Joe is retiring to concentrate on his duties at the NRG, Warner Brothers, William Morris, TriStar or the old folks home down the street. Joe has been alot of fun, annoying at times, but he had a way making me smile even when I disagree with him. He's a detestable lovable being that... well... is cool. He has been proud of attending so many screenings, but has decided that Hollywood needs him to run a studio, so that is what he is working towards. This upwardly mobile spy will one day write a tell all book, including his youthful days as Joe Hallenbeck, the last boy scout.
Now for his review, which you may or may not agree with, or may or may not want to read, because there are some spoilers. The last paragraph is his goodbye letter to all of you, so you may want to read this. GATTACA: he didn't like it. But I really enjoyed the hell out of the script. Not saying I disagree with him, haven't seen it yet, but the material is there for me to love. And the production design from what I have seen has looked tremendous. And I really hope it's good, the film is an attempt at "Intelligent" science fiction, this is among the hardest genres to work in, as many of the concepts, albeit smart and interesting, can't be delivered in an entertaining way. This may be the case of a Coffee House film. You know, where you see the movie, but then rush off to a Coffee House to discuss the ideas it brought up. But, let's let the one who has seen it speak, one last time, here is the Mighty Joe Hallenbeck:
A figment of Harry's imagination here(aka Joe Hallenbeck) with a review of Gattaca...THE SLEEPER OF THE YEAR!!!! That's right, my fellow geeks, Gattaca will be the Sleeper of the year...but I don't mean that in Hollywood terms. I mean it LITERALLY. If you suffer from insomnia, I highly recommend seeing this flick. Screw Nyquil! One reel of this flick will make you drift off to La-La Land in no time.
Allow me, the most hated spy in the biz, Joe Hallenbeck, to review Gattaca in only a way that I would dare do so......
The Plot - A very intriguing ditty, if I may say so myself. The story, set in an Orwellian-like near future, focuses on some rather nifty medical/sci-fi jargon concerning DNA mapping and the creation of the "Perfect" human being(and, yes...I DO fall under that category). Ethan Hawke plays a guy like the rest of you -- NORMAL(although, I can't consider most people out there "Normal") -- who wants to show society that a "Normal" person can do anything They(Perfect Beings) can do...but better. Thrown into this convoluted movie is a Slight Romance between Hawke and Uma Thurman, a murder mystery, a brother versus brother storyline, and a friendship between a "perfect" being who's not so perfect anymore and Hawke. The movie does present an important question, "How far should we go scientifically?" It's that whole should-man-be-playing-God? thing. However, unlike in most quasi-fact based sci-fi films, Gattaca is more realistic because we're almost to the point where parents can pick and choose what they want their child to be like before they are even conceived. It's a scary thought that is explored, although quite tediously, in this movie. Personally, I say Fuck It! Let's tamper with Mother Nature and see if we can open Pandora's Box.
The writting - I will say this about the screenplay...Whoever wrote this movie sure did a helluva lot of research. This is a very well thought out, often clever, sci-fi flick. They/He/She really took the time and thought about this logically. Some minor examples: Dead skin lying about. Urine samples. Hair folicles(You'll understand what I'm talking about after seeing the flick). I only wish the writer(s) would have made the story and characters more interesting, instead of focusing all of his/hers/their attention on the minor(yet facinating) details of the script. The movie nearly goes on for two hours and nothing of interest takes place. It's a very small Sci-Fi film...almost avant garde. To me, Avant Garde and Sci-Fi don't mix. This movie reminded me of a really cool, albeit incredibly LONG, episode of The Outer Limits. That's it!....That's what this movie is...It's a long, drawn out Limits episode. Only if they could cut a 1:10 minutes out, they might actually have something!
The Directing - Pick up the pace, Mr. Nicol. My God, were not exploring War and Peace here. You try to make an epic out of a 45 minute Limits episode. Sure, you have a great concept and with meticulously thought-out details, but add a little humor or suspense to the proceedings. I've seen turtles sprint the 400K faster than this thing spewed out on the screen. Maybe your editor can salvage what was interesting about this film(although, that won't help out that much either. They should've realized all this in the Pre-production phase).
The Acting - Not much you can say here. Both Hawke and Thurman seem as if they were given Mickey's between takes. As a matter of fact, I think everyone involved must've been slipped Mickey's. Crack a smile! Raise your voice! Show some kind of emotion, DAMN IT!!! It was as if Data wrote this damn thing!
The Climax - The movie actually takes an even sharper nose-dive than The Game in it's ever-so-important climax. What started out as a moralistic sci-fi fable turns out to be a cliched "Who's the better Brother" movie. I couldn't help but laugh my ass off when I saw this absurd climax taking place. It was staight out of American Anthem or something. It was as if the filmmakers didn't know how to end the movie so they slapped on this ridiculous and highly unnecessary climax. Shame on you for getting lazy!
On a more personal note, I, the Mighty Joe Hallenbeck, has decided to hang up his gloves. I'm taking that last train to Georgia. I'm heading to that second star on the right and I'm going to keep that course straight on 'til morning. That's right. I'm retiring. I feel I've done all I can to piss people off while managing to entertain them at the same time. It's time for Mr. Hallenbeck to saddle his high horse and ride off into the sunset like the true Gunslinger he is. My work on this site is done, my fellow geeks and geekettes. For all you fans out there who absolutely adore my reviews and yours truly, I have nothing but love for ya. And to those of you out there who are now chuggin' down a bottle of Cold Duck because of my retiring plans, I have but two words for you...........
T.T.F.N.,
Joe Hallenbeck
Signing off..................................................................
