here's a great reason to see the movie: Selma Hayek in lingerie, talking in her sexy voice, and the upper part of her bare butt, twice. Rrrroooowwwwww! Ah, if they only put these scenes on a two-hour loop. But I digress...
Special effects - the spider looks good. Kind of looks like what would happen if one the bugs in Starship Troopers was put into one of Jeff Goldblum's pods from The Fly, along with an Imperial Land Walker from Hoth, and an Erector set, and then sent across the room to the other pod and got all meshed together into one creature.
Overall, if they clean the movie up, it should be a typical summer action movie, but not a great one. If I remember correctly, the guy who directed the movie is the same guy who directed MIB and the Addams family. This movie lacks the quirkiness of those movies, which is really too bad.
Natasha's opinion:
OK. Here goes: Will Smith's bare butt. This was the only good thing about the opening sequence. And a yummy butt, indeed. I was put off by the whole confusing opening sequence. Very poorly edited, and I felt as if I had been dropped into the middle of the movie. The opening credits were very well done, Will Smith's new song was gerat. It was rap, and for some reason, I just can't get into rap in an old Western movie. Strange.
The rest of the movie was fun, but I had a really hard time accepting all the strange machinery (tanks, spiders, planes, etc.) this was supposed to be shot in the 1800's just after the Civil War, and was a bit outlandish. I know this was a rough cut of the final film, but I was distracted by the poorly edited special effects and action sequences. I found a few continuity problems with the gadgets on the train that played essential roles in the action sequences. This undermined the believability of the movie.
Kevin Kline had a good role, but there wasn't a lot of chemistry between him and Will Smith. He seemed bored. He looks pretty good in drag. Salma Hayek started off as the movie's heroine, but I was greatly disappointed in the way her character turns out. She is a beautiful, and somewhat talented actress, and I would have enjoyed her character if the director hadn't screwed up her part. Kenneth Brannaugh's bimbo, S & M henchwomen were tougher than she, and that just isn't right, man. Poor Salma. Kenneth Branaugh's bad-boy, wheelchair bound villain is silly. Could have been a clever scary guy if they had not taken away so many vital body parts. His funky beard was pretty cool.
The movie lacked the wierdness of MIB and that was very dissapointing. MIB had my attention from frame one, and it never slowed down. WWW lacked the flow and constant visual excitement of MIB. I think it has the potential for a fun summer action flick, but it will definately not be the best one.
